merry christmas and a happy new year. I made it back to the olde states of america, but not without problems. I had to pay extra for the large bags I had, which were all the presents I was giving all the people i know. the flights were fine, no problems there. When i got to my final destination, only one bag came in and i had to file a report and find out where my bags were. So my family picked me up and I was home, it was wierd. The next day they came over with my misplaced bags, which had come in on a later flight. This was sunday the 19th now. Me and Meaghan decided to go back to richmond that night because she had to work on monday, so we headed out at around 830 pm and it was snowing and slippery. We were on 95 going south when meaghan slipped a little on the road so we pulled over to the sholder and put on the flashers. Then someone in a Isuzu trooper plowed in the back of us, bazam! Meaghan was crying and i was trying to figure out if everything was ok. She ended up getting ten staples in her head and a concusion and whip lash. i had a little whiplash and thats about it. So thats fun. And then the next day I was feeling sick from some thing i had caught in thailand, and i got worse. I had high feaver and all the nasty things like the flu, but it wasnt the flu. I went to the doctors and they think i have malaria, so im waiting to hear back from my blood test to see what ive got exactly. So yeah comming back hasnt been the best experience but im slowly getting used to the swing of things again.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Monday, November 15, 2004
The Slow Death of an Attached Mind Living in Suffering
Humbly on, just on and going
I have done but we all still do
Once again a following can brew
I never signed up, yet it is destiny
For rain to fall
For men to fall
For fall to fall
Anicca shows her face
Where is the escape?
We have three jewels
We have the four noble
We have the eightfold
To conceptualize is nothing
To realize is to not name
Swallow
With this kick up and down, where do we go to explore?
No more up right doors, outright locked, who are they for?
The language that we speak
Helps no one to learn
Well what words will win, oh to heaven I’ll find
That along the way we’ll all do our time
But to fetch the water with a holy pail
Won’t but make mud for the dirt to swallow
Folly of Men
What does man know of the buffalo’s strength, or the swiftness of the wild mustang?Can he fly like it is his right amongst the geese?No, we haven’t been given that purpose, yet we are deterred from being human.We are blessed with thought, rational and intelligence, But to what avail do we make use of it?Everything bigger and faster, so the ego gets slower and fatter. Do we live for material improvement only, judging others worth by their estate?The folly of man is that he has forgotten himselfWe have geniuses that contemplate the workings of engines,But they know not how they operate or by what means their minds are fueledThey majority have not contemplated the very thing that defines usWhy, just as easily the monkey swings from branch to branch,We should be able to rationalize our suffering and conclude them,It is known that we will all perish, but the time is unknownSo why haven’t the greatest men,The men who are given power from wealth, who invent miraculous products,Why haven’t they found the way in which to avoid suffering.It is not these men who are wise, for they seek the answer on paperAll men must know that what we all search forWas given to us at birth, but slowly buried among the discarded yearsThe human ability to defy ignorance is the purpose in which we must fess up toOne day, one year, one life, means nothing in this evolutionAnd although some strive to ease the pain of others.Ultimately, we must search ourselves for the cure to life
Most people don't know they move their own feet. If you do you might end up going where you want to be...
Read: A comparative study of Buddhism and Christianity by: Fumio Masutani
“The Buddha started on his way when he observed human suffering. On recalling his miserable existence burdened with fourfold bitterness of birth, old age, sickness, and death, he remarked that the pride of his youth instantly vanished and the pleasure of his life totally collapsed. However, Buddha was not a weakling such as succumbs to grief. He could not think of turning his eyes from the bitterness of life to the ephemeral sweetness of futility. He never thought of seeking salvation in a “blind state of self-complacency in ignorance.” He faced human sorrow with unflinching eyes, and endeavored to unravel its mystery with the fortitude of his reasoning power. The conclusion he subsequently reached was very pessimistic: “All is suffering.”Nevertheless, he, instead of escaping from the sorrowful life with eyes shut, tried to pry out the secret of such sorrow with eyes wide open. A way opened itself thereupon. This was the fourfold truth of suffering, its cause, its cessation, and practice.”
Read: The Empty Mirror by: Janwillem van de Wetering
“In India a hermit was meditating on the shore of a river when he was disturbed by a young man. The young man knelt down and said: “Master, I want to become your disciple.” “Why?” asked the master. “Because I want to find God.”The master jumped up, took the young man by the scruff of the neck, dragged him to the river and pushed his head under water. After a minute the master released the young man and pulled him out of the river. The young man spat out some of the water which he got in his mouth and began to cough. After a while he became quite. “What did you want most of all while I kept you under water?” asked the master. “Air,” said the young man. “Very well,” the master said. “Go back to wherever you have come from, and come back to me when you want God as much as you wanted air just now.”
October 2, 2004
The following are Text Messages I recieved on this day:
From: Jhoke
What’s going on? I don’t understand you. What are you doing? What are you trying to tell me? Are you dating Carol? If yes then is this how you’re telling me so? Why did you have to try that hard? Just tell me you’re dating her and I’ll get the fuck out of your life. I felt hurt and humiliated. I thought you liked me from the way you approached me and the way you looked at me. Maybe I’m a fool for feeling that way. But now I feel like you’re a coward for not telling me about Carol, feel like you’re a liar for mentioning her as a friend. I knew about her all along from the start but I hanged in there cos I wasn’t sure about your relationship with her. Now from what I saw today, I think she’s more than a friend. I feel like a third wheel.
From: Jhoke
I’m so jealous because you’re so sweet together. Where should I be? Why do you want to keep me or just because it makes you feel good to have someone being crazy about you? I like you a lot. I even told my friend about you. She asked what if you want to keep both Caroll and me and I said I’ll go with it. But now I’m not so sure because 3 wheels may work but only if all the wheels have honesty with eachother. I like you a lot and I’m seeing anybody else. But I had to leave to for a friend because I can’t seeing you and her that way.
From: Jhoke
Now I don’t know what to do. I wish I can turn cold shoulder, but I don’t wanna do that and I can’t.
To Jhoke: Just woke up. I am sorry that you are hurt but how was I supposed to know, I only see you as a friend because I do not like guys that way, I’m sorry if you thought differently- can we just be friends?
From: JhokeDeal! Feeling much better now. So I’ve been a jerk the whole time. But that’s good to know really. This is very embarrassing. If you tell anyone I’ll fucking kill you!
To Jhoke: Mai ben rai.
Me and Jason talked it over and he is officially crazy. This is me and Jason’s view of the story.
Joke had asked if I wanted to go eat somewhere and I agreed. But I didn’t tell him I was going to bring along Jason and Carol, which since I thought we were just friends then this would be no problem. So we decided to meet somewhere and when we met up he seemed fine with it and he and carol had met before so they talked as me and Jason walked behind them until we got to the restaurant. First off, to inform you me and Carol are just friends and even Jason agreed we were acting just as friends do. But it was obvious that Joke was delirous in his own passions and assumed things that made his feelings worse, I mean I hardly paid attention to Carol that whole night, I sat next to Joke at dinner and Jason sat next to Carol. We were just a group of friends hanging out with no woes whatsoever, or so I thought. There really was no indication that Joke liked me before and I am mad that he would just assume that I knew, I mean how can you assume something like that. We had met when I arrived in Thailand because he worked in the international office and I saw him a lot. He’s a cool Thai guy, and funny and showed me and Jason around our first weeks here. So I kept stopping in to say hi and see if he wanted to get lunch and just normal friendly relationships. He is 25 and had graduated with a computer engineering degree, and speaks perfect English. So we had known each other for a while and although I had heard some vague rumor that he was gay, I really paid no attention to it because people throw gay around so much you don’t know what to make of it. I mean I have met some gay guys in the past and they all are nice but you know that they are gay. Joke on the other hand, as far as I could tell, was far from gay because he randomly made heterosexual references, as most guys do. So I didn’t even slightly suspect it, although I don’t assess the sexual preference of every one I meet. They are what they are, I never would have thought that I had a gay friend they could be attracted me. So that was where my problem started, I suppose. So we are now enjoying the dinner, with all the normal conversation. We finish and try to decide where to go next, it had started raining so walking anywhere was out of the question. I suggested we go to Central, a big shopping mall, and play some video games just to pass the time. They all were ok with that so we took a taxi over there. We got to the games floor and played a few games, got split up and were on our own for a bit. When I found Carol and Jason they said that Joke had left to go see a friend. This seemed a bit odd that he would just leave and not say anything to me, but I didn’t make much of it and shrugged it off. We walked around some more and then decided to go back home because we really had nothing to do. And that was it, that was the extent of the evening. Now how do those messages relate to this, well that’s exactly it. He seems to be living in denial about something and I guess he felt betrayed that I didn’t talk to him more or spend more time with him. He was more than likely jealous that I didn’t come on to him any way. I really don’t know but it was obvious that he had some mental lapse and just wanted to tell me how he felt. So I don’t blame him at all but his messages attacked me personally and there was anger in his tone. This mad me mad a bit, because he never made any reference to liking me and never came on to me as far as I could tell, so he just assumed I knew and if I knew then why was I acting the way I was. That’s what happens when you assume I guess, you make an ASS out of U and ME. After I read the messages I was shocked and flustered, I didn’t know what to think, if he was playing some sick joke or not. But I showed Jason and he said that Moo, one of our friends and Joke’s close friend, told him that Joke was gay and that he liked me. Whoha! Hold on a second, Jason knew and he never hinted to me about it, man did I feel out of the loop. But it really has nothing to do with Jason so he is safe on this one. Now that I look back and try to figure this out, I can see that he did have his ways of showing that he liked me. I mean he always wanted to get lunch or dinner with me, he just wanted to come over to hang out and “see” me, and that one time he took my shoes home instead of his own. So yeah if I look at it as he is gay then yeah it might seem that he liked me, but I just thought he was a friend that wanted to hang out and we got along well. Now I have to face the awkwardness of talking to him like none of this happened. It’s hard but I think we can just be friends, dang what is it with me….
October 9, 2004
I can’t help but feel that sometimes when I go outside into the city of Bangkok that I am not actually outside at all. It is a strange feeling; it is not the normal feeling of open air and trees, the feeling of being outside. There is so much concrete and buildings and overpasses that you feel continually boxed in, not to the point of claustrophobia, but as if I was in a large container. It is like the feeling of walking into a huge cave, where you know you are walled in by rocks, but feel the emptiness of the space as something vast. It is this feeling but in reverse. You are actually outside, no doubt, but the outdoors are nowhere to be seen. You walk down the sidewalk, with roads to the side of you and on top of you, with rare glimpses of the sky. But this still feels as though you are not quite outside. You are in some weird transmission from a smaller building, where the walls are closer to you, to a larger space that can’t really be classified as the outdoors as there are walls still surrounding you. Bangkok has this feeling eighty percent of the time and I sometimes have to travel out of the city to feel like I’m outside. As much as I love nature, I can put up with this feeling, simply because it’s new and interesting. There does come a point where frustration and all the loud noises peak and I must get out of this giant shopping mall, Bangkok.
October 21 – 26
Phuket, an island really down south, is the setting for the largest vegetarian festival in Thailand. It lasts 9 days and started on 13 of October. This, I have to say, is my favorite time. Throughout Thailand as a whole, many places hang up banners and have special dishes just for this time of year, where most Buddhist strictly observe the precepts and eat a vegetarian diet for the 9 days. In Bangkok there are many stalls and street vendors selling special vegetarian foods, and I was excited to try as much as I could while it lasted. The banners are yellow with red writing, this symbolizes that they sell veg food, so this was aim, wherever there were banners I could order anything and not have to worry about what was in it. So Phuket is the place where they have the most interesting spectacles in all of Thailand. I had read that they have parades with men testing and ‘purifying’ themselves by walking over hot coals and piercing their faces with large bamboo poles. Naturally, I couldn’t hold myself back from going to see this festival with my own eyes.Another thing I must tell, Meaghan decided to come and visit me and I said it would be alright, I mean I wanted her too as she wanted to see me too. So it was decided that she would come and spend a few weeks with me during the time of my birthday. So I planned this trip to Phuket as I would have to miss a few days of classes, but it was also during a week where we had a 3 day weekend due to King Rama V’s death anniversary which lies on the same day as my birthday, Oct 23. Meaghan arrived the 16th, the same day that I got back from a art and architecture class trip to several Khmer temples, one being slightly in Cambodia. So I got back at around 9pm and then had to get to the airport at around 11:30 to pick up Meaghan. Ok so she’s here now.We left to go to Phuket at around 7pm on Thursday the 21st, in a ‘VIP’ bus which was pretty nice and we were able to tolerate the long trip of 14 some odd hours. Once we arrived in the area the bus stopped at Surat Thani, a province 4 hours away from the island itself. We got transferred to a ‘minibus’, which was just an uncomfortable van that fit about 10 people plus the driver. So this bus headed towards Phuket and we arrived in the central town of Phuket at about noon on Friday. This place was the ‘travel agency’ that would take us in the van to wherever we were going, which I didn’t know…I wanted to stay in Phuket town for a day to see the festivals, but the lady said that that would be expensive and most of the hotels are already booked. So she suggested Patong beach, which is where most of the tourists go, and they have cheap places to stay. She suggested renting a moped to ride into town at night to see the festival. It seemed our options were limited so we just went with the flow and paid the extra 100B to get to Patong beach, and we would see what happens from there. We got dropped off at a place on the map the lady said had cheap accommodations, we walked down the nearest alley and to the end to a place called “Touch Villa”. We asked about a room, and it was 300B a night, so that’s pretty cheap; we decided to unload our stuff there and get the room. After dropping our stuff off we walked around the area, which was highly developed for tourists. There were tons of bars on every street, along with the standard ‘Thai’ shop for souvenirs. We got to the beach in about 4mins and were bombarded with people trying to sell us things such as renting a jet ski, parasailing, and even renting a lounge chair on the beach. Walking down the beach, it was nice to see sand and water and palm/coconut trees, but there were too many boats and jet skis in the water for it to be relaxing. We walked for a bit then headed back and I stopped at a place to rent a scooter. It took me a while to get the cheapest price, and my Thai came in handy, especially when they realized I was from Thammasat, so they gave me a ‘manual’ bike for 150B for 24hrs. The manual is clutchless, you just have to shift with your foot, and it was a 125cc, if I can remember correctly. I was a bit nervous driving around on real roads with the Thai, but I got the hang of it, just go wherever you can go and try not to get hurt. We only had one helmet, for it is only required for the driver to wear one, so I drove causelessly, at first. We settled back to the Touch Villa, and took a rest for a bit, and by this time it was getting late so we headed toward Phuket town where the festival would be going on and we could get some good vegetarian food. We got on the motorcycle and I triple checked the map I had on how to get to the town, the road signs were hard to read and very ambiguous in the direction they were pointing. I drove around and up and down the mountains and around the sharp curves and finally made it to the general area of the town. I didn’t know exactly where to go, but we saw a lot of people wearing white (as is the custom for the vegetarian festival), so we followed them to a Chinese temple, where there was stalls lined down the street selling all sorts of vegetarian goodies. I parked the bike and we walked around and center was the temple with kids shooting off fire crackers and many people making offerings. This area had a good feel about it, fused with vegetarian energy and merrymaking, it sharply instilled in me a surreal feeling of finally being outside Bangkok for one, and also the amazing realization of where I am…Thailand. We walked and took several pictures, grabbed some snacks from various vendors and then decided to check out other parts of the town. We got on and followed some more white clothed cyclists to the southern tip of the town, which backs up to a the ocean, alongside the harbor and bay area. There was another Chinese temple, this one was more out in the open, and only 200 yards from the beach. There were many people here also, and there was a gathering around the front of the temple, so me and meg went to check it out. We managed to get into viewing distance, as many locals were smiling at us and allowing for us to get closer and see the ‘Thai’ ways and traditions. There was a large pole in the center, made from a coconut tree, which people were stacking on top of. There was a small to large arrangement of them, from a small kid of only 2 or 3 years old to a large and bulky man supporting all the weight at the bottom. They had climbed to the top of the pole and were sitting on top of each others shoulders, 5 in all, and we watched the whole process in the silent tension of the whole crowd. After the feat was accomplished they slowly reversed the process and all got down safe and without incident. Next there was the youngest kid, and a 20 year old, climbing to the top and preparing for another trick. We watched and the kid was raised to the top and the guy spun around and did a few aerobatics, then dropped the kid off the pole! With a gasp of us onlookers we then saw he had tied a rope to his ankle and the boy was stopped a foot or two before hitting the people below, it was a crowd teaser and everyone sighed in relief, the kid was pulled back up and then he waved to the applauding crowd, ha, it certainly made me jump a bit. After this, the crowd disbanded and walked toward the beach where there were men in a long Chinese dragon, and they paraded along with fire spitting out of the paper dragons mouth and danced with the background drumbeat. All these festivities were definitely exciting but didn’t compare to the parade that came later. After it seemed like there was no more events we went back to the bike and headed down the main road back to town. There were many people parked and sitting along side the road, so we figured that the parade would be going down this road. We found a good spot and parked along the other 500 motorbikes to get a good view. It was about 9is then, and we sat around for awhile without anything really going on. Everyone had fireworks, they were selling them all along side the road, and even little kids were lighting them off and throwing them at each other. It was a kind of waiting for the parade and everyone was having fun trying to scare their friends and random people by covertly dropping a lit firecracker by the feet of the victim and walking away with a grin awaiting the “Pop! Pop-pop!” and accompanying screams. This happened a few times to me and Meaghan, as we thought would because there were only a few foreigners to be seen, so we did stick out a bit. It was good fun and all and we were amused watching everyone trying to get each other. Though it did hurt, there were like the wildcats, or little TNT fireworks, and they were loud too. These went on for about an hour and a half until the parade started coming down the street. Now we didn’t really have a clue what was going to happen, I had read that they perform feats of pain to ‘purify’ themselves and had seen pictures of people with rods through their faces so I was half expecting something gruesome. When the first group of people came by, about 12, they were marching half naked while everyone in the crowds of people threw fireworks at them! They walked normally while the explosions took place all over their bodies and we could barely see the people behind the fiery mass around them. This was the loudest part, our ears were constantly ringing and, I being close to the street so to get good pictures, felt some of the explosions and some wandering firecrackers that were thrown poorly. These groups of people came in groups ever 5 minutes or so and there were little stations where they were burning incense and had tea and other things for the people to stop and eat at to get refreshed, but this didn’t stop people from still throwing firecrackers at them. This went on for about an hour and finally towards the end a mass of people came down the street and everyone knelt down and stopped the madness for a bit, following them was a truck with bright lights and music playing. After they had passed I took a look at the streets and they were covered with red paper and debris from the explosions. There were still a few people trickling by and the excitement dwindled with a few ‘Pop-Pop’s here and there. We were pretty tired by then and it was about 11:30 so we hopped on the bike and cruised out of there avoiding people still throwing their remaining fireworks in the road. The smoke of the festivities still lingered and it created a warm glow that easily looked how I felt inside. We scooted out of town into the darkness of the outskirts and back through the hills to another glow of our brightly lit beach. Once we arrived back to our hut, the whole day of traveling and bus riding finally caught up with us and we were beat. By then it was past 12 and Meaghan wished me a happy birthday and we fell asleep in the hut on the island of Phuket, Thailand.The following days we did a lot. The rented bike got good use, and we also got some good sunburn. Saturday we took the bike around the southern tip of the island to the zoo, at first, but the price was 500B to see some cruelly trained animals do tricks and this wasn’t what we had hoped. So we continued down the road in the glairing sun with the salty air breathing for us, we went to Phromthep Cape, where there was a “view point” with an amazing view. We were on an outcropping elevated above some hundred meters, and we could see the rocky coast and some further islands. There were lots of little shops catering to tourists and Meaghan found some selling pearls, and they were extremely cheap since we were getting them closer to the source, she bought a shiny round strand for 400B, about $10 but would probably easily sell for over a hundred American dollars. From there we continued up the coast and decided we needed to jump into the ocean to cool off so we followed signs to Kata Noi Beach. We go to the beach area which was mainly undeveloped and we enjoyed some peace in the crystal clear waters, where you could be up to your neck and still see the hairs on your toes, if you have hair on your toes; you could see Meaghan’s foot tattoo clearly. On the beach were a couple of tourists and one lay walking around topless, me and meg couldn’t help but look and laugh a bit at the spectacle. After we cooled off we drove back north up the coast to our beach and I had to return the bike by 4pm. So after we dropped off the bike we went back to our place and rested a bit then went to get some food and my “birthday dinner”, I had Pat Thai of course and we got some….you guessed it, fried bananas with ‘honey flavored syrup’. Meg paid for us and it was a birthday I wont forget, simply because I got to share my Thailand experience with Meaghan on my 21st birthday, I really don’t feel any older, if anything I feel younger. Well after we ate we just walked around and enjoyed the sights and avoiding the people trying to sell us fake designer bags and sunglasses. We went to bed to see what the next day would bring. It was Sunday morning and we had agreed to move up north to a quieter beach and see more of the island. We checked out and paid 600B total for 2 nights. We walked out and down the street with a faint idea that we wanted to go to Bang Thao Beach. We walked and then just kept walking out of the town and down the road leading towards that beach, I knew it was far but had no idea how long it would take to get there. We walked up hills and around the coast and kept walking with little rests here and there. After about an hour and a half Meaghan had to really use the bathroom, we were really on an unpopulated road and I didn’t know what to suggest except to just go in the trees behind a rock or something, so we walked a bit more but she decided to be one with nature and just go. So after she came back out of the forest we walked for about 30 seconds and saw a small restaurant across the street with a bathroom behind it, ha, so we laughed at this but all was good, it worked out anyway. So we continued walking some more and after 2 hours of walking I checked the map and we were almost halfway there. This got a little tiring for the both of us, as I was carrying both of our backpacks. So eventually a nice local pulled over and asked where we were going and I said the area, and it turned out that’s where they lived and took us to the cheapest bungalow on the beach. We thanked him and it turned out he was a private taxi driver anyway and he gave us his card but didn’t charge us anything. We went to the front desk and got the rate of 400B a night, for it was the end of the low season. We were feeling the walk and just collapsed on the bed for a while, then took to the beach. I also wanted to rent a motorbike in this area but all the places were expensive. We walked down the small road a bit, where there was really nothing, a few shops and 2 restaurants in the whole area. We waked by a sign that said bike for rent and I asked a guy about it, he said to come back in an hour but the rate was 250B for a day, which was 100B more than yesterday. We decided to walk further but about 3 minutes later the guy we had just talked to came zooming up in a shiny new white Honda with the contract and all, so I just agreed and we hopped on and took off leaving the guy to walk back. I had to find a place to get gas as he gave us the bike with it on Empty. So after I filled up for 80B we toured the unpopulated areas, with many water buffalo and rice patties and local shacks and towns. I got lost a bit, and it was hard to find our way back to our secluded beach but I eventually found it. We parked the bike and went for a dip in the ocean and rested on the beach. We got cleaned up and took the bike again to find a place to eat because all the ones close by were extremely expensive, for tourists, but it was hard to find vegetarian anywhere so we decided on a western style place in a town up the road, Meaghan had spaghetti and I had fried rice with vegetables. By this time it was night and the air was much cooler, it felt good to ride the bike and follow the curves of the road by the small light on the front of our bike. I know now that I have to get a motorcycle when I get back, I love that feeling and before I even rode I knew I’d love it, it’s the feeling that the driver and the “outside” are one, or that you are not separated or “shielded” from reality - and it was even amplified with Meaghan holding on to me and trusting me with her life, ha! I don’t think she had ever rode on one before and she was scared for the first day or so, but I think she ended up enjoying it just as much as I did. After getting back from riding around, it was dark, and we just enjoyed being where we were, I found that it was so relaxing that I wanted to sleep, and so we did. The next day we followed my big cartoon tourist map to a national park on the island, where there was a waterfall and gibbon rehabilitation center. It took a good 20 minutes to get there, but it was all country scenery and the sun created another perfect day. We got to the park, had to pay 200B each, and drove along a small curvy road that was lined with deep green trees which dropped shade on us (greatly lowing the outside temperature), and the tropical forest was slowly becoming evident. We parked the bike in the lot, and walked up to the Gibbon Rehabilitation center. A guy and a girl, obviously not thai, greeted us in English. They were volunteering in that program from wherever they were from, England or Australia, and explained what the project was all about. The gibbons are protected animals for they were slowly becoming extinct due to people wanting them as pets or show animals. They would often kill whole families just to get the babies, which were then easier to train and adapt to being around humans, but also being in a cage. Many people would take them around for tourists to get their pictures taken with them, and this is one of the many problems that plagues the program today…anyway a gibbon is a primate, you know a monkey, in case you were wondering. We got the basic tour and got to see some of them energetically swinging back and fourth and running about in their cages up along the hillside, where they would progress and be introduced into a “gibbon family” and eventually be released back in the wild. Me and Meg got matching t-shirts and then followed the hiking trail up the mountain to see the main waterfall. It was really humid, as you can imagine in a tropical forest, but it was a good kind of sweat, or at least I thought so. The jungle ignites something in me, and I couldn’t help but stop and stare at the long green bamboo along the trail. With the long vines and meandering tree stumps I contemplated swinging from branch to branch while beating on my chest, I wanted to find some bananas most of all, and prove that I could survive in these here woods. But we continued on dodging fallen trees and overhanging spiky things. Alas we reached the cool mist of the falling waterfall!, well it wasn’t so impressive but certainly a site to see. It fell into a clear pool, where rocks pushed its flow back down the mountain. There were people sitting about, and some swimming in the area. The trail continued up the mountain, but I was unsure weather it was a trail at all because no one else really seemed to be going further. Then we saw two people grab a hold and just go up my suspected trail, so we followed them, hoping that if it the trail would suddenly fall off a cliff, they would go screaming down and we would therefore be warned. But, this never happened and it just relentlessly went onward and we were just consumed in forest. It got to the point were we would have to just turn around because further wondering would just increase the time to get back and it had already be over an hour. It looked the same in front of us as it did behind, deep green with sparkles of sun filtering through the high bamboo leaves and elder trees. I had half expected to see some “wildlife”, you know monkeys or maybe even a tiger as I had read the park does contain a good population of them, but the most we saw was a backing lizard that was soon frightened away. We trekked back down the mountain and this is where I got to try some branch swinging, as they helped me get down the more steeper parts. We eventually got back to where we had parked the motorbike, and decided to eat at the little open air restaurant, also right at the bottom. After this I headed out and back to the country road, but still heading north, but the road curved around and I had planned to stop at a Wat of some recognition, as it was colorfully noted on my map. It was Wat Phra Thong which according to my guide book: “Wat Phra Thong is built around an unusual gold-leaf Buddha image, half buried in the ground. Legend says that whoever tries to remove it will die.” So we entered into the monastery, which had the same calm atmosphere as most did, but with a tropical sent of course. The sun was still beaming and we were ever the more sunburned. We walked to the Wihan (main building where the Buddha image was situated) and took observance of the few practitioners there. We walked in and looked around, and I took special note of Meaghan’s reactions as I think it was the first temple she had been in. I think she felt uncomfortable a bit, but was secure in knowing that I was relaxed as it really is not a problem for anyone to just walk in. The temples are for the people, and though people get down on their knees in some areas and it is sacred, it has a welcoming feel and you are supposed to feel safe. It did take me awhile, after I first got here, to realize this and after talking with Thais, they don’t mind foreigners, or rather tourists, at all coming in as long as they are respectful and not boisterous or distracting. After leaving the Wihan, we walked around the other buildings and bought popsicles from a lady, she was quite the savior as she offered some weapon to attack the encroaching heat. We sat in the shade and ate them, but we had to do it quickly because they melted easily in the tropical air. After feeling cleansed and replenished, we hoped on the white Honda and headed back to Bang Thao Beach. The road that goes in front of our bungalow continues past to open fields and water buffalo, knowing that I had two more hours until I had to return the bike, I kept going past the entrance down the road. I didn’t really know where we were going, but I just wanted to keep riding, and we got turned around with the farmland and rising land in the background. We had been riding for a bit and I was looking for a way to go back when there was a random bout of rain, just falling out of the clear blue sky. This lasted for 5 minutes or so, then back to the regular heat, except you could feel the water evaporating from the black road underneath us. Then as we were coming around a corner, the bike slowly started going in a direction that I didn’t want it to go, mainly out from under us. It just tipped and slid out from under us on the newly slick road. We were left sliding on pavement as the bike went slightly further across the other lane, luckily I had been only going about 30 miles an hour and we were able to stand up, but not without being slightly confused as to what had just happened. We checked ourselves, and noted the left sides of our bodies where we had made contact: no profuse bleeding, able to move without significant pain, all extremities still attached…check, check , check. I headed for the bike while Meaghan picked up our scattered items that had been in the front basket of the bike. It took me awhile to get it in neutral and wheel it out of the way, all the while people were yelling at us to hurry up and get out of the road, ahh the frustrations of tourists. I looked around, although still flustered, I noticed a family just staring at us, and then checked the bike for any damage. Nope all parts still there, hop on Meaghan – zoom, and we were down the road again with the wind stinging our recently acquired souvenirs. Meaghan got the brunt of it, or maybe I was just wearing more clothes than her, but she had arm, elbow, knee, and multiple toe damage, while I just had scrapes on my elbow and arm, and some road rash on my back/shoulder, she toughed it out though and I was proud of her. Although the responsibility had finally hit me and I couldn’t help but feel awful and guilty for it, even though I hadn’t been totally reckless I still felt it could have been avoided, but, they say experience is the best teacher. We managed to find the way back to our hut and we attended to our wounds. I went out and tried to clean up the bike a bit, and I knew he would notice the scratches because it was a brand new bike. The front fender had a noticeable, but not hideous, scratch the revealed the black plastic under the white paint. The left handle bar had scratched along the pavement, so metal was worn off a bit there, and the mirror had tiny scratches on the back plastic. Other than that it was fine, and I thought there would have been more damage. Then I finally decided to take it back, wondering what the leaser would say or even notice. He was waiting when me and Meaghan pulled up, just down the street from where we were staying. We stepped off and then he took few looks at the bike. He said “did you have and accident”, “nid noi” I said, which means just a little. He had a frown on his face, and one of his friends came and joined us. He began assessing the damage and how much it would cost him to get fixed, but really the bike was fine the way it was and there was no harm done, honestly. But he still insisted, he said in addition to the 250B rental, he wanted 500B more. We went on for a few minutes, with me persuading him that I didn’t have all that money any how. I explained how the accident happened, and no other people were involved. All the while more locals began gathering, an older man, which I perceived to be a relative of the leaser who by the way was a young guy probably 24 or so. They had discussions in Thai that I was able to get pieces from and interject a “may dai” (I can’t) or “sam sip dai mai?”…offering him 300 total. The old man persuaded talked to him more, and it seemed to be a deep discussion because they had also noticed the injuries which we had incurred, and I think the elder thought that these were enough payment for the scratches on the bike, but anyhow, I made a final offer of 400 and he reluctantly took it, the total sum of $10, which included the rental fee. So I was down a few hundred but it didn’t cause too much of a problem, and although I did fee bad I thought that he would still be able to make money renting the bike with or without the scratches. The old man made us too shake hands in the end, and the dispute was finished. I walked away grinning at the whole situation and I think Meaghan just didn’t follow the whole argument but was glad it was over. We walked back to our bungalow and took our towels to the beach to lay down and absorb the day. We wanted to go in the water but our open wounds would only allow 5 minutes or so until the pain surpassed the enjoyment of the warm water. We rested on the beach some and then took a walk looking for shells and such. We found 3 “wild” hermit crabs, “wild” because I had never seen them on any beach before, not even back home. Meaghan picked some good shells and even found a really cool one, a spiral with spikes but a few minutes later with it in her hand it started moving around, ha, it turned out to be another hermit crab and she had just not noticed. On the way back I found a plastic bottle and was able to get some sand and find another hermit crab and take him back to our room. He’s a small guy, with a grey and dark red swirly shell. We got our stuff together and agreed that we would leave tomorrow, and head back to Bangkok.The next day, Tuesday Oct 25, we ate breakfast at our resort and then checked out of the front desk. The lady was kind enough to ask where we were going and how we would get there. I told her we were headed to Phuket town to the main bus station. She hollered to the back a got us a ride to the main road where we could take the local “bus” to Phuket town, about 20 minutes away. I say “bus” because it was just a large truck with the back having 2 benches on either side and also a permanent wooden canopy. It cost us 40B to get to the station where it took a while, but I got us tickets for second class back to Bangkok for 389B each. It was about 12:30 or so and the bus didn’t leave until 4:20, so we had a lot of time for a lot of nothing. We walked around outside then after that got too hot, we went to a café up stairs and sat for an hour or so. Then we checked our bags with the lady, so we could go get some real food before we got on the bus. We walked down the street, then found a decent cheap place and filled up for the long bus ride home. We managed to get back just on time and hopped on the bus at 4:20, where we were quickly placed in the last row, and I noticed we were the only foreigners. The bus was filled up to capacity, and we even picked up random people who had to fill the bed in the back and one old man had to sit on a stool in the middle of the aisle. On the way back we stop at several “rest stops” where we can go to the bathroom and also buy small snacks and drinks. At one of the stops, at about 1 in the morning, I went to the 7-11 to get stuff, it didn’t take long, but as I was coming out the bus was already pulling out so I ran and knocked on the door just in time, and they let me in and I took my seat in the back where Meaghan had wide eyes wondering if I would be lost forever or not. This was the only happening worth mentioning on the way back, besides the intermittent sleep and bumps it was a fairly normal ride. We got back to Bangkok at around 6:30am Weds. morning. We took another city bus for 5 minutes back to my apartment, woke up Jason while coming in but then we went to sleep. It was hard to readjust due to the morning hours and Bangkok atmosphere. I still have that hermit crab, I wonder if he can make it back to America?, well that is another saga to be continued.
November 12, 2004
I saw a strange thing this day, it is graphic, but worth mentioning. Apparently a male dog was trying to mate with a female, and they had somehow ended up backwards. Now…hear me out on this one. They were in the middle of the sidewalk and several other people were staring at the conundrum, so don’t take me as a pervert or anything of the like. Ok, so the female was lying on her back, with all fours up in the air. For directional purposes lets say her head was facing south, ok got it? Female, on back, all fours in the air, facing south. The male was standing, quite awkwardly, facing NORTH, over the lower half of the female, with his…um…organ inside her organ…struggling to get it out. So basically he was trying to escape by hopping, but he was stuck inside while the female just lay there bouncing about. Now to make it even stranger, another male (dog, just to clarify) was sticking his snout in that area in conflict, and the two males were growling at each other showing their threatening teeth. So, yeah, it just doesn’t happen in the human world anymore, dogs too are being caught “in the act” while having an affair. Just a beautiful mental picture of the Bangkok I see everyday.
Humbly on, just on and going
I have done but we all still do
Once again a following can brew
I never signed up, yet it is destiny
For rain to fall
For men to fall
For fall to fall
Anicca shows her face
Where is the escape?
We have three jewels
We have the four noble
We have the eightfold
To conceptualize is nothing
To realize is to not name
Swallow
With this kick up and down, where do we go to explore?
No more up right doors, outright locked, who are they for?
The language that we speak
Helps no one to learn
Well what words will win, oh to heaven I’ll find
That along the way we’ll all do our time
But to fetch the water with a holy pail
Won’t but make mud for the dirt to swallow
Folly of Men
What does man know of the buffalo’s strength, or the swiftness of the wild mustang?Can he fly like it is his right amongst the geese?No, we haven’t been given that purpose, yet we are deterred from being human.We are blessed with thought, rational and intelligence, But to what avail do we make use of it?Everything bigger and faster, so the ego gets slower and fatter. Do we live for material improvement only, judging others worth by their estate?The folly of man is that he has forgotten himselfWe have geniuses that contemplate the workings of engines,But they know not how they operate or by what means their minds are fueledThey majority have not contemplated the very thing that defines usWhy, just as easily the monkey swings from branch to branch,We should be able to rationalize our suffering and conclude them,It is known that we will all perish, but the time is unknownSo why haven’t the greatest men,The men who are given power from wealth, who invent miraculous products,Why haven’t they found the way in which to avoid suffering.It is not these men who are wise, for they seek the answer on paperAll men must know that what we all search forWas given to us at birth, but slowly buried among the discarded yearsThe human ability to defy ignorance is the purpose in which we must fess up toOne day, one year, one life, means nothing in this evolutionAnd although some strive to ease the pain of others.Ultimately, we must search ourselves for the cure to life
Most people don't know they move their own feet. If you do you might end up going where you want to be...
Read: A comparative study of Buddhism and Christianity by: Fumio Masutani
“The Buddha started on his way when he observed human suffering. On recalling his miserable existence burdened with fourfold bitterness of birth, old age, sickness, and death, he remarked that the pride of his youth instantly vanished and the pleasure of his life totally collapsed. However, Buddha was not a weakling such as succumbs to grief. He could not think of turning his eyes from the bitterness of life to the ephemeral sweetness of futility. He never thought of seeking salvation in a “blind state of self-complacency in ignorance.” He faced human sorrow with unflinching eyes, and endeavored to unravel its mystery with the fortitude of his reasoning power. The conclusion he subsequently reached was very pessimistic: “All is suffering.”Nevertheless, he, instead of escaping from the sorrowful life with eyes shut, tried to pry out the secret of such sorrow with eyes wide open. A way opened itself thereupon. This was the fourfold truth of suffering, its cause, its cessation, and practice.”
Read: The Empty Mirror by: Janwillem van de Wetering
“In India a hermit was meditating on the shore of a river when he was disturbed by a young man. The young man knelt down and said: “Master, I want to become your disciple.” “Why?” asked the master. “Because I want to find God.”The master jumped up, took the young man by the scruff of the neck, dragged him to the river and pushed his head under water. After a minute the master released the young man and pulled him out of the river. The young man spat out some of the water which he got in his mouth and began to cough. After a while he became quite. “What did you want most of all while I kept you under water?” asked the master. “Air,” said the young man. “Very well,” the master said. “Go back to wherever you have come from, and come back to me when you want God as much as you wanted air just now.”
October 2, 2004
The following are Text Messages I recieved on this day:
From: Jhoke
What’s going on? I don’t understand you. What are you doing? What are you trying to tell me? Are you dating Carol? If yes then is this how you’re telling me so? Why did you have to try that hard? Just tell me you’re dating her and I’ll get the fuck out of your life. I felt hurt and humiliated. I thought you liked me from the way you approached me and the way you looked at me. Maybe I’m a fool for feeling that way. But now I feel like you’re a coward for not telling me about Carol, feel like you’re a liar for mentioning her as a friend. I knew about her all along from the start but I hanged in there cos I wasn’t sure about your relationship with her. Now from what I saw today, I think she’s more than a friend. I feel like a third wheel.
From: Jhoke
I’m so jealous because you’re so sweet together. Where should I be? Why do you want to keep me or just because it makes you feel good to have someone being crazy about you? I like you a lot. I even told my friend about you. She asked what if you want to keep both Caroll and me and I said I’ll go with it. But now I’m not so sure because 3 wheels may work but only if all the wheels have honesty with eachother. I like you a lot and I’m seeing anybody else. But I had to leave to for a friend because I can’t seeing you and her that way.
From: Jhoke
Now I don’t know what to do. I wish I can turn cold shoulder, but I don’t wanna do that and I can’t.
To Jhoke: Just woke up. I am sorry that you are hurt but how was I supposed to know, I only see you as a friend because I do not like guys that way, I’m sorry if you thought differently- can we just be friends?
From: JhokeDeal! Feeling much better now. So I’ve been a jerk the whole time. But that’s good to know really. This is very embarrassing. If you tell anyone I’ll fucking kill you!
To Jhoke: Mai ben rai.
Me and Jason talked it over and he is officially crazy. This is me and Jason’s view of the story.
Joke had asked if I wanted to go eat somewhere and I agreed. But I didn’t tell him I was going to bring along Jason and Carol, which since I thought we were just friends then this would be no problem. So we decided to meet somewhere and when we met up he seemed fine with it and he and carol had met before so they talked as me and Jason walked behind them until we got to the restaurant. First off, to inform you me and Carol are just friends and even Jason agreed we were acting just as friends do. But it was obvious that Joke was delirous in his own passions and assumed things that made his feelings worse, I mean I hardly paid attention to Carol that whole night, I sat next to Joke at dinner and Jason sat next to Carol. We were just a group of friends hanging out with no woes whatsoever, or so I thought. There really was no indication that Joke liked me before and I am mad that he would just assume that I knew, I mean how can you assume something like that. We had met when I arrived in Thailand because he worked in the international office and I saw him a lot. He’s a cool Thai guy, and funny and showed me and Jason around our first weeks here. So I kept stopping in to say hi and see if he wanted to get lunch and just normal friendly relationships. He is 25 and had graduated with a computer engineering degree, and speaks perfect English. So we had known each other for a while and although I had heard some vague rumor that he was gay, I really paid no attention to it because people throw gay around so much you don’t know what to make of it. I mean I have met some gay guys in the past and they all are nice but you know that they are gay. Joke on the other hand, as far as I could tell, was far from gay because he randomly made heterosexual references, as most guys do. So I didn’t even slightly suspect it, although I don’t assess the sexual preference of every one I meet. They are what they are, I never would have thought that I had a gay friend they could be attracted me. So that was where my problem started, I suppose. So we are now enjoying the dinner, with all the normal conversation. We finish and try to decide where to go next, it had started raining so walking anywhere was out of the question. I suggested we go to Central, a big shopping mall, and play some video games just to pass the time. They all were ok with that so we took a taxi over there. We got to the games floor and played a few games, got split up and were on our own for a bit. When I found Carol and Jason they said that Joke had left to go see a friend. This seemed a bit odd that he would just leave and not say anything to me, but I didn’t make much of it and shrugged it off. We walked around some more and then decided to go back home because we really had nothing to do. And that was it, that was the extent of the evening. Now how do those messages relate to this, well that’s exactly it. He seems to be living in denial about something and I guess he felt betrayed that I didn’t talk to him more or spend more time with him. He was more than likely jealous that I didn’t come on to him any way. I really don’t know but it was obvious that he had some mental lapse and just wanted to tell me how he felt. So I don’t blame him at all but his messages attacked me personally and there was anger in his tone. This mad me mad a bit, because he never made any reference to liking me and never came on to me as far as I could tell, so he just assumed I knew and if I knew then why was I acting the way I was. That’s what happens when you assume I guess, you make an ASS out of U and ME. After I read the messages I was shocked and flustered, I didn’t know what to think, if he was playing some sick joke or not. But I showed Jason and he said that Moo, one of our friends and Joke’s close friend, told him that Joke was gay and that he liked me. Whoha! Hold on a second, Jason knew and he never hinted to me about it, man did I feel out of the loop. But it really has nothing to do with Jason so he is safe on this one. Now that I look back and try to figure this out, I can see that he did have his ways of showing that he liked me. I mean he always wanted to get lunch or dinner with me, he just wanted to come over to hang out and “see” me, and that one time he took my shoes home instead of his own. So yeah if I look at it as he is gay then yeah it might seem that he liked me, but I just thought he was a friend that wanted to hang out and we got along well. Now I have to face the awkwardness of talking to him like none of this happened. It’s hard but I think we can just be friends, dang what is it with me….
October 9, 2004
I can’t help but feel that sometimes when I go outside into the city of Bangkok that I am not actually outside at all. It is a strange feeling; it is not the normal feeling of open air and trees, the feeling of being outside. There is so much concrete and buildings and overpasses that you feel continually boxed in, not to the point of claustrophobia, but as if I was in a large container. It is like the feeling of walking into a huge cave, where you know you are walled in by rocks, but feel the emptiness of the space as something vast. It is this feeling but in reverse. You are actually outside, no doubt, but the outdoors are nowhere to be seen. You walk down the sidewalk, with roads to the side of you and on top of you, with rare glimpses of the sky. But this still feels as though you are not quite outside. You are in some weird transmission from a smaller building, where the walls are closer to you, to a larger space that can’t really be classified as the outdoors as there are walls still surrounding you. Bangkok has this feeling eighty percent of the time and I sometimes have to travel out of the city to feel like I’m outside. As much as I love nature, I can put up with this feeling, simply because it’s new and interesting. There does come a point where frustration and all the loud noises peak and I must get out of this giant shopping mall, Bangkok.
October 21 – 26
Phuket, an island really down south, is the setting for the largest vegetarian festival in Thailand. It lasts 9 days and started on 13 of October. This, I have to say, is my favorite time. Throughout Thailand as a whole, many places hang up banners and have special dishes just for this time of year, where most Buddhist strictly observe the precepts and eat a vegetarian diet for the 9 days. In Bangkok there are many stalls and street vendors selling special vegetarian foods, and I was excited to try as much as I could while it lasted. The banners are yellow with red writing, this symbolizes that they sell veg food, so this was aim, wherever there were banners I could order anything and not have to worry about what was in it. So Phuket is the place where they have the most interesting spectacles in all of Thailand. I had read that they have parades with men testing and ‘purifying’ themselves by walking over hot coals and piercing their faces with large bamboo poles. Naturally, I couldn’t hold myself back from going to see this festival with my own eyes.Another thing I must tell, Meaghan decided to come and visit me and I said it would be alright, I mean I wanted her too as she wanted to see me too. So it was decided that she would come and spend a few weeks with me during the time of my birthday. So I planned this trip to Phuket as I would have to miss a few days of classes, but it was also during a week where we had a 3 day weekend due to King Rama V’s death anniversary which lies on the same day as my birthday, Oct 23. Meaghan arrived the 16th, the same day that I got back from a art and architecture class trip to several Khmer temples, one being slightly in Cambodia. So I got back at around 9pm and then had to get to the airport at around 11:30 to pick up Meaghan. Ok so she’s here now.We left to go to Phuket at around 7pm on Thursday the 21st, in a ‘VIP’ bus which was pretty nice and we were able to tolerate the long trip of 14 some odd hours. Once we arrived in the area the bus stopped at Surat Thani, a province 4 hours away from the island itself. We got transferred to a ‘minibus’, which was just an uncomfortable van that fit about 10 people plus the driver. So this bus headed towards Phuket and we arrived in the central town of Phuket at about noon on Friday. This place was the ‘travel agency’ that would take us in the van to wherever we were going, which I didn’t know…I wanted to stay in Phuket town for a day to see the festivals, but the lady said that that would be expensive and most of the hotels are already booked. So she suggested Patong beach, which is where most of the tourists go, and they have cheap places to stay. She suggested renting a moped to ride into town at night to see the festival. It seemed our options were limited so we just went with the flow and paid the extra 100B to get to Patong beach, and we would see what happens from there. We got dropped off at a place on the map the lady said had cheap accommodations, we walked down the nearest alley and to the end to a place called “Touch Villa”. We asked about a room, and it was 300B a night, so that’s pretty cheap; we decided to unload our stuff there and get the room. After dropping our stuff off we walked around the area, which was highly developed for tourists. There were tons of bars on every street, along with the standard ‘Thai’ shop for souvenirs. We got to the beach in about 4mins and were bombarded with people trying to sell us things such as renting a jet ski, parasailing, and even renting a lounge chair on the beach. Walking down the beach, it was nice to see sand and water and palm/coconut trees, but there were too many boats and jet skis in the water for it to be relaxing. We walked for a bit then headed back and I stopped at a place to rent a scooter. It took me a while to get the cheapest price, and my Thai came in handy, especially when they realized I was from Thammasat, so they gave me a ‘manual’ bike for 150B for 24hrs. The manual is clutchless, you just have to shift with your foot, and it was a 125cc, if I can remember correctly. I was a bit nervous driving around on real roads with the Thai, but I got the hang of it, just go wherever you can go and try not to get hurt. We only had one helmet, for it is only required for the driver to wear one, so I drove causelessly, at first. We settled back to the Touch Villa, and took a rest for a bit, and by this time it was getting late so we headed toward Phuket town where the festival would be going on and we could get some good vegetarian food. We got on the motorcycle and I triple checked the map I had on how to get to the town, the road signs were hard to read and very ambiguous in the direction they were pointing. I drove around and up and down the mountains and around the sharp curves and finally made it to the general area of the town. I didn’t know exactly where to go, but we saw a lot of people wearing white (as is the custom for the vegetarian festival), so we followed them to a Chinese temple, where there was stalls lined down the street selling all sorts of vegetarian goodies. I parked the bike and we walked around and center was the temple with kids shooting off fire crackers and many people making offerings. This area had a good feel about it, fused with vegetarian energy and merrymaking, it sharply instilled in me a surreal feeling of finally being outside Bangkok for one, and also the amazing realization of where I am…Thailand. We walked and took several pictures, grabbed some snacks from various vendors and then decided to check out other parts of the town. We got on and followed some more white clothed cyclists to the southern tip of the town, which backs up to a the ocean, alongside the harbor and bay area. There was another Chinese temple, this one was more out in the open, and only 200 yards from the beach. There were many people here also, and there was a gathering around the front of the temple, so me and meg went to check it out. We managed to get into viewing distance, as many locals were smiling at us and allowing for us to get closer and see the ‘Thai’ ways and traditions. There was a large pole in the center, made from a coconut tree, which people were stacking on top of. There was a small to large arrangement of them, from a small kid of only 2 or 3 years old to a large and bulky man supporting all the weight at the bottom. They had climbed to the top of the pole and were sitting on top of each others shoulders, 5 in all, and we watched the whole process in the silent tension of the whole crowd. After the feat was accomplished they slowly reversed the process and all got down safe and without incident. Next there was the youngest kid, and a 20 year old, climbing to the top and preparing for another trick. We watched and the kid was raised to the top and the guy spun around and did a few aerobatics, then dropped the kid off the pole! With a gasp of us onlookers we then saw he had tied a rope to his ankle and the boy was stopped a foot or two before hitting the people below, it was a crowd teaser and everyone sighed in relief, the kid was pulled back up and then he waved to the applauding crowd, ha, it certainly made me jump a bit. After this, the crowd disbanded and walked toward the beach where there were men in a long Chinese dragon, and they paraded along with fire spitting out of the paper dragons mouth and danced with the background drumbeat. All these festivities were definitely exciting but didn’t compare to the parade that came later. After it seemed like there was no more events we went back to the bike and headed down the main road back to town. There were many people parked and sitting along side the road, so we figured that the parade would be going down this road. We found a good spot and parked along the other 500 motorbikes to get a good view. It was about 9is then, and we sat around for awhile without anything really going on. Everyone had fireworks, they were selling them all along side the road, and even little kids were lighting them off and throwing them at each other. It was a kind of waiting for the parade and everyone was having fun trying to scare their friends and random people by covertly dropping a lit firecracker by the feet of the victim and walking away with a grin awaiting the “Pop! Pop-pop!” and accompanying screams. This happened a few times to me and Meaghan, as we thought would because there were only a few foreigners to be seen, so we did stick out a bit. It was good fun and all and we were amused watching everyone trying to get each other. Though it did hurt, there were like the wildcats, or little TNT fireworks, and they were loud too. These went on for about an hour and a half until the parade started coming down the street. Now we didn’t really have a clue what was going to happen, I had read that they perform feats of pain to ‘purify’ themselves and had seen pictures of people with rods through their faces so I was half expecting something gruesome. When the first group of people came by, about 12, they were marching half naked while everyone in the crowds of people threw fireworks at them! They walked normally while the explosions took place all over their bodies and we could barely see the people behind the fiery mass around them. This was the loudest part, our ears were constantly ringing and, I being close to the street so to get good pictures, felt some of the explosions and some wandering firecrackers that were thrown poorly. These groups of people came in groups ever 5 minutes or so and there were little stations where they were burning incense and had tea and other things for the people to stop and eat at to get refreshed, but this didn’t stop people from still throwing firecrackers at them. This went on for about an hour and finally towards the end a mass of people came down the street and everyone knelt down and stopped the madness for a bit, following them was a truck with bright lights and music playing. After they had passed I took a look at the streets and they were covered with red paper and debris from the explosions. There were still a few people trickling by and the excitement dwindled with a few ‘Pop-Pop’s here and there. We were pretty tired by then and it was about 11:30 so we hopped on the bike and cruised out of there avoiding people still throwing their remaining fireworks in the road. The smoke of the festivities still lingered and it created a warm glow that easily looked how I felt inside. We scooted out of town into the darkness of the outskirts and back through the hills to another glow of our brightly lit beach. Once we arrived back to our hut, the whole day of traveling and bus riding finally caught up with us and we were beat. By then it was past 12 and Meaghan wished me a happy birthday and we fell asleep in the hut on the island of Phuket, Thailand.The following days we did a lot. The rented bike got good use, and we also got some good sunburn. Saturday we took the bike around the southern tip of the island to the zoo, at first, but the price was 500B to see some cruelly trained animals do tricks and this wasn’t what we had hoped. So we continued down the road in the glairing sun with the salty air breathing for us, we went to Phromthep Cape, where there was a “view point” with an amazing view. We were on an outcropping elevated above some hundred meters, and we could see the rocky coast and some further islands. There were lots of little shops catering to tourists and Meaghan found some selling pearls, and they were extremely cheap since we were getting them closer to the source, she bought a shiny round strand for 400B, about $10 but would probably easily sell for over a hundred American dollars. From there we continued up the coast and decided we needed to jump into the ocean to cool off so we followed signs to Kata Noi Beach. We go to the beach area which was mainly undeveloped and we enjoyed some peace in the crystal clear waters, where you could be up to your neck and still see the hairs on your toes, if you have hair on your toes; you could see Meaghan’s foot tattoo clearly. On the beach were a couple of tourists and one lay walking around topless, me and meg couldn’t help but look and laugh a bit at the spectacle. After we cooled off we drove back north up the coast to our beach and I had to return the bike by 4pm. So after we dropped off the bike we went back to our place and rested a bit then went to get some food and my “birthday dinner”, I had Pat Thai of course and we got some….you guessed it, fried bananas with ‘honey flavored syrup’. Meg paid for us and it was a birthday I wont forget, simply because I got to share my Thailand experience with Meaghan on my 21st birthday, I really don’t feel any older, if anything I feel younger. Well after we ate we just walked around and enjoyed the sights and avoiding the people trying to sell us fake designer bags and sunglasses. We went to bed to see what the next day would bring. It was Sunday morning and we had agreed to move up north to a quieter beach and see more of the island. We checked out and paid 600B total for 2 nights. We walked out and down the street with a faint idea that we wanted to go to Bang Thao Beach. We walked and then just kept walking out of the town and down the road leading towards that beach, I knew it was far but had no idea how long it would take to get there. We walked up hills and around the coast and kept walking with little rests here and there. After about an hour and a half Meaghan had to really use the bathroom, we were really on an unpopulated road and I didn’t know what to suggest except to just go in the trees behind a rock or something, so we walked a bit more but she decided to be one with nature and just go. So after she came back out of the forest we walked for about 30 seconds and saw a small restaurant across the street with a bathroom behind it, ha, so we laughed at this but all was good, it worked out anyway. So we continued walking some more and after 2 hours of walking I checked the map and we were almost halfway there. This got a little tiring for the both of us, as I was carrying both of our backpacks. So eventually a nice local pulled over and asked where we were going and I said the area, and it turned out that’s where they lived and took us to the cheapest bungalow on the beach. We thanked him and it turned out he was a private taxi driver anyway and he gave us his card but didn’t charge us anything. We went to the front desk and got the rate of 400B a night, for it was the end of the low season. We were feeling the walk and just collapsed on the bed for a while, then took to the beach. I also wanted to rent a motorbike in this area but all the places were expensive. We walked down the small road a bit, where there was really nothing, a few shops and 2 restaurants in the whole area. We waked by a sign that said bike for rent and I asked a guy about it, he said to come back in an hour but the rate was 250B for a day, which was 100B more than yesterday. We decided to walk further but about 3 minutes later the guy we had just talked to came zooming up in a shiny new white Honda with the contract and all, so I just agreed and we hopped on and took off leaving the guy to walk back. I had to find a place to get gas as he gave us the bike with it on Empty. So after I filled up for 80B we toured the unpopulated areas, with many water buffalo and rice patties and local shacks and towns. I got lost a bit, and it was hard to find our way back to our secluded beach but I eventually found it. We parked the bike and went for a dip in the ocean and rested on the beach. We got cleaned up and took the bike again to find a place to eat because all the ones close by were extremely expensive, for tourists, but it was hard to find vegetarian anywhere so we decided on a western style place in a town up the road, Meaghan had spaghetti and I had fried rice with vegetables. By this time it was night and the air was much cooler, it felt good to ride the bike and follow the curves of the road by the small light on the front of our bike. I know now that I have to get a motorcycle when I get back, I love that feeling and before I even rode I knew I’d love it, it’s the feeling that the driver and the “outside” are one, or that you are not separated or “shielded” from reality - and it was even amplified with Meaghan holding on to me and trusting me with her life, ha! I don’t think she had ever rode on one before and she was scared for the first day or so, but I think she ended up enjoying it just as much as I did. After getting back from riding around, it was dark, and we just enjoyed being where we were, I found that it was so relaxing that I wanted to sleep, and so we did. The next day we followed my big cartoon tourist map to a national park on the island, where there was a waterfall and gibbon rehabilitation center. It took a good 20 minutes to get there, but it was all country scenery and the sun created another perfect day. We got to the park, had to pay 200B each, and drove along a small curvy road that was lined with deep green trees which dropped shade on us (greatly lowing the outside temperature), and the tropical forest was slowly becoming evident. We parked the bike in the lot, and walked up to the Gibbon Rehabilitation center. A guy and a girl, obviously not thai, greeted us in English. They were volunteering in that program from wherever they were from, England or Australia, and explained what the project was all about. The gibbons are protected animals for they were slowly becoming extinct due to people wanting them as pets or show animals. They would often kill whole families just to get the babies, which were then easier to train and adapt to being around humans, but also being in a cage. Many people would take them around for tourists to get their pictures taken with them, and this is one of the many problems that plagues the program today…anyway a gibbon is a primate, you know a monkey, in case you were wondering. We got the basic tour and got to see some of them energetically swinging back and fourth and running about in their cages up along the hillside, where they would progress and be introduced into a “gibbon family” and eventually be released back in the wild. Me and Meg got matching t-shirts and then followed the hiking trail up the mountain to see the main waterfall. It was really humid, as you can imagine in a tropical forest, but it was a good kind of sweat, or at least I thought so. The jungle ignites something in me, and I couldn’t help but stop and stare at the long green bamboo along the trail. With the long vines and meandering tree stumps I contemplated swinging from branch to branch while beating on my chest, I wanted to find some bananas most of all, and prove that I could survive in these here woods. But we continued on dodging fallen trees and overhanging spiky things. Alas we reached the cool mist of the falling waterfall!, well it wasn’t so impressive but certainly a site to see. It fell into a clear pool, where rocks pushed its flow back down the mountain. There were people sitting about, and some swimming in the area. The trail continued up the mountain, but I was unsure weather it was a trail at all because no one else really seemed to be going further. Then we saw two people grab a hold and just go up my suspected trail, so we followed them, hoping that if it the trail would suddenly fall off a cliff, they would go screaming down and we would therefore be warned. But, this never happened and it just relentlessly went onward and we were just consumed in forest. It got to the point were we would have to just turn around because further wondering would just increase the time to get back and it had already be over an hour. It looked the same in front of us as it did behind, deep green with sparkles of sun filtering through the high bamboo leaves and elder trees. I had half expected to see some “wildlife”, you know monkeys or maybe even a tiger as I had read the park does contain a good population of them, but the most we saw was a backing lizard that was soon frightened away. We trekked back down the mountain and this is where I got to try some branch swinging, as they helped me get down the more steeper parts. We eventually got back to where we had parked the motorbike, and decided to eat at the little open air restaurant, also right at the bottom. After this I headed out and back to the country road, but still heading north, but the road curved around and I had planned to stop at a Wat of some recognition, as it was colorfully noted on my map. It was Wat Phra Thong which according to my guide book: “Wat Phra Thong is built around an unusual gold-leaf Buddha image, half buried in the ground. Legend says that whoever tries to remove it will die.” So we entered into the monastery, which had the same calm atmosphere as most did, but with a tropical sent of course. The sun was still beaming and we were ever the more sunburned. We walked to the Wihan (main building where the Buddha image was situated) and took observance of the few practitioners there. We walked in and looked around, and I took special note of Meaghan’s reactions as I think it was the first temple she had been in. I think she felt uncomfortable a bit, but was secure in knowing that I was relaxed as it really is not a problem for anyone to just walk in. The temples are for the people, and though people get down on their knees in some areas and it is sacred, it has a welcoming feel and you are supposed to feel safe. It did take me awhile, after I first got here, to realize this and after talking with Thais, they don’t mind foreigners, or rather tourists, at all coming in as long as they are respectful and not boisterous or distracting. After leaving the Wihan, we walked around the other buildings and bought popsicles from a lady, she was quite the savior as she offered some weapon to attack the encroaching heat. We sat in the shade and ate them, but we had to do it quickly because they melted easily in the tropical air. After feeling cleansed and replenished, we hoped on the white Honda and headed back to Bang Thao Beach. The road that goes in front of our bungalow continues past to open fields and water buffalo, knowing that I had two more hours until I had to return the bike, I kept going past the entrance down the road. I didn’t really know where we were going, but I just wanted to keep riding, and we got turned around with the farmland and rising land in the background. We had been riding for a bit and I was looking for a way to go back when there was a random bout of rain, just falling out of the clear blue sky. This lasted for 5 minutes or so, then back to the regular heat, except you could feel the water evaporating from the black road underneath us. Then as we were coming around a corner, the bike slowly started going in a direction that I didn’t want it to go, mainly out from under us. It just tipped and slid out from under us on the newly slick road. We were left sliding on pavement as the bike went slightly further across the other lane, luckily I had been only going about 30 miles an hour and we were able to stand up, but not without being slightly confused as to what had just happened. We checked ourselves, and noted the left sides of our bodies where we had made contact: no profuse bleeding, able to move without significant pain, all extremities still attached…check, check , check. I headed for the bike while Meaghan picked up our scattered items that had been in the front basket of the bike. It took me awhile to get it in neutral and wheel it out of the way, all the while people were yelling at us to hurry up and get out of the road, ahh the frustrations of tourists. I looked around, although still flustered, I noticed a family just staring at us, and then checked the bike for any damage. Nope all parts still there, hop on Meaghan – zoom, and we were down the road again with the wind stinging our recently acquired souvenirs. Meaghan got the brunt of it, or maybe I was just wearing more clothes than her, but she had arm, elbow, knee, and multiple toe damage, while I just had scrapes on my elbow and arm, and some road rash on my back/shoulder, she toughed it out though and I was proud of her. Although the responsibility had finally hit me and I couldn’t help but feel awful and guilty for it, even though I hadn’t been totally reckless I still felt it could have been avoided, but, they say experience is the best teacher. We managed to find the way back to our hut and we attended to our wounds. I went out and tried to clean up the bike a bit, and I knew he would notice the scratches because it was a brand new bike. The front fender had a noticeable, but not hideous, scratch the revealed the black plastic under the white paint. The left handle bar had scratched along the pavement, so metal was worn off a bit there, and the mirror had tiny scratches on the back plastic. Other than that it was fine, and I thought there would have been more damage. Then I finally decided to take it back, wondering what the leaser would say or even notice. He was waiting when me and Meaghan pulled up, just down the street from where we were staying. We stepped off and then he took few looks at the bike. He said “did you have and accident”, “nid noi” I said, which means just a little. He had a frown on his face, and one of his friends came and joined us. He began assessing the damage and how much it would cost him to get fixed, but really the bike was fine the way it was and there was no harm done, honestly. But he still insisted, he said in addition to the 250B rental, he wanted 500B more. We went on for a few minutes, with me persuading him that I didn’t have all that money any how. I explained how the accident happened, and no other people were involved. All the while more locals began gathering, an older man, which I perceived to be a relative of the leaser who by the way was a young guy probably 24 or so. They had discussions in Thai that I was able to get pieces from and interject a “may dai” (I can’t) or “sam sip dai mai?”…offering him 300 total. The old man persuaded talked to him more, and it seemed to be a deep discussion because they had also noticed the injuries which we had incurred, and I think the elder thought that these were enough payment for the scratches on the bike, but anyhow, I made a final offer of 400 and he reluctantly took it, the total sum of $10, which included the rental fee. So I was down a few hundred but it didn’t cause too much of a problem, and although I did fee bad I thought that he would still be able to make money renting the bike with or without the scratches. The old man made us too shake hands in the end, and the dispute was finished. I walked away grinning at the whole situation and I think Meaghan just didn’t follow the whole argument but was glad it was over. We walked back to our bungalow and took our towels to the beach to lay down and absorb the day. We wanted to go in the water but our open wounds would only allow 5 minutes or so until the pain surpassed the enjoyment of the warm water. We rested on the beach some and then took a walk looking for shells and such. We found 3 “wild” hermit crabs, “wild” because I had never seen them on any beach before, not even back home. Meaghan picked some good shells and even found a really cool one, a spiral with spikes but a few minutes later with it in her hand it started moving around, ha, it turned out to be another hermit crab and she had just not noticed. On the way back I found a plastic bottle and was able to get some sand and find another hermit crab and take him back to our room. He’s a small guy, with a grey and dark red swirly shell. We got our stuff together and agreed that we would leave tomorrow, and head back to Bangkok.The next day, Tuesday Oct 25, we ate breakfast at our resort and then checked out of the front desk. The lady was kind enough to ask where we were going and how we would get there. I told her we were headed to Phuket town to the main bus station. She hollered to the back a got us a ride to the main road where we could take the local “bus” to Phuket town, about 20 minutes away. I say “bus” because it was just a large truck with the back having 2 benches on either side and also a permanent wooden canopy. It cost us 40B to get to the station where it took a while, but I got us tickets for second class back to Bangkok for 389B each. It was about 12:30 or so and the bus didn’t leave until 4:20, so we had a lot of time for a lot of nothing. We walked around outside then after that got too hot, we went to a café up stairs and sat for an hour or so. Then we checked our bags with the lady, so we could go get some real food before we got on the bus. We walked down the street, then found a decent cheap place and filled up for the long bus ride home. We managed to get back just on time and hopped on the bus at 4:20, where we were quickly placed in the last row, and I noticed we were the only foreigners. The bus was filled up to capacity, and we even picked up random people who had to fill the bed in the back and one old man had to sit on a stool in the middle of the aisle. On the way back we stop at several “rest stops” where we can go to the bathroom and also buy small snacks and drinks. At one of the stops, at about 1 in the morning, I went to the 7-11 to get stuff, it didn’t take long, but as I was coming out the bus was already pulling out so I ran and knocked on the door just in time, and they let me in and I took my seat in the back where Meaghan had wide eyes wondering if I would be lost forever or not. This was the only happening worth mentioning on the way back, besides the intermittent sleep and bumps it was a fairly normal ride. We got back to Bangkok at around 6:30am Weds. morning. We took another city bus for 5 minutes back to my apartment, woke up Jason while coming in but then we went to sleep. It was hard to readjust due to the morning hours and Bangkok atmosphere. I still have that hermit crab, I wonder if he can make it back to America?, well that is another saga to be continued.
November 12, 2004
I saw a strange thing this day, it is graphic, but worth mentioning. Apparently a male dog was trying to mate with a female, and they had somehow ended up backwards. Now…hear me out on this one. They were in the middle of the sidewalk and several other people were staring at the conundrum, so don’t take me as a pervert or anything of the like. Ok, so the female was lying on her back, with all fours up in the air. For directional purposes lets say her head was facing south, ok got it? Female, on back, all fours in the air, facing south. The male was standing, quite awkwardly, facing NORTH, over the lower half of the female, with his…um…organ inside her organ…struggling to get it out. So basically he was trying to escape by hopping, but he was stuck inside while the female just lay there bouncing about. Now to make it even stranger, another male (dog, just to clarify) was sticking his snout in that area in conflict, and the two males were growling at each other showing their threatening teeth. So, yeah, it just doesn’t happen in the human world anymore, dogs too are being caught “in the act” while having an affair. Just a beautiful mental picture of the Bangkok I see everyday.
Hey, i recently met the owner and operater of this site: http://www.happycow.org . He was in one of my favorite vegetarian resturants here in bangkok and we got to talking and he goes around the world looking for vegetarian resturants...check out the site. it has lots of good info!...P.S. i will be updating with some better entries that are saved on my laptop soon...
Thursday, October 07, 2004
I was just asked by Jason (my roommate) about this “Save The Humans organization” that he saw me looking at on the internet. “What are they about, what is their objective?” he said, and it really quite numbed me because I don’t know what it is about at all. I just said that I really don’t know what their purpose is, just trying to improve human life and helping people see the world in a different light I suppose. I did not feel that it was in me to tell him that it is my website or that it had to anything to do with me at all, because I don’t see it as something that I do. I think that these words help me just as much as anyone else who reads them. Would I be wrong to say ‘yeah it’s my website and I write a lot, you should check it out sometime’? This just feels weird for me and I never have really promoted myself in such a manner before and wasn’t about to, this is me for anyone who knows me. I would rather remain nameless and unrecognized than to be put up on stage for people to praise or to criticize. So I have never been asked this directly before, where I had to contemplate a purpose or the meaning of Save The Humans. What I simply try to do help others, offer a word or some piece of mind that there is something that we all share. We all have this knowledge but some of us are not ready to see it, while others are momentarily distracted. I, too, am on this search and just relay stories and insights that have come to me and need to be passed along and written down for my own improvement. I even feel comfortable saying that there really is no purpose at all, it is what it is, and if I tried I would never make any sense at all and wouldn’t be human. It just is.
I have this head full of ideas and beautiful things and I want to write them down but when it comes time to sit in front of the screen and flow all these thoughts and images through my fingers into the key board then on to the screen, I look at what I have written and think well that’s not it at all, not even close. And I can’t try hard enough because none of it can come close to what’s flying through my head second by second and I just feel there is no point in trying because the words can never be what is actually there, no matter how hard I try they can’t add up to satisfy me. And by the time I coherently put a sentence together that I am alright with, so much more has come and gone and slipped through my filtering net that it seems that no one can ever know the extent of a galloping mind. No one can relate how their butterfly flies. No one can fully share the feeling of the inspiring wind sweeping through the wheat fields of the mind. No one can explain the miracles that sprout instantaneously within their own blood brain barrier. These vessels can never fully escape without somehow being dismantled and broken down, so we don’t know what piece went where and can never properly relate their original construction. This is the mountain that deters me every time, but yet I strive to conquer it.
Walking Meditation in a Buddhist Mind
We must keep in mind that the first step to walking must not be influenced by purpose. If indeed we have a destination let the destination come to you rather than going to it and missing the ten thousand things in between. The virtue that must be focused upon, and is in fact the essence of walking, is mindfulness. Why do we do the things we do, if we really do them at all. We do not beat our hearts or grow our hair, it is just a function of our being. However, one of the main concepts of Buddhism is the realization of non-self (anatta). For those not familiar with these concepts, it can be broken down to simple grasping, grasping at the world and at ourselves as beings. For we must realize that this grasping is indeed the cause of all our suffering and disharmony (dukkha). Walking anywhere at anytime can be a type of meditation. It is the practice of mindfulness, insight, and non-self. With every step we can cultivate a tranquil mind, be one with the world around us, be “awakened” to reality, and not feel any suffering or attachment. And how do we do this you might ask. Well I can but only relate my own experiences from walking and knowledge of the dharma as I have learned in my short but insightful studies. So here we go, out on a walk and what is it that we are actually thinking, are we just buying time until we get there? Isn’t this just a waste of life, still living in ignorance and dwelling introvertly amongst our own problems, problems which really don’t exist at all. To be mindful is to know reality, to hear and see what is actually going on without your interpretation. Once we interpret something, some action, in terms of ‘I’ then it is not actually that ‘thing’ anymore. So this walking is entangled with the observing of all natural phenomena, through the faces of passing people or the breeze that kisses you. Once we are able to notice these things around us, the happenings as it were, we can start on the path of being mindful. I like to place my consciousness in my feet and toes, instead of the blackness behind my eyes and between my ears. For are my feet not as aware as my eyes? This is another way of looking at things, and there is really no direct way of doing it, it is simply feeling just as conscious in the every movement of my feet as every thought in my head. Now we are getting somewhere, and it is amazing how much we can learn through this new perspective. If you are able to walk without noticing yourself than you are simply free, in all sense of the word, moksha (liberation) from samsara (cycle of life and suffering, birth-suffering-death-rebirth). Although I do not want to oversimplify it. I wish to talk about walking merely as a tool to liberation, one of many. With walking we can meditate, be in the moment of every step and yet still have a direction in mind. I have felt many times that I have walked quickly, to where I needed to go, and then noticed that when I got there I feel cheated out of the amount of time it took me to arrive. Those fifteen minutes or so can be put to use, or as I like to feel we can actually live continuously instead of intermittently achieving goals and then setting new ones for the future. It is just like listening to music. We don’t start a song with the goal to finish it, we listen to it and enjoy every moment of it. While walking to somewhere we are acting out of mainly ego, as in we need to go somewhere to get this and do this. Our ego must be understood as something really quite non existent, and only a false sense of the world. So our goal is to forget that we ever knew it in the first place. This is one of the main reasons for meditation, it is contemplation of the things we think we know, but really don’t know at all. We can treat sitting meditation the same as walking or any other action we do. What I mean to say is that it is just like any other action we do, if we do them in right action, for the right reasons (no ‘I’ involved) then they are perfect in themselves. So walking is particularly beautiful when looked at in this sense, for when we set out somewhere we can never know what will happen or what we will see or who we may meet along the way. It is the discovery of the unknown and an adventure in itself. Traveling this way is a pure human action, and a defining a characteristic that I believe is loosing its tradition. We are slowing becoming much like the machines we create and are being controlled through automated processes, while loosing the human quality of life. If we can walk with human purity, loving the dust under our feet and emitting the radiance of non-self, then we can slowly understand that this moment is it, we have all that we need, and to grasp for more means to suffer more.
Unfinished
The world is blind and I am its seeing eye dog.
If I am as ignorant as I think, is that ignorance after all?
I say I want to escape into reality, but reality can never be escaped
It does have the answers and I have the questions, isn’t that fitting?
But can I be so bold as to listen for the answers,
When I know we can’t be taught that way
How can I invite change, but ask it to wait at the door,
Yet it does, watching me put on my shoes like I need to go somewhere
But after all we all live in the marshmallows of our own brain
Sitting on overstuffed skin
Watching through our eyes a movie of the world
Where do we go after the credits roll through?
Teachings of the Buddha compiled by Paul Carus.
“And the Bodhisatta went to the priests officiating in the temples. But the gentle mind of the Sakyamuni (Bodhisatta) was offended at the unnecessary cruelty performed on the altars of the gods. He said:
Ignorance only can make these men prepare festivals and hold vast meetings for sacrifices. Far better to revere the truth than to try to appease the gods by shedding blood.
What love can a man possess who believes that the destruction of life will atone for evil deeds? Can a new wrong expiate old wrongs! And can the slaughter of an innocent victim blot out the evil deeds of mankind? This is practicing religion by the neglect of moral conduct.
Purify your hearts and cease to kill; that is true religion.
Rituals have no efficacy; prayers are vain repetitions; and incantations have no saving power. But to abandon covetousness and lust, to become free from evil passions, and to give up all hatred and ill will, that is the right sacrifice and the true worship.”
“Though many births I sought in vain
The builder of this house of pain.
Now, builder, thee I plainly see!
This is the last abode for me.
Thy gable’s yoke and rafters broke,
My heart has peace. All lust will cease.”
“How blest in happy solitude
Are they who hear of truth the call!
How blest to be both kind and good,
To practice self-restraint to all!
How blest from passions to be free,
All sensuous joys to let pass by!
Yet highest bliss enjoyeth they
Who quit the pride of I am I.”
The Sermon on Abuse
The blessed one observed the ways of society and noticed how much misery came from malignity and foolish offences done only to gratify vanity and self-seeking pride.
And the Buddha said: “If someone foolishly does me wrong, I will return to that person the protection of my ungrudging love; the more evil comes from such a person, the more good shall go from me; the fragrance of goodness always comes to me, and the harmful air of evil goes to that person.”
A foolish man learning that the Buddha observed the principle of great love which commends the return of good for evil, came and abused him. The Buddha was silent, pitying his folly.
When the man had finished his abuse, the Buddha asked him, saying: “If a man declined to accept a present made to hi, to whom would it belong?” And he answered: “In that case it would belong to the man who offered it.”
The Buddha said, “You have railed at me, but I decline to accept your abuse, and request you keep it yourself. Wit it not be a source of misery to you? As the echo belongs to the sound, and the shadow to the substance, so misery will overtake the evildoer without fail.”
The abuser made no reply, and the Buddha continued: “An evil person who reproaches a virtuous one is like one who looks up and spits at heaven; the spittle soils not the heaven, but comes back and defiles the person.
“The slanderer is like one who flings dust at another when the wind is contrary; the dust does but return on the one who threw it. The virtuous cannot be hurt and the misery that the other would inflict comes back on the slanderer.”
The abuser went away ashamed, but he came again and took refute in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.
-------------
Much of Buddhism is universal, if you read these passages in the context of your own religion – Christianity to Islam- and take them to heart, then they can only do good and help you to your own spiritual goals. As I read much of the Buddhist scriptures and teachings it reminds me much of Jesus’ words and the parables in the bible. Yet it is the example that matters and how we take it in and relate it to our own life. There is wisdom in it all if you choose to look...
I have this head full of ideas and beautiful things and I want to write them down but when it comes time to sit in front of the screen and flow all these thoughts and images through my fingers into the key board then on to the screen, I look at what I have written and think well that’s not it at all, not even close. And I can’t try hard enough because none of it can come close to what’s flying through my head second by second and I just feel there is no point in trying because the words can never be what is actually there, no matter how hard I try they can’t add up to satisfy me. And by the time I coherently put a sentence together that I am alright with, so much more has come and gone and slipped through my filtering net that it seems that no one can ever know the extent of a galloping mind. No one can relate how their butterfly flies. No one can fully share the feeling of the inspiring wind sweeping through the wheat fields of the mind. No one can explain the miracles that sprout instantaneously within their own blood brain barrier. These vessels can never fully escape without somehow being dismantled and broken down, so we don’t know what piece went where and can never properly relate their original construction. This is the mountain that deters me every time, but yet I strive to conquer it.
Walking Meditation in a Buddhist Mind
We must keep in mind that the first step to walking must not be influenced by purpose. If indeed we have a destination let the destination come to you rather than going to it and missing the ten thousand things in between. The virtue that must be focused upon, and is in fact the essence of walking, is mindfulness. Why do we do the things we do, if we really do them at all. We do not beat our hearts or grow our hair, it is just a function of our being. However, one of the main concepts of Buddhism is the realization of non-self (anatta). For those not familiar with these concepts, it can be broken down to simple grasping, grasping at the world and at ourselves as beings. For we must realize that this grasping is indeed the cause of all our suffering and disharmony (dukkha). Walking anywhere at anytime can be a type of meditation. It is the practice of mindfulness, insight, and non-self. With every step we can cultivate a tranquil mind, be one with the world around us, be “awakened” to reality, and not feel any suffering or attachment. And how do we do this you might ask. Well I can but only relate my own experiences from walking and knowledge of the dharma as I have learned in my short but insightful studies. So here we go, out on a walk and what is it that we are actually thinking, are we just buying time until we get there? Isn’t this just a waste of life, still living in ignorance and dwelling introvertly amongst our own problems, problems which really don’t exist at all. To be mindful is to know reality, to hear and see what is actually going on without your interpretation. Once we interpret something, some action, in terms of ‘I’ then it is not actually that ‘thing’ anymore. So this walking is entangled with the observing of all natural phenomena, through the faces of passing people or the breeze that kisses you. Once we are able to notice these things around us, the happenings as it were, we can start on the path of being mindful. I like to place my consciousness in my feet and toes, instead of the blackness behind my eyes and between my ears. For are my feet not as aware as my eyes? This is another way of looking at things, and there is really no direct way of doing it, it is simply feeling just as conscious in the every movement of my feet as every thought in my head. Now we are getting somewhere, and it is amazing how much we can learn through this new perspective. If you are able to walk without noticing yourself than you are simply free, in all sense of the word, moksha (liberation) from samsara (cycle of life and suffering, birth-suffering-death-rebirth). Although I do not want to oversimplify it. I wish to talk about walking merely as a tool to liberation, one of many. With walking we can meditate, be in the moment of every step and yet still have a direction in mind. I have felt many times that I have walked quickly, to where I needed to go, and then noticed that when I got there I feel cheated out of the amount of time it took me to arrive. Those fifteen minutes or so can be put to use, or as I like to feel we can actually live continuously instead of intermittently achieving goals and then setting new ones for the future. It is just like listening to music. We don’t start a song with the goal to finish it, we listen to it and enjoy every moment of it. While walking to somewhere we are acting out of mainly ego, as in we need to go somewhere to get this and do this. Our ego must be understood as something really quite non existent, and only a false sense of the world. So our goal is to forget that we ever knew it in the first place. This is one of the main reasons for meditation, it is contemplation of the things we think we know, but really don’t know at all. We can treat sitting meditation the same as walking or any other action we do. What I mean to say is that it is just like any other action we do, if we do them in right action, for the right reasons (no ‘I’ involved) then they are perfect in themselves. So walking is particularly beautiful when looked at in this sense, for when we set out somewhere we can never know what will happen or what we will see or who we may meet along the way. It is the discovery of the unknown and an adventure in itself. Traveling this way is a pure human action, and a defining a characteristic that I believe is loosing its tradition. We are slowing becoming much like the machines we create and are being controlled through automated processes, while loosing the human quality of life. If we can walk with human purity, loving the dust under our feet and emitting the radiance of non-self, then we can slowly understand that this moment is it, we have all that we need, and to grasp for more means to suffer more.
Unfinished
The world is blind and I am its seeing eye dog.
If I am as ignorant as I think, is that ignorance after all?
I say I want to escape into reality, but reality can never be escaped
It does have the answers and I have the questions, isn’t that fitting?
But can I be so bold as to listen for the answers,
When I know we can’t be taught that way
How can I invite change, but ask it to wait at the door,
Yet it does, watching me put on my shoes like I need to go somewhere
But after all we all live in the marshmallows of our own brain
Sitting on overstuffed skin
Watching through our eyes a movie of the world
Where do we go after the credits roll through?
Teachings of the Buddha compiled by Paul Carus.
“And the Bodhisatta went to the priests officiating in the temples. But the gentle mind of the Sakyamuni (Bodhisatta) was offended at the unnecessary cruelty performed on the altars of the gods. He said:
Ignorance only can make these men prepare festivals and hold vast meetings for sacrifices. Far better to revere the truth than to try to appease the gods by shedding blood.
What love can a man possess who believes that the destruction of life will atone for evil deeds? Can a new wrong expiate old wrongs! And can the slaughter of an innocent victim blot out the evil deeds of mankind? This is practicing religion by the neglect of moral conduct.
Purify your hearts and cease to kill; that is true religion.
Rituals have no efficacy; prayers are vain repetitions; and incantations have no saving power. But to abandon covetousness and lust, to become free from evil passions, and to give up all hatred and ill will, that is the right sacrifice and the true worship.”
“Though many births I sought in vain
The builder of this house of pain.
Now, builder, thee I plainly see!
This is the last abode for me.
Thy gable’s yoke and rafters broke,
My heart has peace. All lust will cease.”
“How blest in happy solitude
Are they who hear of truth the call!
How blest to be both kind and good,
To practice self-restraint to all!
How blest from passions to be free,
All sensuous joys to let pass by!
Yet highest bliss enjoyeth they
Who quit the pride of I am I.”
The Sermon on Abuse
The blessed one observed the ways of society and noticed how much misery came from malignity and foolish offences done only to gratify vanity and self-seeking pride.
And the Buddha said: “If someone foolishly does me wrong, I will return to that person the protection of my ungrudging love; the more evil comes from such a person, the more good shall go from me; the fragrance of goodness always comes to me, and the harmful air of evil goes to that person.”
A foolish man learning that the Buddha observed the principle of great love which commends the return of good for evil, came and abused him. The Buddha was silent, pitying his folly.
When the man had finished his abuse, the Buddha asked him, saying: “If a man declined to accept a present made to hi, to whom would it belong?” And he answered: “In that case it would belong to the man who offered it.”
The Buddha said, “You have railed at me, but I decline to accept your abuse, and request you keep it yourself. Wit it not be a source of misery to you? As the echo belongs to the sound, and the shadow to the substance, so misery will overtake the evildoer without fail.”
The abuser made no reply, and the Buddha continued: “An evil person who reproaches a virtuous one is like one who looks up and spits at heaven; the spittle soils not the heaven, but comes back and defiles the person.
“The slanderer is like one who flings dust at another when the wind is contrary; the dust does but return on the one who threw it. The virtuous cannot be hurt and the misery that the other would inflict comes back on the slanderer.”
The abuser went away ashamed, but he came again and took refute in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.
-------------
Much of Buddhism is universal, if you read these passages in the context of your own religion – Christianity to Islam- and take them to heart, then they can only do good and help you to your own spiritual goals. As I read much of the Buddhist scriptures and teachings it reminds me much of Jesus’ words and the parables in the bible. Yet it is the example that matters and how we take it in and relate it to our own life. There is wisdom in it all if you choose to look...
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
So I have been finding this day by day and I don't know how I hadn't seen it before. Thailand has been awesome and I am evermore excited, hopped up and ready to go whever the land calls for me. Its hard to sleep at night, not hard, just that I don't want to miss a single moment. I read a lot and cant get enough, I feel that I cant get enough. I have been slowly writing in the "thailand journel" but have also started a sketch book of day to day sights and feelings, pocket size, and last weekend when I was at Ko Sichang, there was a crowd of tuk-tuk drivers watching me drawl one of the tuk-tuks, laughing and all excited like school children when they have a a guest speaker that turns out to be a power ranger or some cosmic hero. ha, I was so embarassed but i pressed on and got a good ink sketch to be proud of. the people are acutally people here, not reserved and truly natural, you can know them through their laugh in an instant. so this is Thailand.
Speak you of YOU?
Where doth it all come from
If you can laugh at life, do you know it
If you cry at night, can you feel it
This is it all
All it is, is this
An intimate portrayal, a baby sucking its thumb
And a wild bull running in the pasture
The synchronicity of flowers blooming with souls
And fairy tales of tall days coming to save
We wonder why the world doesn’t greet us in the morning
And why we are never invited to its merrymaking
When was the last time you called upon life at tea time,
Or to remember its birthday
Not asking for a teacher, but reminiscing with an old friend
If I think myself separate from space I walk
Then what will support me, and where should I travel
So I am, we are, just a leaf on a tree
With a stem we choose not to see
Our roots ask nothing but recognition
To be free is to recognize necessity
Gone
Flapping in a foreign land
Wings are working
But I think I’ve lost my head
What a day it is
When everyday I wonder why
If I wake up and feel normal
Something must have happened
For I am not alive
If I don’t see a new sun
If I’m not amazed
The situation had torn
What I once thought of my own map
A Disposition Seeking Deaf Ears
What a mess to make of the shining one
You say you want to reach the stars
But what do you know beyond that?
-
When we start off in a direction
Is it densely calculated?
Crossing the T’s and dotting the I’s
-
Is there a theory to explain chaos
Or chaos describes itself
In infinity mimicking its fathers
-
Now it begins to rain, this is true
Do you proclaim that it is falling?
We speculate about repeating history
-
Details describe yet can not speak for themselves
And then we know- and then the next thought replaces
For years the ocean will slowly consume the shores
Until nothing remains but what was always there
-
The essence of science, diagramming a soul
Who wants to hear it from a foreigner?
Someone only knowing while insignificantly yawning
The truth comes with the cat’s meow
Sounds out of bounds and nothing to hold in your hands
-
Yet we have it even if we don’t hear it
And all the molecules in the world
Can never ask the wind to carry them home
When It Comes In Sight
When it comes in sight
It is golden and bright, but easy to miss
I found it pollinating on top of a lotus
What’s it like to not be like
To not be in order to be true
I do not guess for the mind would question itself
To be in this place is to be nowhere
Like the center of the universe
Don’t blink in samsara again
So you feel this, right now
Don’t believe it but don’t turn back
Let go of the desire to let go
Is there a purpose to that foot step?
Try again but don’t try this time
Keep in mind what you mean to do
Quotes from Buddahasa Bhikkhu in a book that I'm reading:
“The expression ‘insight into the true nature of things; refers to seeing transience, unsatisfactoriness, and non-selfhood, seeing that nothing is worth getting, nothing is worth being, seeing that no object whatsoever should be grasped at and clung to as being a self or as belonging to a self, as being good or bad, attractive or repulsive. Liking or disliking anything, even if it is only an idea or a memory, is clinging. To say that nothing is worth getting or being is the same as to say that nothing is worth clinging to. ‘Getting’ refers to setting one’s heart on property, position, wealth, or any pleasing object. ‘Being’ refers to the awareness of one’s status as husband, wife, rich man, poor man, winner, loser, or human being, or even the awareness of being oneself. If we really look deeply at it, even being oneself is no fun, is wearisome, because it is a source of suffering. If one can completely give up clinging to the idea of being oneself, then being oneself will no longer be suffering. This is what is to see the worthlessness of being anything, and is the gist of the statement that being anything, no matter what, is bound to be suffering in a way appropriate to that particular state of being. Any state of being, if it is to continue as such, has to be made to last, to endure. At the very least, it must endure in one’s mind in the form of a belief in that particular state of being. When there exists ‘oneself,’ there are bound to exist things which are other than that self and belong to it. Thus one has one’s children, one’s wife, one’s this, that and the other. Then one has one’s duty as a husband or wife, master or servant, and so on. All this points to the truth of the statement hat there is no state of being such that to maintain it will not involve struggle. The trouble and struggle necessary to maintain one’s state of being are simply the result of blind infatuation with things, of clinging to things. “
“If, however, we are not yet in a position to withdraw completely from having and being, we must be mindful and wide awake, so that when we do get or become something, we do so without emotional upset. WE must not be like those people who, turning a blind eye and deaf ear, go ahead brainlessly and inexpertly getting or becoming with the result that they fall right into the pit of their own stupidity and attachment, and end up having to commit suicide.”
“As soon as any individual has come to perceive the emptiness of all things, there arises in him the realization that is not worth getting or being any of those things. This feeling of not desiring to get or to be has the power to protect one from falling slave to the defilements or to any kind of emotional involvement. Once an individual has attained this condition, he is thenceforth incapable of any unwholesome state of mind. He does not become carried away by or involved in anything. He does not become in anyway attracted or seduced by anything. His mind knows permanent liberty and independence, and is free from suffering”.
-Buddhadasa Bhikkhu-
Speak you of YOU?
Where doth it all come from
If you can laugh at life, do you know it
If you cry at night, can you feel it
This is it all
All it is, is this
An intimate portrayal, a baby sucking its thumb
And a wild bull running in the pasture
The synchronicity of flowers blooming with souls
And fairy tales of tall days coming to save
We wonder why the world doesn’t greet us in the morning
And why we are never invited to its merrymaking
When was the last time you called upon life at tea time,
Or to remember its birthday
Not asking for a teacher, but reminiscing with an old friend
If I think myself separate from space I walk
Then what will support me, and where should I travel
So I am, we are, just a leaf on a tree
With a stem we choose not to see
Our roots ask nothing but recognition
To be free is to recognize necessity
Gone
Flapping in a foreign land
Wings are working
But I think I’ve lost my head
What a day it is
When everyday I wonder why
If I wake up and feel normal
Something must have happened
For I am not alive
If I don’t see a new sun
If I’m not amazed
The situation had torn
What I once thought of my own map
A Disposition Seeking Deaf Ears
What a mess to make of the shining one
You say you want to reach the stars
But what do you know beyond that?
-
When we start off in a direction
Is it densely calculated?
Crossing the T’s and dotting the I’s
-
Is there a theory to explain chaos
Or chaos describes itself
In infinity mimicking its fathers
-
Now it begins to rain, this is true
Do you proclaim that it is falling?
We speculate about repeating history
-
Details describe yet can not speak for themselves
And then we know- and then the next thought replaces
For years the ocean will slowly consume the shores
Until nothing remains but what was always there
-
The essence of science, diagramming a soul
Who wants to hear it from a foreigner?
Someone only knowing while insignificantly yawning
The truth comes with the cat’s meow
Sounds out of bounds and nothing to hold in your hands
-
Yet we have it even if we don’t hear it
And all the molecules in the world
Can never ask the wind to carry them home
When It Comes In Sight
When it comes in sight
It is golden and bright, but easy to miss
I found it pollinating on top of a lotus
What’s it like to not be like
To not be in order to be true
I do not guess for the mind would question itself
To be in this place is to be nowhere
Like the center of the universe
Don’t blink in samsara again
So you feel this, right now
Don’t believe it but don’t turn back
Let go of the desire to let go
Is there a purpose to that foot step?
Try again but don’t try this time
Keep in mind what you mean to do
Quotes from Buddahasa Bhikkhu in a book that I'm reading:
“The expression ‘insight into the true nature of things; refers to seeing transience, unsatisfactoriness, and non-selfhood, seeing that nothing is worth getting, nothing is worth being, seeing that no object whatsoever should be grasped at and clung to as being a self or as belonging to a self, as being good or bad, attractive or repulsive. Liking or disliking anything, even if it is only an idea or a memory, is clinging. To say that nothing is worth getting or being is the same as to say that nothing is worth clinging to. ‘Getting’ refers to setting one’s heart on property, position, wealth, or any pleasing object. ‘Being’ refers to the awareness of one’s status as husband, wife, rich man, poor man, winner, loser, or human being, or even the awareness of being oneself. If we really look deeply at it, even being oneself is no fun, is wearisome, because it is a source of suffering. If one can completely give up clinging to the idea of being oneself, then being oneself will no longer be suffering. This is what is to see the worthlessness of being anything, and is the gist of the statement that being anything, no matter what, is bound to be suffering in a way appropriate to that particular state of being. Any state of being, if it is to continue as such, has to be made to last, to endure. At the very least, it must endure in one’s mind in the form of a belief in that particular state of being. When there exists ‘oneself,’ there are bound to exist things which are other than that self and belong to it. Thus one has one’s children, one’s wife, one’s this, that and the other. Then one has one’s duty as a husband or wife, master or servant, and so on. All this points to the truth of the statement hat there is no state of being such that to maintain it will not involve struggle. The trouble and struggle necessary to maintain one’s state of being are simply the result of blind infatuation with things, of clinging to things. “
“If, however, we are not yet in a position to withdraw completely from having and being, we must be mindful and wide awake, so that when we do get or become something, we do so without emotional upset. WE must not be like those people who, turning a blind eye and deaf ear, go ahead brainlessly and inexpertly getting or becoming with the result that they fall right into the pit of their own stupidity and attachment, and end up having to commit suicide.”
“As soon as any individual has come to perceive the emptiness of all things, there arises in him the realization that is not worth getting or being any of those things. This feeling of not desiring to get or to be has the power to protect one from falling slave to the defilements or to any kind of emotional involvement. Once an individual has attained this condition, he is thenceforth incapable of any unwholesome state of mind. He does not become carried away by or involved in anything. He does not become in anyway attracted or seduced by anything. His mind knows permanent liberty and independence, and is free from suffering”.
-Buddhadasa Bhikkhu-
Friday, September 10, 2004
i just realized that maybe i am being a little selfish, or maybe i feel like no one actually cares about what i write...so i could make up some lavish stories of mermaids and magicians from cambodia...but would that make me any more interesting? i am searching for the part of me that wanted to write and share my experiences but i think that it might have stayed on one of the islands, swinging carelessly in a hammock tied between two coconut trees. i shall return
i have since stopped writting a "journel"...its too much to recall, or maybe im lazy, but i feel like I have better things to do. i am trying to enjoy my time here, but there is so much that is so much. but i realized i feel better after my thai boxing class, and i even stayed after an extra 2 hours kicking and punching the bags, the teacher also stays after and helped me out one on one...so after sweating vigoursly for 4 hours i was able to sleep more comfortablely. anyway, you should try it. i am going to kancanaburi for a few days, there is a national park there and also some ancient ruins, so talk to you all soon.
The battle for illusion
brings back days past
they wear armor made from memories
and yet I can't attack
The battle for illusion
brings back days past
they wear armor made from memories
and yet I can't attack
Monday, August 30, 2004
Please do read my writings here, but I do not wish for you to merely read and say, “oh that was good, or interesting”, for they need more than to be read, rather take them as road signs to direct the path of your mind when you come to a split in the road. If you do not know which way to go, may some of my words remind you somehow of where you want to go, or provide confidence that you know the real truth inside. And do not forget that this world does not exist beyond your next breath. If it all may come down on you, so that you feel the edge of life sharpening to slice, just know that it all means nothing if you don’t breathe the next breath, it all comes down to this, nothing more into it. This doesn’t mean you have no control, This doesn’t suggest to just end life if it is hard to get through, it simply means you have everything you ever need in this exact moment, you can not dwell on the past – it steals even more years from living, you can not leap into the future – it is empty and can never embrace you. So please take it to heart that there is meaning in everything, and a reason that at this moment you are reading this. For I have seen it along with the ten thousand things, they say now is the time, if there ever is such a thing a time, to be everything you need to be and destiny constantly cradles you, even when you struggle to get out. So keep peace in knowing that you are here now and it is simply to be you – then the waves of the heart will have less resistance, and you can walk with your eyes closed along the coast of bliss with a constant sunrise to the east.
Dancing with Mrs. Truth
The art of poetry is speaking the truth.
Do we let our inner nature out,
Or let the world’s nature in?
If I am true in my words,
Then the realization will be in front of you.
So do not separate letters,
In order for you create comfort.
When you read them,
And do not associate,
That’s it!
Mango Me
A time, time ago, I lost my virginity to the taxis in the city
As they lifted me away to a soul I had never known
Though I wish life could be as sweet as sticky rice on a mango tree
But alas it is not like that
No it’s not exactly like that
While a woman cries for the fever of love
Yelling for the sickness to drown her heart again
As she once had a piece that pulled peace out of the dark
And made time just a novelty of life
But if we only walked in a straight line
I would miss the temples
That provide the daily diamond shine
Now what about the conflicts we hear about
When two people choose their own route
Can I still hear her cry,
Even if I’m half a world away
I think it is better to discover your home through taking leave for awhile
So what can I do to comfort you
I all have is a pen and paper
There is so much inside of me breaking down the gate
So why does the page remain blank
Though I wish life could be as sweet as sticky rice on a mango tree
But alas it’s not exactly like that
Salty Skin
What’s it like to be on an island, with no surrounding sea
There’s people all around who don’t communicate
You’ve lost the familiar feeling of friendship by your side
And here trust is kept in the same company as money
We are alone when we realize there are so many of us
And not one can hold you in reassurance
Not one can speak words you need to hear
And not one will solace you with silence
So where is the sea, not where it should be
The gap is the expanse that love generates
It can only show its face in one place or the other
Singing lifts your mind away, but the shadows still remain
Who here doesn’t want me for my skin
Expecting me to be one of them
Torture I proclaim, when one of a kind is one too many
Fastening the facets of life, survival gear in this wild
An empty sea can at least reflect my face
And bring emotion to a legible level
I often forget who it is that lives in this place
Waterlove
I am floating in a bowl of milk love
Waiting to be discovered
Am I the black speck, tainting the aroma?
Or a lotus amongst the mud?
What is a life of waiting,
If some can see themselves cradled
While others thrash against their cage
We will all be floating by ourselves
Until we realize we are floating within ourselves
If we claim fate as our saint
Then this shell will molt, quietly evaporating
And we can penetrate the lungs of love,
Giving us the breath of being
If in these days of courting,
You converse behind a door,
Then the wheel will spin evermore,
While the knight of your dawn burns waiting
If you say there is a destiny,
Yet in fear you run from it,
Fate will fly in like the eagle’s claws
And rip you from your own pages
Alas you must adapt the way of water
For the Way loves your soul in its stream
Dancing with Mrs. Truth
The art of poetry is speaking the truth.
Do we let our inner nature out,
Or let the world’s nature in?
If I am true in my words,
Then the realization will be in front of you.
So do not separate letters,
In order for you create comfort.
When you read them,
And do not associate,
That’s it!
Mango Me
A time, time ago, I lost my virginity to the taxis in the city
As they lifted me away to a soul I had never known
Though I wish life could be as sweet as sticky rice on a mango tree
But alas it is not like that
No it’s not exactly like that
While a woman cries for the fever of love
Yelling for the sickness to drown her heart again
As she once had a piece that pulled peace out of the dark
And made time just a novelty of life
But if we only walked in a straight line
I would miss the temples
That provide the daily diamond shine
Now what about the conflicts we hear about
When two people choose their own route
Can I still hear her cry,
Even if I’m half a world away
I think it is better to discover your home through taking leave for awhile
So what can I do to comfort you
I all have is a pen and paper
There is so much inside of me breaking down the gate
So why does the page remain blank
Though I wish life could be as sweet as sticky rice on a mango tree
But alas it’s not exactly like that
Salty Skin
What’s it like to be on an island, with no surrounding sea
There’s people all around who don’t communicate
You’ve lost the familiar feeling of friendship by your side
And here trust is kept in the same company as money
We are alone when we realize there are so many of us
And not one can hold you in reassurance
Not one can speak words you need to hear
And not one will solace you with silence
So where is the sea, not where it should be
The gap is the expanse that love generates
It can only show its face in one place or the other
Singing lifts your mind away, but the shadows still remain
Who here doesn’t want me for my skin
Expecting me to be one of them
Torture I proclaim, when one of a kind is one too many
Fastening the facets of life, survival gear in this wild
An empty sea can at least reflect my face
And bring emotion to a legible level
I often forget who it is that lives in this place
Waterlove
I am floating in a bowl of milk love
Waiting to be discovered
Am I the black speck, tainting the aroma?
Or a lotus amongst the mud?
What is a life of waiting,
If some can see themselves cradled
While others thrash against their cage
We will all be floating by ourselves
Until we realize we are floating within ourselves
If we claim fate as our saint
Then this shell will molt, quietly evaporating
And we can penetrate the lungs of love,
Giving us the breath of being
If in these days of courting,
You converse behind a door,
Then the wheel will spin evermore,
While the knight of your dawn burns waiting
If you say there is a destiny,
Yet in fear you run from it,
Fate will fly in like the eagle’s claws
And rip you from your own pages
Alas you must adapt the way of water
For the Way loves your soul in its stream
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Friday August 13, 2004
Today I have a class, Society and Economy at 12.30, so there’s not much to do before then. I ate some of the pineapple and bananas we bought at the market for breakfast, my usual morning snack. Went to class and it was pretty good. It seems fairly easy and the teacher is good at thoroughly explaining things. After class me and a couple of people at down in the cafeteria and we went to the office to get some books copied. After that I went out on my own to the library and check some mail and such. Then walked around outside a bit, and after sweating so much I decided to go back to my apt. Met up with Jason there and we just vegged out for a few hours. A lot of people were going out for this one guys 21st birthday, but I declined. This girl down the hall had just bought a small guitar so we went to the roof of the building to play a bit. I showed her what I knew, but my style is really not technical and I don’t know the name of any chords. We played for about a half hour then she went back down and I decided to say on the roof. It was about 9pm by then and you could see the whole skyline of Bangkok. The building is about 8 stories high, and it is pretty peaceful and calm up there. So that’s my new relaxation spot. Back in Richmond everytime I wanted to get away I would go up to the top of the VCU parking garage and just watch everything from up there. But here in Bangkok it is hard to find a spot where there is an open space, with no people, and no motor noises. So this was it and I laid out on the picnic table up there and just stared up at the stars, or what little I could see of them. I have noticed every time I looked up in Bangkok I have never seen the moon, not even once. And still I laid there wondering if some clouds were covering it or it was a new moon, but I have never see it. I fell a sleep a bit on the table with my guitar on my stomach, very blissful. I opened my eyes again and decided that I should go back because I didn’t know how long I had been up there for. Got back to my room and read some more. I had finished Walden, and am halfway though The Prophet now, and also almost done with the energy book. I also have reading to do for my classes but I don’t have the books yet, but its not a problem. Stayed up until about 1am and then drifted off to sleep.
Saturday August 14, 2004
Woke up at 8 with nothing really to do, so I went back to sleep. Woke up again to the phone ringing at about 10.30, it was for Jason of course because no one has been able to call me yet. I read a bit more and then decided to go get on the internet downstairs and sent out some emails. Someone has been interested in buying my beetle, so I hope that it can work out. When I was leaving I peaked in and saw a few friends in the restaurant, so I sat and they told me about all the crazy stuff that they did last night. They ate dinner at a pretty expensive restaurant on the river, and then went to “Club Hip-hop” and said that they had a good time, drinking and dancing on the tables and such. Brandon told me that in the bathrooms there they had a guy put a hot towel on your neck, and also rub and crack your neck all while you are standing at the urinal. Interesting, they said it was a bit awkward. A couple of the guys were headed out to PATA Department store to get some groceries so I decided to go along with them. I went up to my room to see if Jason wanted to go with us, but he was asleep on the bed. I yelled “Jason” and he woke up quickly, then I laughed and told him we were going if he wanted to come. But I know he takes about a half hour to get ready before we go anywhere so he said he would meet us there, in the supermarket section. We traveled there and got our food stuffs and whatnots, I waited around for Jason but never saw him. The other guys wanted to go to McDonalds, so I followed them into that gross place but didn’t get anything. We then took a taxi back because we had many bags of things, and I got back to the apt with no sign of Jason. Me and Brandon made plans to go see a movie later and get some food at the “Central” department stores. I just chilled in my room and Jason showed up a half hour later with some more food, some good rations. I bought a bunch of nuts and raisons and dried fruit to make a trail mix, good stuff. We just kicked back in our room for a few hours and I caught up on readings. Then at about 6pm I went up to Brandons room to see if he wanted to go. Jason wasn’t feeling up to it was just Brandon and me. We took the bus for 5B for probably 10 minutes till we got to the right area, we just followed all the masses of people and saw where they were headed. We walked around the Mall and found an Italian restaurant, which was not so Italian, and sat down to eat. I ordered regular spaghetti, and Brandon got a Hawaiian pizza. The servings were small and bland, and didn’t fill me up so I had, had to, get a slice of apple pie, which was also not so good. We went to the theater in the mall to get the tickets to see Collateral, we paid 120B, about $3. I got some popcorn and bottled water for a total of 50B. Our theory of “Thai Time” was reinforced, I’ll explain. You see all of us international students agree that the Thai people run on a relaxed version of standard time. Everything starts and people arrive later than the scheduled time. The movie ticket said 8:45pm, so we tried to get in at 8:35, as in the U.S. you show up a couple of minutes before that time because the movie theoretically starts at that time. Well apparently not here, the theater wasn’t ready until 8:45, where we finally sat down as the only people in the theater, then waited 10 mins until the commercials started playing, then finally the previews. This took about 30 more minutes, and also the National anthem is played before every movie. We were watching previews when all of the sudden music started playing and people started standing up, so I just followed along and there was a 3 minute film and anthem about the Thai king, this was a worthy tribute and a good experience. The move finally started, by the end I was waiting for it to be done. I thought it was good, but just another flick, nothing new. We walked out of the theater and everything in the mall was closed up and it was pretty dark. We had a hard time figuring our way out, because the main entrance was already closed and locked. A guard had to show us the way out through a parking garage and out the back. We finally escaped and walked to see if the busses were still running. We decided to take a Tuk-Tuk back, for 30B. These are always fun to ride in, because its like a go cart and these guys always drive like they are in a race, swerving in and out and cutting people off. We got there quick though, and all in one piece. I said goodnight to Brandon and then went back to my room. Told Jason about the movie and did some more reading. There was a note from the girl down the hall that a bunch of people were going to meet at Thammasat at 11 to go to the “Weekend Market”, supposedly a big marked about a half hour away. I set my alarm and went to sleep.
Sunday August 15, 2004
Woke up before my alarm and just stared and took a while to gain consciousness. I had a few weird dreams that night and also a hard time sleeping. One dream that I can remember is that I had come back from Bangkok to Richmond. I was walking around the streets and I found Meaghan walking with her new friends, she wad dressed differently, like popular or Britney Spears like. She was also smoking and she ran away from her friends to see me. But it was weird then and we were mad at each other and we both had changed. We were both distant but finally we broke down and just laid on the grass together, I was holding her in my arms and we were sleeping. Next thing I remember I woke up hugging my pillow thinking it was Meaghan, I wanted to go back to sleep and dream I was holding her, but I couldn’t do it. That was a bit depressing cause I do miss her and it reminded me of being home. Also had another dream where we were, well I don’t remember but Rob was a pilot and we flew out of our house because the area was flooding for some reason. So I got ready and headed out to meet people at Thammast for the Weekend Market. I got there and Thai Time was again at work. I met some people that were going, but we didn’t leave until about 11:40. There was about 20 of us cramming into 2 vans that could sit 8 people, but it worked out ok and the trip was about 20 minutes. When we got there I saw the masses of people and the large tents and vendors all sprawled out through this area. They dropped us off and the Lady that was in charge said to meet at this one spot at 5pm. Ok, so was about noon time and we had five hours to walk through this market, that was just too much for me since I rarely enjoy shopping and there was stampeding people everywhere. I sucked it up and followed a few people until I was eventually by myself wandering through the endless valleys of people selling you things you didn’t know you needed. I will admit there were some cool shops with original handiwork, but most were just masses of manufactured chopsticks or purses. There was also a whole pet section, where I was a bit heart broken to see these baby animals being sold like meat. There were a lot of different types of species if you would like to know I shall list the types of animals that I can remember seeing: dogs, cats, rabbits, turtles, snakes, rodents, lizards, fish, arachnids, scorpions…and several sub species of those animals. I petted the furry things for awhile then moved on to other sections, I walked around and bought a few items but nothing big, but all of the 5 hours I walked constantly without ever seeing the same vendor twice. That was how big this thing was. I eventually realized that I had no clue where I was so at around 4pm I decided to find the meeting point, and it took all of the whole hour to find it. I got there and waited a while for more people in my group to show up. Then once we were all gathered we took a taxi to this big department store where we would all be eating. We had one huge table with all of us sitting, so it was like we took over the restaurant. The place was called MK, and was an upscale place too. The bill was to be paid by the school, so no worries about ordering too much. The school ordered the classic Thai meal there, which consisted of a bunch of meats thrown in a pot cooking right on our table, so it was a kind of stew, with a lot of seafood. So I just ate some noodles that were served separately and had a lot of green tea. We all finished and took awhile to gather together, and then took the brand new subway to a station where the vans were meeting us. The Bangkok subway had just opened a month earlier so none of the Thai students knew exactly how to use it. But we got it figured out and got to the right station alright. We got into the vans and rode back to Thammasat. By this time it was about 9pm, so I walked to the ferry and got back to my apt on time. When I arrived at the building and went up to the room, I found that the door was locked and Jason had gone out with the key. See we only have one key for the room, and when either one of us goes out we leave the key at the front desk, so who ever returns first can pick up the key. Well not this time, Jason had forgot to leave it at the desk, but they had an extra key and I got in Ok. So now I have to find out where Jason went, it is Sunday night and he usually doesn’t stay out too late. I waited a while before I started calling around for him, but then he came back at around 11pm. It turned out that Moo called looking for me to do something with, but since I wasn’t there Jason went instead. They had lunch, then went to a play at the school (which apparently was all in Thai and about protection and some gang people), Jason said the play was pretty funny even though he couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then he ate dinner with her and got back, so it turned out he had a good time which I was glad to hear. I was really tired from the long day out in the heat walking for miles so I showered and went to bed.
Monday August 16, 2004
Woke up at about 8:30am because I had class at 9:30 with Jason. The class was Buddhist Institutions and it was the first class because it was cancelled last week. We arrived a bit late and had to sit in the back, there were already a lot of people there and the teacher didn’t expect that many to be signed up. Well we got the overview and talked about some topics, and had a break in between. This class is only one day a week, but three hours long. The professor is American, but has been living in Bangkok for 12 years. He is a practicing Buddhist and knows quite a bit about the subject, the class is going to be specializing in Thai Buddhism (there are different sects just like Christianity), and this type of Buddhism I am unfamiliar with, so it should be a good course. We got done then I went to pick up some books that I had requested to be copied for my society and economy course, two books for a total of 460B. I then went with a few people to eat lunch at the cafeteria. I got the vegetarian food, which is always fantastic, and also a Boba fruit Shake. I was thrilled to find out that the cafeteria sells them, just like T T lounge in Richmond, and they are only 10B here, so that is amazing. The lady knows me know because I have stopped there frequently, so far my favorite flavor is blueberry, but they have quite a variety. My next class started three hours later so I went to the library a bit, then went to the international office to talk to the people there. Moo was there and I talked to her a bit, and she had given me a flash card with basic Thai words that I would need for ordering in a restaurant, and the written Thai words so I could show it to people also. It said that I was a vegetarian, and also a Vegan, or “ken-jae”. I know quite a bit now and am starting to feel comfortable conversing the standard good day and thank you and how much and all that. I am still learning the numbers, but it comes quick when you are living in the place where you actually use the language every day. So I got some tutoring with her, and then headed to my civilization class. This class is going to be a hard one, because of the unfamiliar names and places, just the phonetics will be hard to remember. This class was only a hour and half, all of constant note taking. But not bad to learn some new things about the country you are living in. So after that I just headed back, by then it was 5pm. I saw this street restaurant that looked fairly appetizing, all they made wad Pad Thai. Oh by the way I always thought that Pad means peanut, but now I know it means fried. So just remember that. Well I told him I didn’t want any meat in Thai, just tofu and the basics. It was pretty good stuff, but not a large enough portion to fill me up. It cost 45B, which for street food is expensive. I headed back to my apt and saw that some black clouds were rolling in. Just a quick rain storm, as usual for the rainy season. I arrived back at my apt. a little moist but refreshed, and while I was waiting for Jason to get back I played the guitar for a bit. Then Jason arrived and we decided to go get some food at a restaurant we have never been before. I got Brandon to come along and we walked until we saw some place that looked decent. There was no one inside and the staff was all over us. They waited over the tables until we decided, while one of the guys seemed to be in charge, telling the waitresses what to do. He was pointing at the menu trying to get us to order things that were more expensive. I ordered pineapple fried rice. Sounded good and it came inside a hollowed pineapple, which was cool too, but it had chunks of meat in it, not a lot so I just sucked it up and took the pieces out which were easy to decipher. The guy made Brandon eat the “right” way, he took his plate and put the rice in the bowl and then put the vegetables and meat in with the rice. But that was weird because it just grabbed the plate and did it for him, and also he yelled at Jason for putting soy sauce on the rice, because apparently that is only a Chinese tradition, not a Thai one. Once they were out, the rice was pretty good. It had pineapple and peanuts in the rice, which was quite delightful. I also ordered some hot jasmine tea, all this cost me about 110B, this was fairly expensive and I don’t think I will go back to this restaurant to eat any time soon. Well anyway me and Jason decided to go to Pata to get a new battery charger for his rechargeable batteries. We got everything taken care of and took a taxi back. Then just stayed in for the rest of the night, typing and reading.
Tuesday August 17, 2004
Not much today. I have a class at 12:30, Art and archaeology. This class was pretty large, compared to the rest of my classes, and it was three hours long. The teacher is pretty good, she told us that we will be learning art history, thai history, archaeology, and thai architecture. We will also be having two field trips to go see some old temples and ruins, so I am looking foreword to that. After I got out of class, I ate some food in the cafeteria, and of course got a boba shake. Then I walked around with Jason to Cosaun Rd because he wanted to get something. So we walked around a bit and I tried looking for this Vegetarian restaurant that I ate at before, The Cozy House, but I couldn’t find it amongst the masses of buildings and vendors. So we continued to walk and decided to stop at a different place that had some vegetarian food, we had eaten there before and the prices are really cheap. I got sweet and sour vegetables with noodles, it was almost like a soup, all for 35B. Jason took a taxi back to the apt and I decided to walk a bit more, and walk back to the apt. I do a lot of walking, as you may have noticed. But I like it better than taking taxi’s all over the place. So I get back to my apt alright, but really sweaty, it was really humid and sunny. Then I get all cleaned up and decide to type a little, and read some of my Economy and Society text book, which is pretty good stuff. Talking about the makings of society and the history of economy and what systems people employed to fulfill their needs. I at first though it was Thai economy and society, but it is really global economy and society, so it is not too difficult. Well anyway, it was about 8pm and we got a call, usually no one calls me so I figure it was for Jason. It turned out to be a girl I had met the day before, just for a few minutes at lunch and she had asked where I was living, so I guess she got the phone number and decided to give me a call. So that’s a little weird, but Thai people are extremely friendly like that, but still I was suspicious. Her name was Fone, it means rain in Thai. She asked if I wanted to come over to her apartment with her friend to watch a movie, so I really had no good excuse at hand and agreed. Jason didn’t want to come and thought I was crazy for going, but I am up for any experience, but know my limits and when to get out of a situation. So she and her friend met me at front of my building and we took a taxi to her apt building, only like 5 minutes away. We got there and it was awkward at first, but they were normal kids like me and we got along good. They made fun of me for just coming over when I didn’t know any of them that well, but I argued that they called me so they couldn’t call expecting me to say no. But it turned out that they did expect me to say no, but whatever. So she pulled out her guitar and they sang a few songs, oh another thing about Asian countries, karaoke is really big and they are used to just singing for fun and memorizing words to famous songs, so they expected me to know a lot of songs and I didn’t. They laughed because they know more American lyrics than I do, and I’m American. But they turned out to be good kids, not party animals like half the people I meet here, and they just like hanging out in small groups. I got to know them pretty well, her friend’s name was Gift. She is Thai also, but has a British accent because she studied there for 2 years, its just weird to hear a Asian person speaking good English but in a British accent. We watched Euro-Trip, which was a good laugh. So it turned out to be a good idea, because I met some people that I’m not afraid to hang out with, they are going to tutor me in Thai. We talked about Buddhism and what I knew, and about vegetarianism and whatnot. I got back around 2am, so Jason thought I was dead. Well that’s about it, I went to sleep…out.
Wednesday August 18, 2004
Not much happened today, just a regular schedule of classes. I woke up and finished The Prophet, I underlined a bunch of good quotes and it is an amazing book to read. After that I went to go eat some fruit at the cafeteria on Thammasat, then I had class at 12:30, Society and Economy. After that I ate lunch and talked to some people, then I went to the library for a bit and got on the internet. Then I headed back to my apt. It was raining, as the usual afternoon rain shower had come in. Sometimes it is a constant downpour for a half an hour, but it is usually just a little rain for 10 minutes, then light sprinkles for a little bit afterwards. But when there are downpours the streets get flooded quick, kind of like Richmond. When a huge portion of the land is covered with cement and paved over, then the water is not absorbed easily into the earth. So many streets fill up quickly and it is hard to maneuver around these swimming pools. The cars and mortocycles go slightly slower, but you sill have to watch yourself because they create giant waves of slimy street water, which can also soak you. Some people have mentioned that the rain irritates their skin or eyes, because of the pollution, but I don’t feel anything abnormal. It is good when it comes along because it cools down the air a bit and it is easier to tolerate. Well I got back mildy wet and changed. Then talked to Jason about what we could do, so I suggested going to a vegetarian restaurant that I had been to before. So we just took it easy in our room for a bit. Then we I got a call from Fone, seeing what we were up to. I said we might go out to eat and anyone could join us if they wanted to. But by then it had started raining again, pretty hard, so we decided that we were just going to eat at the bottom of our apt building. So Fone was getting a cold and she didn’t come, it was just me and Jason. We walked down to eat and we were surprised by Moo and Joe (Joe works at the international office), who had come by to see us. They came bringing gifts, some Thai music CD’s and some Thai desserts. So that was awfully nice of them to come over in the rain. We sat down and ate together, I had the usual of Pad Thai with Tofu. We were down there for about an hour, then went said goodnight and thanked them for coming over. The desserts they gave us were pretty good also. One was gelled coconut pressed and grilled between pieces of palm tree leaves. You open the leaves and pull out the coconut filling, not bad. The other was more of a candy, they were little shapes of fruits and vegetables that were gelled over and shiny looking. They turned out to be made of a bean related curd mixed with sugar cane, they were pasty and interesting, but good to have one or two. After we said good night we went up to the room to finish a few things and then went to sleep.
Thursday August 19, 2004
I had Thai Civilization at 12:30 and then Thai Boxing at 2pm. The Thai Boxing class sounds like it is going to be awesome. It is actually a class, where you get graded and tested. The first class we had was just in a classroom, to get us informed as to what we had signed up for. The teacher is great and I am surprised that he would be teaching at a university. He had been light weight champion in Thailand several times and had gone to the Olympics a couple of times also. His brother is also one of the best Muay Thai Boxers in the country and even won a Gold medal in Atlanta in the last games. They were both trained by their father who was also a great boxer. So this guy knows his stuff, but he doesn’t know a lot of English, so there is a translator there also. He went over the course and what we would be learning. He said at the end of the course we will go see a real match at one of the biggest stadiums in Thailand, the teacher has free entrances there because he was once champion. He said that there are only three places where you can see real Thai Boxing in Thailand, the kind with the gambling and hardcore fighters. So we have to learn the techniques and scoring before he takes us, but I am looking forward to it. We watched a video, and it showed some techniques and it looks like it will be a challenging course. After we got out of that I was walking out and back to my apt when I met Fone and Gift on campus. We made plans to go out to a Vegetarian place that served Thai and Indian dishes. So I got back and told Jason to come, but he wanted to say and read and take notes for his Thai history class. I met up with Anna and Dane from my building and they came with me. Anna is also a vegetarian; she is from northern California, U.C. Santa Cruise. Dane is from the Chicago area, and kind of a 90210 Beverley Hills type of guy, takes a half hour to do his hair, but he’s a decent guy once you get to know him. So we met up with Fone and Gift at the pier because we were going to take a boat to the restaurant. It costs 10B to get on the faster boats that go down the river, as opposed to the ferries with just go across the river to the other side. We stayed on for about 8 minutes and got off and walked a couple of streets to the restaurant. It was called Healthy Food, vegetarian restaurant. So that’s cool. We were the only ones in there and the way you order food was interesting too. They had pictures of the dishes and the names on two large pillars centered in the restaurant. So you go look at the pictures and point at the one that looks the most appetizing to you…ha I’d never thought I would be ordering my food off a pillar in a restaurant. But it was a more informal / cafeteria style restaurant so it some how worked. I got something that was imitation squid, which I didn’t know when I ordered it. There was long tentacle like protein strips in with rice and vegetables. It wasn’t bad at all, but a little chewy. We also got some tea that was excellent. After that we all got a taxi back to our Apt building and we had a jam session. Dane had a harmonica and Fone also plays the guitar, Gift can sing, and Jason had bought a wooden flute at the market that is like a recorder. So we were all trying to sound good, but it didn’t work out so much, but it was fun. So we then decided to go out and play some pool, down by Cosaun road. We went into this place called Shamrock’s, a bar/restaurant. They had a live band playing, a Thai band covering American rock songs, like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blink 182, and Offspring. It was funny to hear, but it was pretty good stuff. The pool table had a lot of people in line so we went somewhere else after hearing a couple of songs. The girls knew a small place where there would be little people, so we headed there. We eventually found a good place, and got to play a few games of pool. We decided to leave at around 12:30, and got a cab back to drop off Gift and Fone and then we took it back to our place. I got in and Jason was on the phone with his family, and told me that I had miss a call from my mom. Ah, the first time she gets through and I wasn’t there! Well it sounds like I have a package on the way. I got cleaned up and went to sleep.
Friday August 20, 2004
I woke up at about 9am, Jason was still sleeping. I got up and had to write an answer to a question, about a page in length, for Society and Economy. I finished and Jason was still sleeping, he had class at 11:30 and he usually leaves at about 1030, but it was already 10 something and he was still sleeping. So I debated weather I should wake him up or not, but I decided not to because he’s can handle his own. So I just typed a bit more in my journal and herd him slowly waking up at around 1030, and then herd him say “ah shoot”. I guess he realized he was a little behind. I also have been thinking about his passport, his expires the 26th of this month and he has to get his visa renewed before that time or they will fine him or kick him out of the country, but he needs to learn to take care of his own situation, it’s a tough lesson but someone’s got to teach him. He’s 22, and this is the first time he has lived on his own away from his parents. I’ve gotten the impression he is not used to too much responsibility beyond school work and his own interests. He leaves our stuff everywhere and dishes on the floor because it is easier for him to get things if they are down lower, I don’t mind it but we only have one fork and one spoon, and we agreed to clean them after any use…but I don’t yell at him, I just don’t tell him when he’s gonna get deported…so it seems fair enough. Well anyway he took a taxi to school because it was quicker, and I had class at 12:30 so I left around 11:45. I got to Thammasat and waited for the class before me to get out, as they usually run late and our class starts late. After class I ate some vegetarian food and then talked a bit, about any plans for tonight. I went to go get the Thai language book copied that Brandon lent me, because I am not taking the class but I still want to learn it. Then I went to the library to check email and send some out. Then I walked back to my apt. My new thing everyday is stopping and picking up some fried bananas at this lady right next to my apartment. She knows me now, and there is always a guy there too, they don’t speak English well, but it works out. I say good day to them and then “Glouy”, which means banana and I get a bag of the small fried ones, fresh, for 10 B. It’s a good amount of them too. But today after she handed me the bag and I handed her the money, she held up one and said “Ba-nan-A?”..i didn’t know what she meant but she kept repeating it. Then I figured out she was asking if that is what you call it in English…so I said “ohh, banana, Ka, ka”.. ka means yes. The they laughed and I went on my merry way back to my apartment. I think I’m addicted to these, they are really good and sometimes I put peanut butter on them, but Jason seems to think that is repulsive. They are really greasy though, but everything here is fried or grilled so I guess there is no other option. I have had some grilled bananas too, with a sweet coconut marinade; these are good too, but not as good as the fried and battered ones, I think there is a little coconut shredded on them too with some sesame seeds. Mmmmm’. Well I just read a bit and waited for a call from anyone to see if they wanted to do anything. I took a little nap, for about an hour. Then decided to call Fone to see if she was done working, but no answer. So I called Gift and she answered and said that she was just around Thammasat looking at the shops, so we decided that we were hungry, and I told here just to wait there a bit and I would gather Jason and Brandon to come along. So we left and headed to Thammasat, took the ferry and by this time it was about 7:45, and we met her at the pier by the university. We walked to a restaurant down the street. It had a tea house atmosphere, relaxed feeling. It did in fact have a wide selection of tea, which was good and also some vegetarian dishes. The restaurant was not that big, probably only 6 tables or so, but it had a tree in the middle with stones around it, so when you had to walk by you ducked under the tree. The whole restaurant was enclosed though, and air conditioned. We got our food and the meal was good, and not too expensive. I think my drink and noodle dish cost me 80B. After there we decided to go back to meet up with Fone at her apartment, the same building where Gift lives. We listened to music and played some of our own. We had gotten word of a “party” that this guy Nathan was having for his new apartment at Three J court. About a block away from where we were. Basically most of the international students would be there, so we were going to check it out. Jason and I don’t really go to these things because it is nothing special, just people getting drunk and screaming obscenities. We decided to head over there at about 11pm, and we walked through some weird areas to get there, the back alleys. The girls explained that they were massage parlors, the ones with a “happy ending” is what they called it. Ha, so it was funny to walk by and see all the taxi’s waiting out front and all the scandalous activity that goes on there. We got to the apartment and the security guy knew about the party and greeted us and escorted us to the elevator. That’s another difference here about how people act, I guess they all like to party, but they didn’t care about all these people in the apartment building drinking and being loud, in fact it is almost like they encourage it. When we got upstairs we said hello to a bunch of people and I talked to Nate, he is in 3 of my classes and a funny guy, but he likes to have a good time also. He told me that when he asked the management of the building if he could have a party they got excicted and gave him a few cases of beer. That was nice of them. Well there was probally 30 people or so in this upstairs lounge area, where his room was next to. I made my rounds and talked to the people I knew and refused drinks every 2 minutes or so. Jason didn’t enjoy the scene so he just left and I didn’t get to talk to him about where he was going or anything. By then it was about midnight. I found Fone and Gift again and we decided that the party was a bit boring so we decided to just go to Cosaun rd, actually I found out it is spelled Khaosaun. We walked around and saw all the night life, there were a lot of people out, locals playing guitar on the street and may people selling various items. We went into a couple of places but all of them were crowded, so we got fed up and just went back to Fone’s apartment. Then she called one of her European friends, who was having a little get together, not a party. Ha, I guess that is one difference between Americans and Europeans, they just get together and relax and have a few beers. Unlike American college students who get drunk and wasted, these guys are used to the accessibility of alcohol and don’t look at it as a big thing. So we headed over there and it was a nice place. They were on the 16th floor, and had an amazing view of the city. They had a huge bay window in each of the two rooms. They got hooked up because one of the guys from Holland gave a soccer jersey to one of the managers, and they somehow got one of the nicest rooms in the whole building. So, again, that is how they do it here. Me and Brandon were the only Americans there, but we got along alright. They asked us why all the Americans always hang out together, but we countered that all the Europeans hang out together. So they agreed, but there were no hard feelings. Some dutch, germans, sweedish, finnish, and the like were lounging around. All the girls looked the same, blonde hair, tall, and …Europeanesk beauty, but lacking something. A few of the girls came and talked to me and Brandon, and most of them are from the business program at Thammast, not the Thai studies, so we never really had seen them before. We mingled a bit with other guys, and met two Espens…which means Bear in Finish. One of the guys actually lives in our building, Ruen Indra, on the Third floor. He’s one of the less arrogant and rowdy Europeans. People slowly trickled out and we and three other guys were left, it was about 4am. We got in with Heiner, the guy who lived in the place. He is in Brandon’s Thai language class, so they had known each other before. But I just had met him and he’s an interesting fellow. We agreed to hang out again, and Fone and Gift said that since he had a kitchen we could have a traditional Thai dinner party. I want to learn how to make some Thai vegetarian food, or even the Pad Thai with tofu. Well we said goodnight and left and headed back to Ruen Indra, with Gift and Fone. We went to Dane’s room and just listened to music and looked at his digital pictures of everything he had done here. Gift left at like 5:30 because she had to get a bus down to her parents in southern Thailand at 8am, but the bus ride would be something like 11 hours, so she planned on sleeping then. I went outside and watched the sun rise and admired the scenery from the balcony, and heard the roosters right next to our building crowing. A perfect morning in Bangkok. I headed down to my room at around 6am, and was surprised to find Jason still awake, typing on his computer. He had been awake the whole time. When he left the first party, he walked a bit and then took a taxi to Khaosaun Rd. to check out the scene there and got a watercolor character of himself, which we agreed we had to get one later of us together. So we eventually went to sleep and closed the curtains to keep the approaching sunshine out of our cave, in which I proceeded to hibernate for the next week.
Saturday August 21, 2004
I woke up on and off during the next few hours, but eventually got up around 12:30. Fone called and asked if we wanted to go to Nuan Luan, a night bazaar tonight. I said alrighty then. I had to go pick up a book that I was getting copied at Thammasat, so I left to go there at around 3pm. I walked to campus, picked up the book and got a boba shake, then walked to the market to pick up some bread and bananas for the upcoming week. I got back at around 4:30 and asked if Brandon wanted to go with us to the market. He said “cool, whatever”, because we were all still sleep deprived that nothing much mattered. I went and took a bit of a nap until we were going out. We talked to Fone and decided to meet at around 7 by the Chang pier, next to the Grand Palace. We got there and met up with Fone, Gok-kai, and Vesa, her boyfriend from Finland. This guy is pretty Finnish looking, long blond hair with big hands and big feet, and tall too. He spoke good English and was pretty funny throughout the night. We sat down at an outside restaurant and I got the usual, Pad Thai with Tofu. After we ate we headed to Thammasat where we were going to me Heiner, and his Brother Espen, they were going to go with us to the night bazaar. On the way I stopped at a Thai bookstore and got a children’s Thai alphabet book, to trace and color and learn the Thai letters. When we were leaving the bookstore it started to rain, and it advanced to a down pour. We ran through the rain to meet the guys at the “canteen”, and we waited there until it slowed down to a drissle. Then we set off to the Nuan Laum market. We took taxis and it was about a 20 minute drive. We got there and decided to get something to eat first, so we went to “Safari Steakhouse”, my first choice as you may have guessed. I just got a fruit salad and some fried cashews, while others were ordering crocodile steaks. After that we split up and walked around for only about 30 minutes because by then it was about to close. They shut down at midnight, so we met up…and everyone except me, Brandon, Jason, and Fone were left. So we took a taxi to her apartment and watched a depressing movie, Thirteen. Well after it was over we looked at Fone and she was asleep, so we snuck out at about 3am and she didn’t even wake up. We got back to our apt, and I went to sleep. The next thing I know the phone is ringing and it was about 7am Sunday morning. It was Fone and she had just woken up and realized we were not there, so I laughed at her and we had a 4 minute talk about something …but we were both half asleep so I said I would talk to her later and then I went back to sleep.
Sunday August 22, 2004
“Ring, Ring, Ring”…eh someone is calling me again. Jeez… I pick up the phone and to my amazement it was Meaghan! So we had a long talk about what’s been interesting in our lives and what’s not so interesting. The pone line cut out a few times, because for some reason my line here wont let you have a continuous conversation for more than 20 or 30 minutes. Well it reached a point where I had to leave the room and call her from the international phone booth down the street. By that time it was about 11:30 and we had to say our usual torturous goodbyes, with our hearts not knowing which way is home. I left the phone booth not knowing what to feel, but I remembered that Moo was going to meet me and take me to a Blind children’s school. So I returned to Bangkok, as my head had been elsewhere. I got changed and met her at the bottom of my apartment. We took a taxi to the School, where I we could be volunteers and help out with anything during the day. When I arrived I was glad to be in a place that needed me, the blind children have enough charisma and love to make me smile a lifetime. I met a few kids and we had to organize them into groups of six. They were going to have a “field day” type thing, where they had to play games and such. I watched them play a relay game, as they had to pass a coke can after running around these two poles with ribbon tied between them, so they could feel their way along the ribbon. The fastest team would advance to the next round. As I was watching these games, someone came up to me with a blind girl on his arm, she looked about my age. He said she wanted to meet me, so I didn’t hesitate. He pulled her towards me and I held her hand as she introduced herself, and she spoke great English. She had been going to a college in England, and studying English for a year. So we talked about England and what she likes about it and if she had visited America. She seemed to enjoy talking with me and hearing why I was in Thailand and I certainly enjoyed her beautiful energy and holding her hand as we talked. After about 10 minutes her friend came back and they had to go so I said I was glad to have met her. After they left I went and found Moo, and we helped pass out snack to the kids. It was any one of the various kinds of chips, or nuts in a bag, and a small cup with orange liquid in it. After they ate, they held the trash in the air and we had to get it from them. Then after we didn’t have anything to do, we went out to get some lunch at a small side of the road place, and we both had Khao Rik Pad Puk, rice with fried vegetables. When we got back we saw they were all just hanging out and listening to music. I went over to another group of boys that were playing some guitars. All the kids here were in grades K-9. They were playing the guitar and singing pretty well, and I suppose they love to listen and play music. After a while they gathered in the cafeteria and listen to someone talk and they handed out little desserts to all the kids. Me and Moo went to another area to listen to one of the counselors, who is also slightly blind, play the piano for a bit. She was great, and she played some traditional Thai music. I was really tired by then, and I was drifting in and out of sleep. So Moo asked if I wanted to go, and I reluctantly said OK. So we said goodbye and got in a taxi back to my apartment. I thanked Moo for taking me to a great experience, and I went back to my place and took a nap for an hour, until 6pm. Then me and Jason went out to get some food, we took a taxi to Khaosaun Rd, where there is this good vegetarian restaurant, called Health for You, or something like that. I got this Tofu and vegetables sandwich, with also a peanut sauce on it…it was good but not that filling. So I had to get the amazing black sticky rice with coconut, banana and mango in a bowl with coconut milk. The sticky rice was warm, so it had the same effect as a warm brownie and cold ice cream. Ahh…I could go for some more right now actually. Well we finished that and walked over to Khaosaun Rd. because the place is close to, but not on the road. We looked around and bought a few items here and there and then got a taxi back. I read a little for my Buddhist institutions class, then hit the sack.
Monday August 24, 2004
I woke up at around 8am and had remembered through the night Jason had been typing and he actually went up the roof to type, and I heard him come back in at around 5 in the morning. So we both have Buddhist institutions at 9:30 and I debated waking him up. But I figured if he wanted to go he could get himself up, so I let him sleep. I got ready and it was about 8:40 and he hadn’t budged. So I left him and went to Thammast. I got some fruit and juice there and then made it up to class. At the halfway point in our class we took a 15 minute break, and I noticed Jason had come in when I got back from the break. I laughed at him and he was a little bitter, but nothing serious, he just said for me to wake him up next time if I don’t know what he’s doing. So after class I went and ate some lunch and waited for my next class to start at 15:30 (they use military time here so get used to it, I did). I went to the library for a bit, sent out some emails and read a little. I also had to write a few post cards. So I burned time until class started and then went to Thai civilization. After that class, I went down to the “canteen” and ate some really spicy vegetarian food, and had 2 bottles of water to wash it all down. I met Moo there and told here that me and Brandon planed on going back to the Night Bazaar because he wants to get things for his family. Brandon has decided to go back home and not stay the rest of the semester. He said that if he does a semester in Bangkok, then he has to do one more at his home institution. Otherwise he could just do one more at home and not another one, so he decided that it would be best if he goes back. So he leaves on Wednesday, and wants to get all the souvenirs before he goes back. He said he would also sell his cell phone to me for a 1,000B, which is good and I will probably buy it because it cost him about 2000B to get it all set up. So moo agreed to meet us at around 8pm to go to the market. I came back to the room and Jason wanted to go to the supermarket to get some food, so we walked to PATA and got what we needed. We took a taxi back and by then it was about 7:30. I cleaned the sweat off me and met with Moo and Brandon downstairs. We went to the market, Brandon went off on his own and me and Moo went to get some dinner. The only vegetarian stuff we could find was Pad Thai, and I was fine with it because it is one of my favorite dishes to eat here. So we ate and listen to the live band that was playing. After that we walked around and she got a call from her friend that co-owned a pet shop next to the market. So we walked over there and she had a few small and fluffy puppies to play with. They were miniature dogs, with very long hair so it almost seemed they were a moving shag carpet. When one laid down you couldn’t see its face or decipher its legs, it was just this mat of fur. We stayed for about 10 minutes then walked and looked at the shops for a bit until we found the spot were we were going to meet Brandon. After he showed up, we went back the apartment, but dropped Moo off first. By then it was about 10:30 and I got to my room, read some and typed some then went to bed at around 1am.
Tuesday August 24, 2004
I woke up at about 9am, and just putzed around, ate some peanut butter and jelly and some cereal, fruit loops, with a new kind of soy milk. It’s called Nature UP!, doesn’t sound delicious. Actually this kind is a lot better than the first one I got, which was sugar free and just not that tasty. This kind is made from soy, grain, and corn milk and it has some vitamins and calcium added, and it is also sweetened. So it’s pretty good, but it is really too sweet to have with fruit loops. So I read a bit and then headed to class an hour early, so I could talk to the international office. I went there and tried to pay for the trip this weekend that would be going to the floating market and to some caves. The guy I needed to see wasn’t there, so I had to come back later. I went to the canteen and met up with some people in my next class, and after a bit we went up there and low and behold my only class, Art and Archaeology, was cancelled. So I really had nothing to do, I went back down to the canteen, because I figured I might as well get some real lunch at the Vegetarian place, so I did and sat with some people. After that I went back to the international office to pay for the trip and the guy was finally there, so I got my ticket for this weekend. I also had seen a note up in the office that I thought may be for me. It reads: “To Michael, I sent you an email last week. Did you get it? Anyway, I wish to see you sometime, if you’re free. Call me O.K.!!! Fon Punyarat 01-3072926.” So I figured someone might be wanting to meet me, or it could be another Michael. So I decided to take the note with me this time, because I had seen it for the past week hanging up on the board. I grabbed it and went out, I had to drop off some paper for ISEP that had my classes on it so that the coordinator here could sign off on it. I found her office and greeted her and she told me to come back tomorrow because she had to verify the classes. So after that I went to the library a bit to check email and read some. Then I left and headed back to my apt. Brandon would be leaving tomarrow to go back home, so I wanted to see if he was going to hang out and do something before he left. I got back and he wasn’t in his room. So I called Fone to talk to her, the Fon that I had met before not the one from the note, and she wanted to say bye to Brandon too. So I waited to hear from him. I rested a bit, then Fone called me back and said that she talked to Brandon and he was coming back to the apt at around 8pm, so it was about 7 then and me and Jason were hungry. So we decided to go to a restaurant near Thammasat that Jason had been to before, and we took a taxi there. As we were walking to the restaurant Jason stopped at this street vendor that was selling delicious little insects, yes, bugs. He had crispy little critters, meal worms, beetles, cockroaches, and large grasshoppers. Jason got a bag of grasshoppers and the guy sprinkled some seasoning on them and sprayed them with soy sauce, so they looked pretty gross. We continued to this empty restaurant, that had a small stage set up for live music and the lighting was dim also. We sat down at these shakey tables and chairs and Jason tried the Grasshoppers, and said they actually were not bad, just crunchy but pretty good. I looked at the menu to keep from looking at the bag of insects on the table and noticed lack of vegetarian dishes. So I had the usual Khao Pad Puk, any place can make if even if it’s not on the menu. They put a candle on the table to increase the romantic feeling and then a guy and girl went on stage to start playing some music. It was weird because me and Jason were the only ones there, and it was like they were playing just for us. The guy was playing the piano and the girl was singing, it was pretty good but awkward because they were like 20 feet away from us. So after ever song she would say that her English wasn’t that good but asked if we like the song. We said yeah and smiled and waited for our food to come. When I got my plate I noticed that the rice with vegetables was molded in the shape of a heart, so that was also romantic. So we finished and all the while maybe one or two people came in to eat and they continued playing music. The meal was too expensive and not good enough for that price, my dish and a bottle of water were 90B, so I don’t think I’ll go back to that place again. We walked down the street and surprisingly saw two people from the international program, so we said hi and then two other people came walking from the other direction that I knew, one of them was Moo with her buddy Brenden, so it was weird to run into all these people just on the street. We talked for a bit, then me and Jason headed back to meet up with Brandon to see what he was up to. I got to the apt and went to his room and talked to him and bought his cell phone for a 1000B, and he was packing up to leave at 4am on Weds. Fone said she was going to stop by in a bit so I waited down in my room and decided to call the Fon from the Note that I found in the International office. I called not knowing if it was the Fon I knew or not because it was a different number. So some one answered and I said hello and introduced myself and why I was calling. It turned out that she was looking for her buddy named Michael also, but with a different last name. So I was a bit embarrassed and it was a little awkward but she asked if I wanted to meet anyway and I say what they hey, and decided to meet her for lunch at 11am at the international office. She asked if she could bring some of her friends so I said I didn’t care, and so…yeah im going to meet some random girl tomorrow, but I think it will be ok. I then called the other Fone to see where she was and it turned out that she was in the building at someone else’s room. So I she came down to my room and we went up to see Brandon. We talked for a bit and Brandon decided he wanted to go to Khaosaun one last time before he left. Fone had to go back and do some work, so just me and Brandon went, by this time it was about 10:45pm. We walked around and he got some fake Adidas that looked pretty good. For some reason all the shops had to close at 11pm, and the police was there to enforce it, so you couldn’t buy anything off the street past that time. I later found out it was just a temporary ordinance because they were on an electricity shortage or something, I’m not too sure. So I was a bit hungry because that plate of rice I ate with Jason didn’t really fill me up, I stopped by my regular place, 247 Thai, which is right off Khaosaun and they have cheap vegetarian food. I got Pad Thai and Brandon walked around until I finished. After that I walked outside to meet up with Brandon and ran into Dave, Mia, and another Michael that all live at Ruen Indra. So we talked and when we me up with Brandon we all took a taxi back. I said farewell to Brandon and wished him a good trip and a good life. That’s the last I saw of him, and so I went to my room and read some economics and then went to sleep at around 1am.
Wednesday August 25, 2004
So I wake up at about 9:30 and stare for a bit. Jason got up, got ready for class, then headed out at around 10:30. I had to meet the other Fon at 11, so I got ready too and left to go to Thammasat. I took the ferry as usual and was feeling a bit nervous, and wondering what I had gotten myself into. So I go to the international office to see if I can find her, but no luck. So I go upstairs to pick up my form from the ISEP coordinator, then head back down to the International Office, and as I was about to open the door a girl comes out and says “Are you Michael”, yes indeed, that’s me. So I meet her and she said she has some friends I can meet too. So we go around the corner and there are about 15 of her friends waiting there, like it was a surprise party or something. This was a bit overwhelming, I only expected 2 or 3 of her friends to come, but I went down the line and introduced myself while they told me each of their names, which I cant remember but 2 of them. So after that about half of them had to go to class, and just wanted to meet me, and the other half came with us to get lunch by the Prachan Pier, right outside Thammasat. We got to this nice little restaurant, and I think there were about 8 of us. I told them I was vegetarian, and I got the usual “Ohhhhh”, and they talked amongst themselves in Thai for a bit. They helped me find something to order and we just talked about the usual…where I was from, what was I studying back home, do I like it here, and all that stuff. I asked them the same vague questions and it seemed to be going well. It was weird, like I was some celebrity because I was the only white guy, surrounded by 7 Thai girls, and ..yeah so it was a bit weird, but I got over it. So we talked a bit, and Fon was nice and easy to talk to, and also her friend Bo, the only two names I can remember. So we left there about 12, I had class at 12:30, so we departed and I said we could hang out again anytime, if they wanted to do something. I walked over to the canteen because I still had about 20 minutes till class started, and I met up with some people I knew and talked a bit. Then headed up to the class, Society and Economy, and waited for the class before me to get out, because they are always behind schedule and our class usually doesn’t start until 12:40-45. Well we had class, and I learned more about “society and economy” and then I went down with Josie and Anna to get some lunch. I wasn’t too hungry, but I always take advantage of the cheap food there while I can, because once I go back to my apt from school it is hard to find a cheap decent meal within walking distance. So we ate and talked for about an hour, and I walked to the library and did the internet thing, and then went upstairs to meet Fone, for she said she wanted to tutor me in Thai at 4pm. So I waited and called her cell and no answer, so I walked to the soccer field where they were having a game and watched about 15 minutes of it. Then called her again, no answer so I headed back to my apt. Once I got there I got a call from her saying she left her cell phone at home and couldn’t meet me because she wasn’t feeling too well. So that’s cool, not a problem. I got word that some people were meeting down stairs to eat some dinner at 8pm, but I didn’t really know. Moo called me and said she would be coming over, so me and Jason said we would eat with her. When she got here, Fone called and said she was coming over to meet some people to eat in the restaurant underneath our building, so we went downstairs and meet with Fone, but me, Jason and Moo went to a Vegetarian restaurant, The Cozy house of course. We ate there and I had sticky rice for dessert again, and felt a little sick for eating so much throughout the day, but I couldn’t resist the sticky rice. After we were done we went back to Ruen Indra and Moo went home. I had been doing some water color painting of a lotus throughout the day, and I finished that tonight, and then read for a bit and went to bed around 1am again.
Today I have a class, Society and Economy at 12.30, so there’s not much to do before then. I ate some of the pineapple and bananas we bought at the market for breakfast, my usual morning snack. Went to class and it was pretty good. It seems fairly easy and the teacher is good at thoroughly explaining things. After class me and a couple of people at down in the cafeteria and we went to the office to get some books copied. After that I went out on my own to the library and check some mail and such. Then walked around outside a bit, and after sweating so much I decided to go back to my apt. Met up with Jason there and we just vegged out for a few hours. A lot of people were going out for this one guys 21st birthday, but I declined. This girl down the hall had just bought a small guitar so we went to the roof of the building to play a bit. I showed her what I knew, but my style is really not technical and I don’t know the name of any chords. We played for about a half hour then she went back down and I decided to say on the roof. It was about 9pm by then and you could see the whole skyline of Bangkok. The building is about 8 stories high, and it is pretty peaceful and calm up there. So that’s my new relaxation spot. Back in Richmond everytime I wanted to get away I would go up to the top of the VCU parking garage and just watch everything from up there. But here in Bangkok it is hard to find a spot where there is an open space, with no people, and no motor noises. So this was it and I laid out on the picnic table up there and just stared up at the stars, or what little I could see of them. I have noticed every time I looked up in Bangkok I have never seen the moon, not even once. And still I laid there wondering if some clouds were covering it or it was a new moon, but I have never see it. I fell a sleep a bit on the table with my guitar on my stomach, very blissful. I opened my eyes again and decided that I should go back because I didn’t know how long I had been up there for. Got back to my room and read some more. I had finished Walden, and am halfway though The Prophet now, and also almost done with the energy book. I also have reading to do for my classes but I don’t have the books yet, but its not a problem. Stayed up until about 1am and then drifted off to sleep.
Saturday August 14, 2004
Woke up at 8 with nothing really to do, so I went back to sleep. Woke up again to the phone ringing at about 10.30, it was for Jason of course because no one has been able to call me yet. I read a bit more and then decided to go get on the internet downstairs and sent out some emails. Someone has been interested in buying my beetle, so I hope that it can work out. When I was leaving I peaked in and saw a few friends in the restaurant, so I sat and they told me about all the crazy stuff that they did last night. They ate dinner at a pretty expensive restaurant on the river, and then went to “Club Hip-hop” and said that they had a good time, drinking and dancing on the tables and such. Brandon told me that in the bathrooms there they had a guy put a hot towel on your neck, and also rub and crack your neck all while you are standing at the urinal. Interesting, they said it was a bit awkward. A couple of the guys were headed out to PATA Department store to get some groceries so I decided to go along with them. I went up to my room to see if Jason wanted to go with us, but he was asleep on the bed. I yelled “Jason” and he woke up quickly, then I laughed and told him we were going if he wanted to come. But I know he takes about a half hour to get ready before we go anywhere so he said he would meet us there, in the supermarket section. We traveled there and got our food stuffs and whatnots, I waited around for Jason but never saw him. The other guys wanted to go to McDonalds, so I followed them into that gross place but didn’t get anything. We then took a taxi back because we had many bags of things, and I got back to the apt with no sign of Jason. Me and Brandon made plans to go see a movie later and get some food at the “Central” department stores. I just chilled in my room and Jason showed up a half hour later with some more food, some good rations. I bought a bunch of nuts and raisons and dried fruit to make a trail mix, good stuff. We just kicked back in our room for a few hours and I caught up on readings. Then at about 6pm I went up to Brandons room to see if he wanted to go. Jason wasn’t feeling up to it was just Brandon and me. We took the bus for 5B for probably 10 minutes till we got to the right area, we just followed all the masses of people and saw where they were headed. We walked around the Mall and found an Italian restaurant, which was not so Italian, and sat down to eat. I ordered regular spaghetti, and Brandon got a Hawaiian pizza. The servings were small and bland, and didn’t fill me up so I had, had to, get a slice of apple pie, which was also not so good. We went to the theater in the mall to get the tickets to see Collateral, we paid 120B, about $3. I got some popcorn and bottled water for a total of 50B. Our theory of “Thai Time” was reinforced, I’ll explain. You see all of us international students agree that the Thai people run on a relaxed version of standard time. Everything starts and people arrive later than the scheduled time. The movie ticket said 8:45pm, so we tried to get in at 8:35, as in the U.S. you show up a couple of minutes before that time because the movie theoretically starts at that time. Well apparently not here, the theater wasn’t ready until 8:45, where we finally sat down as the only people in the theater, then waited 10 mins until the commercials started playing, then finally the previews. This took about 30 more minutes, and also the National anthem is played before every movie. We were watching previews when all of the sudden music started playing and people started standing up, so I just followed along and there was a 3 minute film and anthem about the Thai king, this was a worthy tribute and a good experience. The move finally started, by the end I was waiting for it to be done. I thought it was good, but just another flick, nothing new. We walked out of the theater and everything in the mall was closed up and it was pretty dark. We had a hard time figuring our way out, because the main entrance was already closed and locked. A guard had to show us the way out through a parking garage and out the back. We finally escaped and walked to see if the busses were still running. We decided to take a Tuk-Tuk back, for 30B. These are always fun to ride in, because its like a go cart and these guys always drive like they are in a race, swerving in and out and cutting people off. We got there quick though, and all in one piece. I said goodnight to Brandon and then went back to my room. Told Jason about the movie and did some more reading. There was a note from the girl down the hall that a bunch of people were going to meet at Thammasat at 11 to go to the “Weekend Market”, supposedly a big marked about a half hour away. I set my alarm and went to sleep.
Sunday August 15, 2004
Woke up before my alarm and just stared and took a while to gain consciousness. I had a few weird dreams that night and also a hard time sleeping. One dream that I can remember is that I had come back from Bangkok to Richmond. I was walking around the streets and I found Meaghan walking with her new friends, she wad dressed differently, like popular or Britney Spears like. She was also smoking and she ran away from her friends to see me. But it was weird then and we were mad at each other and we both had changed. We were both distant but finally we broke down and just laid on the grass together, I was holding her in my arms and we were sleeping. Next thing I remember I woke up hugging my pillow thinking it was Meaghan, I wanted to go back to sleep and dream I was holding her, but I couldn’t do it. That was a bit depressing cause I do miss her and it reminded me of being home. Also had another dream where we were, well I don’t remember but Rob was a pilot and we flew out of our house because the area was flooding for some reason. So I got ready and headed out to meet people at Thammast for the Weekend Market. I got there and Thai Time was again at work. I met some people that were going, but we didn’t leave until about 11:40. There was about 20 of us cramming into 2 vans that could sit 8 people, but it worked out ok and the trip was about 20 minutes. When we got there I saw the masses of people and the large tents and vendors all sprawled out through this area. They dropped us off and the Lady that was in charge said to meet at this one spot at 5pm. Ok, so was about noon time and we had five hours to walk through this market, that was just too much for me since I rarely enjoy shopping and there was stampeding people everywhere. I sucked it up and followed a few people until I was eventually by myself wandering through the endless valleys of people selling you things you didn’t know you needed. I will admit there were some cool shops with original handiwork, but most were just masses of manufactured chopsticks or purses. There was also a whole pet section, where I was a bit heart broken to see these baby animals being sold like meat. There were a lot of different types of species if you would like to know I shall list the types of animals that I can remember seeing: dogs, cats, rabbits, turtles, snakes, rodents, lizards, fish, arachnids, scorpions…and several sub species of those animals. I petted the furry things for awhile then moved on to other sections, I walked around and bought a few items but nothing big, but all of the 5 hours I walked constantly without ever seeing the same vendor twice. That was how big this thing was. I eventually realized that I had no clue where I was so at around 4pm I decided to find the meeting point, and it took all of the whole hour to find it. I got there and waited a while for more people in my group to show up. Then once we were all gathered we took a taxi to this big department store where we would all be eating. We had one huge table with all of us sitting, so it was like we took over the restaurant. The place was called MK, and was an upscale place too. The bill was to be paid by the school, so no worries about ordering too much. The school ordered the classic Thai meal there, which consisted of a bunch of meats thrown in a pot cooking right on our table, so it was a kind of stew, with a lot of seafood. So I just ate some noodles that were served separately and had a lot of green tea. We all finished and took awhile to gather together, and then took the brand new subway to a station where the vans were meeting us. The Bangkok subway had just opened a month earlier so none of the Thai students knew exactly how to use it. But we got it figured out and got to the right station alright. We got into the vans and rode back to Thammasat. By this time it was about 9pm, so I walked to the ferry and got back to my apt on time. When I arrived at the building and went up to the room, I found that the door was locked and Jason had gone out with the key. See we only have one key for the room, and when either one of us goes out we leave the key at the front desk, so who ever returns first can pick up the key. Well not this time, Jason had forgot to leave it at the desk, but they had an extra key and I got in Ok. So now I have to find out where Jason went, it is Sunday night and he usually doesn’t stay out too late. I waited a while before I started calling around for him, but then he came back at around 11pm. It turned out that Moo called looking for me to do something with, but since I wasn’t there Jason went instead. They had lunch, then went to a play at the school (which apparently was all in Thai and about protection and some gang people), Jason said the play was pretty funny even though he couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then he ate dinner with her and got back, so it turned out he had a good time which I was glad to hear. I was really tired from the long day out in the heat walking for miles so I showered and went to bed.
Monday August 16, 2004
Woke up at about 8:30am because I had class at 9:30 with Jason. The class was Buddhist Institutions and it was the first class because it was cancelled last week. We arrived a bit late and had to sit in the back, there were already a lot of people there and the teacher didn’t expect that many to be signed up. Well we got the overview and talked about some topics, and had a break in between. This class is only one day a week, but three hours long. The professor is American, but has been living in Bangkok for 12 years. He is a practicing Buddhist and knows quite a bit about the subject, the class is going to be specializing in Thai Buddhism (there are different sects just like Christianity), and this type of Buddhism I am unfamiliar with, so it should be a good course. We got done then I went to pick up some books that I had requested to be copied for my society and economy course, two books for a total of 460B. I then went with a few people to eat lunch at the cafeteria. I got the vegetarian food, which is always fantastic, and also a Boba fruit Shake. I was thrilled to find out that the cafeteria sells them, just like T T lounge in Richmond, and they are only 10B here, so that is amazing. The lady knows me know because I have stopped there frequently, so far my favorite flavor is blueberry, but they have quite a variety. My next class started three hours later so I went to the library a bit, then went to the international office to talk to the people there. Moo was there and I talked to her a bit, and she had given me a flash card with basic Thai words that I would need for ordering in a restaurant, and the written Thai words so I could show it to people also. It said that I was a vegetarian, and also a Vegan, or “ken-jae”. I know quite a bit now and am starting to feel comfortable conversing the standard good day and thank you and how much and all that. I am still learning the numbers, but it comes quick when you are living in the place where you actually use the language every day. So I got some tutoring with her, and then headed to my civilization class. This class is going to be a hard one, because of the unfamiliar names and places, just the phonetics will be hard to remember. This class was only a hour and half, all of constant note taking. But not bad to learn some new things about the country you are living in. So after that I just headed back, by then it was 5pm. I saw this street restaurant that looked fairly appetizing, all they made wad Pad Thai. Oh by the way I always thought that Pad means peanut, but now I know it means fried. So just remember that. Well I told him I didn’t want any meat in Thai, just tofu and the basics. It was pretty good stuff, but not a large enough portion to fill me up. It cost 45B, which for street food is expensive. I headed back to my apt and saw that some black clouds were rolling in. Just a quick rain storm, as usual for the rainy season. I arrived back at my apt. a little moist but refreshed, and while I was waiting for Jason to get back I played the guitar for a bit. Then Jason arrived and we decided to go get some food at a restaurant we have never been before. I got Brandon to come along and we walked until we saw some place that looked decent. There was no one inside and the staff was all over us. They waited over the tables until we decided, while one of the guys seemed to be in charge, telling the waitresses what to do. He was pointing at the menu trying to get us to order things that were more expensive. I ordered pineapple fried rice. Sounded good and it came inside a hollowed pineapple, which was cool too, but it had chunks of meat in it, not a lot so I just sucked it up and took the pieces out which were easy to decipher. The guy made Brandon eat the “right” way, he took his plate and put the rice in the bowl and then put the vegetables and meat in with the rice. But that was weird because it just grabbed the plate and did it for him, and also he yelled at Jason for putting soy sauce on the rice, because apparently that is only a Chinese tradition, not a Thai one. Once they were out, the rice was pretty good. It had pineapple and peanuts in the rice, which was quite delightful. I also ordered some hot jasmine tea, all this cost me about 110B, this was fairly expensive and I don’t think I will go back to this restaurant to eat any time soon. Well anyway me and Jason decided to go to Pata to get a new battery charger for his rechargeable batteries. We got everything taken care of and took a taxi back. Then just stayed in for the rest of the night, typing and reading.
Tuesday August 17, 2004
Not much today. I have a class at 12:30, Art and archaeology. This class was pretty large, compared to the rest of my classes, and it was three hours long. The teacher is pretty good, she told us that we will be learning art history, thai history, archaeology, and thai architecture. We will also be having two field trips to go see some old temples and ruins, so I am looking foreword to that. After I got out of class, I ate some food in the cafeteria, and of course got a boba shake. Then I walked around with Jason to Cosaun Rd because he wanted to get something. So we walked around a bit and I tried looking for this Vegetarian restaurant that I ate at before, The Cozy House, but I couldn’t find it amongst the masses of buildings and vendors. So we continued to walk and decided to stop at a different place that had some vegetarian food, we had eaten there before and the prices are really cheap. I got sweet and sour vegetables with noodles, it was almost like a soup, all for 35B. Jason took a taxi back to the apt and I decided to walk a bit more, and walk back to the apt. I do a lot of walking, as you may have noticed. But I like it better than taking taxi’s all over the place. So I get back to my apt alright, but really sweaty, it was really humid and sunny. Then I get all cleaned up and decide to type a little, and read some of my Economy and Society text book, which is pretty good stuff. Talking about the makings of society and the history of economy and what systems people employed to fulfill their needs. I at first though it was Thai economy and society, but it is really global economy and society, so it is not too difficult. Well anyway, it was about 8pm and we got a call, usually no one calls me so I figure it was for Jason. It turned out to be a girl I had met the day before, just for a few minutes at lunch and she had asked where I was living, so I guess she got the phone number and decided to give me a call. So that’s a little weird, but Thai people are extremely friendly like that, but still I was suspicious. Her name was Fone, it means rain in Thai. She asked if I wanted to come over to her apartment with her friend to watch a movie, so I really had no good excuse at hand and agreed. Jason didn’t want to come and thought I was crazy for going, but I am up for any experience, but know my limits and when to get out of a situation. So she and her friend met me at front of my building and we took a taxi to her apt building, only like 5 minutes away. We got there and it was awkward at first, but they were normal kids like me and we got along good. They made fun of me for just coming over when I didn’t know any of them that well, but I argued that they called me so they couldn’t call expecting me to say no. But it turned out that they did expect me to say no, but whatever. So she pulled out her guitar and they sang a few songs, oh another thing about Asian countries, karaoke is really big and they are used to just singing for fun and memorizing words to famous songs, so they expected me to know a lot of songs and I didn’t. They laughed because they know more American lyrics than I do, and I’m American. But they turned out to be good kids, not party animals like half the people I meet here, and they just like hanging out in small groups. I got to know them pretty well, her friend’s name was Gift. She is Thai also, but has a British accent because she studied there for 2 years, its just weird to hear a Asian person speaking good English but in a British accent. We watched Euro-Trip, which was a good laugh. So it turned out to be a good idea, because I met some people that I’m not afraid to hang out with, they are going to tutor me in Thai. We talked about Buddhism and what I knew, and about vegetarianism and whatnot. I got back around 2am, so Jason thought I was dead. Well that’s about it, I went to sleep…out.
Wednesday August 18, 2004
Not much happened today, just a regular schedule of classes. I woke up and finished The Prophet, I underlined a bunch of good quotes and it is an amazing book to read. After that I went to go eat some fruit at the cafeteria on Thammasat, then I had class at 12:30, Society and Economy. After that I ate lunch and talked to some people, then I went to the library for a bit and got on the internet. Then I headed back to my apt. It was raining, as the usual afternoon rain shower had come in. Sometimes it is a constant downpour for a half an hour, but it is usually just a little rain for 10 minutes, then light sprinkles for a little bit afterwards. But when there are downpours the streets get flooded quick, kind of like Richmond. When a huge portion of the land is covered with cement and paved over, then the water is not absorbed easily into the earth. So many streets fill up quickly and it is hard to maneuver around these swimming pools. The cars and mortocycles go slightly slower, but you sill have to watch yourself because they create giant waves of slimy street water, which can also soak you. Some people have mentioned that the rain irritates their skin or eyes, because of the pollution, but I don’t feel anything abnormal. It is good when it comes along because it cools down the air a bit and it is easier to tolerate. Well I got back mildy wet and changed. Then talked to Jason about what we could do, so I suggested going to a vegetarian restaurant that I had been to before. So we just took it easy in our room for a bit. Then we I got a call from Fone, seeing what we were up to. I said we might go out to eat and anyone could join us if they wanted to. But by then it had started raining again, pretty hard, so we decided that we were just going to eat at the bottom of our apt building. So Fone was getting a cold and she didn’t come, it was just me and Jason. We walked down to eat and we were surprised by Moo and Joe (Joe works at the international office), who had come by to see us. They came bringing gifts, some Thai music CD’s and some Thai desserts. So that was awfully nice of them to come over in the rain. We sat down and ate together, I had the usual of Pad Thai with Tofu. We were down there for about an hour, then went said goodnight and thanked them for coming over. The desserts they gave us were pretty good also. One was gelled coconut pressed and grilled between pieces of palm tree leaves. You open the leaves and pull out the coconut filling, not bad. The other was more of a candy, they were little shapes of fruits and vegetables that were gelled over and shiny looking. They turned out to be made of a bean related curd mixed with sugar cane, they were pasty and interesting, but good to have one or two. After we said good night we went up to the room to finish a few things and then went to sleep.
Thursday August 19, 2004
I had Thai Civilization at 12:30 and then Thai Boxing at 2pm. The Thai Boxing class sounds like it is going to be awesome. It is actually a class, where you get graded and tested. The first class we had was just in a classroom, to get us informed as to what we had signed up for. The teacher is great and I am surprised that he would be teaching at a university. He had been light weight champion in Thailand several times and had gone to the Olympics a couple of times also. His brother is also one of the best Muay Thai Boxers in the country and even won a Gold medal in Atlanta in the last games. They were both trained by their father who was also a great boxer. So this guy knows his stuff, but he doesn’t know a lot of English, so there is a translator there also. He went over the course and what we would be learning. He said at the end of the course we will go see a real match at one of the biggest stadiums in Thailand, the teacher has free entrances there because he was once champion. He said that there are only three places where you can see real Thai Boxing in Thailand, the kind with the gambling and hardcore fighters. So we have to learn the techniques and scoring before he takes us, but I am looking forward to it. We watched a video, and it showed some techniques and it looks like it will be a challenging course. After we got out of that I was walking out and back to my apt when I met Fone and Gift on campus. We made plans to go out to a Vegetarian place that served Thai and Indian dishes. So I got back and told Jason to come, but he wanted to say and read and take notes for his Thai history class. I met up with Anna and Dane from my building and they came with me. Anna is also a vegetarian; she is from northern California, U.C. Santa Cruise. Dane is from the Chicago area, and kind of a 90210 Beverley Hills type of guy, takes a half hour to do his hair, but he’s a decent guy once you get to know him. So we met up with Fone and Gift at the pier because we were going to take a boat to the restaurant. It costs 10B to get on the faster boats that go down the river, as opposed to the ferries with just go across the river to the other side. We stayed on for about 8 minutes and got off and walked a couple of streets to the restaurant. It was called Healthy Food, vegetarian restaurant. So that’s cool. We were the only ones in there and the way you order food was interesting too. They had pictures of the dishes and the names on two large pillars centered in the restaurant. So you go look at the pictures and point at the one that looks the most appetizing to you…ha I’d never thought I would be ordering my food off a pillar in a restaurant. But it was a more informal / cafeteria style restaurant so it some how worked. I got something that was imitation squid, which I didn’t know when I ordered it. There was long tentacle like protein strips in with rice and vegetables. It wasn’t bad at all, but a little chewy. We also got some tea that was excellent. After that we all got a taxi back to our Apt building and we had a jam session. Dane had a harmonica and Fone also plays the guitar, Gift can sing, and Jason had bought a wooden flute at the market that is like a recorder. So we were all trying to sound good, but it didn’t work out so much, but it was fun. So we then decided to go out and play some pool, down by Cosaun road. We went into this place called Shamrock’s, a bar/restaurant. They had a live band playing, a Thai band covering American rock songs, like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blink 182, and Offspring. It was funny to hear, but it was pretty good stuff. The pool table had a lot of people in line so we went somewhere else after hearing a couple of songs. The girls knew a small place where there would be little people, so we headed there. We eventually found a good place, and got to play a few games of pool. We decided to leave at around 12:30, and got a cab back to drop off Gift and Fone and then we took it back to our place. I got in and Jason was on the phone with his family, and told me that I had miss a call from my mom. Ah, the first time she gets through and I wasn’t there! Well it sounds like I have a package on the way. I got cleaned up and went to sleep.
Friday August 20, 2004
I woke up at about 9am, Jason was still sleeping. I got up and had to write an answer to a question, about a page in length, for Society and Economy. I finished and Jason was still sleeping, he had class at 11:30 and he usually leaves at about 1030, but it was already 10 something and he was still sleeping. So I debated weather I should wake him up or not, but I decided not to because he’s can handle his own. So I just typed a bit more in my journal and herd him slowly waking up at around 1030, and then herd him say “ah shoot”. I guess he realized he was a little behind. I also have been thinking about his passport, his expires the 26th of this month and he has to get his visa renewed before that time or they will fine him or kick him out of the country, but he needs to learn to take care of his own situation, it’s a tough lesson but someone’s got to teach him. He’s 22, and this is the first time he has lived on his own away from his parents. I’ve gotten the impression he is not used to too much responsibility beyond school work and his own interests. He leaves our stuff everywhere and dishes on the floor because it is easier for him to get things if they are down lower, I don’t mind it but we only have one fork and one spoon, and we agreed to clean them after any use…but I don’t yell at him, I just don’t tell him when he’s gonna get deported…so it seems fair enough. Well anyway he took a taxi to school because it was quicker, and I had class at 12:30 so I left around 11:45. I got to Thammasat and waited for the class before me to get out, as they usually run late and our class starts late. After class I ate some vegetarian food and then talked a bit, about any plans for tonight. I went to go get the Thai language book copied that Brandon lent me, because I am not taking the class but I still want to learn it. Then I went to the library to check email and send some out. Then I walked back to my apt. My new thing everyday is stopping and picking up some fried bananas at this lady right next to my apartment. She knows me now, and there is always a guy there too, they don’t speak English well, but it works out. I say good day to them and then “Glouy”, which means banana and I get a bag of the small fried ones, fresh, for 10 B. It’s a good amount of them too. But today after she handed me the bag and I handed her the money, she held up one and said “Ba-nan-A?”..i didn’t know what she meant but she kept repeating it. Then I figured out she was asking if that is what you call it in English…so I said “ohh, banana, Ka, ka”.. ka means yes. The they laughed and I went on my merry way back to my apartment. I think I’m addicted to these, they are really good and sometimes I put peanut butter on them, but Jason seems to think that is repulsive. They are really greasy though, but everything here is fried or grilled so I guess there is no other option. I have had some grilled bananas too, with a sweet coconut marinade; these are good too, but not as good as the fried and battered ones, I think there is a little coconut shredded on them too with some sesame seeds. Mmmmm’. Well I just read a bit and waited for a call from anyone to see if they wanted to do anything. I took a little nap, for about an hour. Then decided to call Fone to see if she was done working, but no answer. So I called Gift and she answered and said that she was just around Thammasat looking at the shops, so we decided that we were hungry, and I told here just to wait there a bit and I would gather Jason and Brandon to come along. So we left and headed to Thammasat, took the ferry and by this time it was about 7:45, and we met her at the pier by the university. We walked to a restaurant down the street. It had a tea house atmosphere, relaxed feeling. It did in fact have a wide selection of tea, which was good and also some vegetarian dishes. The restaurant was not that big, probably only 6 tables or so, but it had a tree in the middle with stones around it, so when you had to walk by you ducked under the tree. The whole restaurant was enclosed though, and air conditioned. We got our food and the meal was good, and not too expensive. I think my drink and noodle dish cost me 80B. After there we decided to go back to meet up with Fone at her apartment, the same building where Gift lives. We listened to music and played some of our own. We had gotten word of a “party” that this guy Nathan was having for his new apartment at Three J court. About a block away from where we were. Basically most of the international students would be there, so we were going to check it out. Jason and I don’t really go to these things because it is nothing special, just people getting drunk and screaming obscenities. We decided to head over there at about 11pm, and we walked through some weird areas to get there, the back alleys. The girls explained that they were massage parlors, the ones with a “happy ending” is what they called it. Ha, so it was funny to walk by and see all the taxi’s waiting out front and all the scandalous activity that goes on there. We got to the apartment and the security guy knew about the party and greeted us and escorted us to the elevator. That’s another difference here about how people act, I guess they all like to party, but they didn’t care about all these people in the apartment building drinking and being loud, in fact it is almost like they encourage it. When we got upstairs we said hello to a bunch of people and I talked to Nate, he is in 3 of my classes and a funny guy, but he likes to have a good time also. He told me that when he asked the management of the building if he could have a party they got excicted and gave him a few cases of beer. That was nice of them. Well there was probally 30 people or so in this upstairs lounge area, where his room was next to. I made my rounds and talked to the people I knew and refused drinks every 2 minutes or so. Jason didn’t enjoy the scene so he just left and I didn’t get to talk to him about where he was going or anything. By then it was about midnight. I found Fone and Gift again and we decided that the party was a bit boring so we decided to just go to Cosaun rd, actually I found out it is spelled Khaosaun. We walked around and saw all the night life, there were a lot of people out, locals playing guitar on the street and may people selling various items. We went into a couple of places but all of them were crowded, so we got fed up and just went back to Fone’s apartment. Then she called one of her European friends, who was having a little get together, not a party. Ha, I guess that is one difference between Americans and Europeans, they just get together and relax and have a few beers. Unlike American college students who get drunk and wasted, these guys are used to the accessibility of alcohol and don’t look at it as a big thing. So we headed over there and it was a nice place. They were on the 16th floor, and had an amazing view of the city. They had a huge bay window in each of the two rooms. They got hooked up because one of the guys from Holland gave a soccer jersey to one of the managers, and they somehow got one of the nicest rooms in the whole building. So, again, that is how they do it here. Me and Brandon were the only Americans there, but we got along alright. They asked us why all the Americans always hang out together, but we countered that all the Europeans hang out together. So they agreed, but there were no hard feelings. Some dutch, germans, sweedish, finnish, and the like were lounging around. All the girls looked the same, blonde hair, tall, and …Europeanesk beauty, but lacking something. A few of the girls came and talked to me and Brandon, and most of them are from the business program at Thammast, not the Thai studies, so we never really had seen them before. We mingled a bit with other guys, and met two Espens…which means Bear in Finish. One of the guys actually lives in our building, Ruen Indra, on the Third floor. He’s one of the less arrogant and rowdy Europeans. People slowly trickled out and we and three other guys were left, it was about 4am. We got in with Heiner, the guy who lived in the place. He is in Brandon’s Thai language class, so they had known each other before. But I just had met him and he’s an interesting fellow. We agreed to hang out again, and Fone and Gift said that since he had a kitchen we could have a traditional Thai dinner party. I want to learn how to make some Thai vegetarian food, or even the Pad Thai with tofu. Well we said goodnight and left and headed back to Ruen Indra, with Gift and Fone. We went to Dane’s room and just listened to music and looked at his digital pictures of everything he had done here. Gift left at like 5:30 because she had to get a bus down to her parents in southern Thailand at 8am, but the bus ride would be something like 11 hours, so she planned on sleeping then. I went outside and watched the sun rise and admired the scenery from the balcony, and heard the roosters right next to our building crowing. A perfect morning in Bangkok. I headed down to my room at around 6am, and was surprised to find Jason still awake, typing on his computer. He had been awake the whole time. When he left the first party, he walked a bit and then took a taxi to Khaosaun Rd. to check out the scene there and got a watercolor character of himself, which we agreed we had to get one later of us together. So we eventually went to sleep and closed the curtains to keep the approaching sunshine out of our cave, in which I proceeded to hibernate for the next week.
Saturday August 21, 2004
I woke up on and off during the next few hours, but eventually got up around 12:30. Fone called and asked if we wanted to go to Nuan Luan, a night bazaar tonight. I said alrighty then. I had to go pick up a book that I was getting copied at Thammasat, so I left to go there at around 3pm. I walked to campus, picked up the book and got a boba shake, then walked to the market to pick up some bread and bananas for the upcoming week. I got back at around 4:30 and asked if Brandon wanted to go with us to the market. He said “cool, whatever”, because we were all still sleep deprived that nothing much mattered. I went and took a bit of a nap until we were going out. We talked to Fone and decided to meet at around 7 by the Chang pier, next to the Grand Palace. We got there and met up with Fone, Gok-kai, and Vesa, her boyfriend from Finland. This guy is pretty Finnish looking, long blond hair with big hands and big feet, and tall too. He spoke good English and was pretty funny throughout the night. We sat down at an outside restaurant and I got the usual, Pad Thai with Tofu. After we ate we headed to Thammasat where we were going to me Heiner, and his Brother Espen, they were going to go with us to the night bazaar. On the way I stopped at a Thai bookstore and got a children’s Thai alphabet book, to trace and color and learn the Thai letters. When we were leaving the bookstore it started to rain, and it advanced to a down pour. We ran through the rain to meet the guys at the “canteen”, and we waited there until it slowed down to a drissle. Then we set off to the Nuan Laum market. We took taxis and it was about a 20 minute drive. We got there and decided to get something to eat first, so we went to “Safari Steakhouse”, my first choice as you may have guessed. I just got a fruit salad and some fried cashews, while others were ordering crocodile steaks. After that we split up and walked around for only about 30 minutes because by then it was about to close. They shut down at midnight, so we met up…and everyone except me, Brandon, Jason, and Fone were left. So we took a taxi to her apartment and watched a depressing movie, Thirteen. Well after it was over we looked at Fone and she was asleep, so we snuck out at about 3am and she didn’t even wake up. We got back to our apt, and I went to sleep. The next thing I know the phone is ringing and it was about 7am Sunday morning. It was Fone and she had just woken up and realized we were not there, so I laughed at her and we had a 4 minute talk about something …but we were both half asleep so I said I would talk to her later and then I went back to sleep.
Sunday August 22, 2004
“Ring, Ring, Ring”…eh someone is calling me again. Jeez… I pick up the phone and to my amazement it was Meaghan! So we had a long talk about what’s been interesting in our lives and what’s not so interesting. The pone line cut out a few times, because for some reason my line here wont let you have a continuous conversation for more than 20 or 30 minutes. Well it reached a point where I had to leave the room and call her from the international phone booth down the street. By that time it was about 11:30 and we had to say our usual torturous goodbyes, with our hearts not knowing which way is home. I left the phone booth not knowing what to feel, but I remembered that Moo was going to meet me and take me to a Blind children’s school. So I returned to Bangkok, as my head had been elsewhere. I got changed and met her at the bottom of my apartment. We took a taxi to the School, where I we could be volunteers and help out with anything during the day. When I arrived I was glad to be in a place that needed me, the blind children have enough charisma and love to make me smile a lifetime. I met a few kids and we had to organize them into groups of six. They were going to have a “field day” type thing, where they had to play games and such. I watched them play a relay game, as they had to pass a coke can after running around these two poles with ribbon tied between them, so they could feel their way along the ribbon. The fastest team would advance to the next round. As I was watching these games, someone came up to me with a blind girl on his arm, she looked about my age. He said she wanted to meet me, so I didn’t hesitate. He pulled her towards me and I held her hand as she introduced herself, and she spoke great English. She had been going to a college in England, and studying English for a year. So we talked about England and what she likes about it and if she had visited America. She seemed to enjoy talking with me and hearing why I was in Thailand and I certainly enjoyed her beautiful energy and holding her hand as we talked. After about 10 minutes her friend came back and they had to go so I said I was glad to have met her. After they left I went and found Moo, and we helped pass out snack to the kids. It was any one of the various kinds of chips, or nuts in a bag, and a small cup with orange liquid in it. After they ate, they held the trash in the air and we had to get it from them. Then after we didn’t have anything to do, we went out to get some lunch at a small side of the road place, and we both had Khao Rik Pad Puk, rice with fried vegetables. When we got back we saw they were all just hanging out and listening to music. I went over to another group of boys that were playing some guitars. All the kids here were in grades K-9. They were playing the guitar and singing pretty well, and I suppose they love to listen and play music. After a while they gathered in the cafeteria and listen to someone talk and they handed out little desserts to all the kids. Me and Moo went to another area to listen to one of the counselors, who is also slightly blind, play the piano for a bit. She was great, and she played some traditional Thai music. I was really tired by then, and I was drifting in and out of sleep. So Moo asked if I wanted to go, and I reluctantly said OK. So we said goodbye and got in a taxi back to my apartment. I thanked Moo for taking me to a great experience, and I went back to my place and took a nap for an hour, until 6pm. Then me and Jason went out to get some food, we took a taxi to Khaosaun Rd, where there is this good vegetarian restaurant, called Health for You, or something like that. I got this Tofu and vegetables sandwich, with also a peanut sauce on it…it was good but not that filling. So I had to get the amazing black sticky rice with coconut, banana and mango in a bowl with coconut milk. The sticky rice was warm, so it had the same effect as a warm brownie and cold ice cream. Ahh…I could go for some more right now actually. Well we finished that and walked over to Khaosaun Rd. because the place is close to, but not on the road. We looked around and bought a few items here and there and then got a taxi back. I read a little for my Buddhist institutions class, then hit the sack.
Monday August 24, 2004
I woke up at around 8am and had remembered through the night Jason had been typing and he actually went up the roof to type, and I heard him come back in at around 5 in the morning. So we both have Buddhist institutions at 9:30 and I debated waking him up. But I figured if he wanted to go he could get himself up, so I let him sleep. I got ready and it was about 8:40 and he hadn’t budged. So I left him and went to Thammast. I got some fruit and juice there and then made it up to class. At the halfway point in our class we took a 15 minute break, and I noticed Jason had come in when I got back from the break. I laughed at him and he was a little bitter, but nothing serious, he just said for me to wake him up next time if I don’t know what he’s doing. So after class I went and ate some lunch and waited for my next class to start at 15:30 (they use military time here so get used to it, I did). I went to the library for a bit, sent out some emails and read a little. I also had to write a few post cards. So I burned time until class started and then went to Thai civilization. After that class, I went down to the “canteen” and ate some really spicy vegetarian food, and had 2 bottles of water to wash it all down. I met Moo there and told here that me and Brandon planed on going back to the Night Bazaar because he wants to get things for his family. Brandon has decided to go back home and not stay the rest of the semester. He said that if he does a semester in Bangkok, then he has to do one more at his home institution. Otherwise he could just do one more at home and not another one, so he decided that it would be best if he goes back. So he leaves on Wednesday, and wants to get all the souvenirs before he goes back. He said he would also sell his cell phone to me for a 1,000B, which is good and I will probably buy it because it cost him about 2000B to get it all set up. So moo agreed to meet us at around 8pm to go to the market. I came back to the room and Jason wanted to go to the supermarket to get some food, so we walked to PATA and got what we needed. We took a taxi back and by then it was about 7:30. I cleaned the sweat off me and met with Moo and Brandon downstairs. We went to the market, Brandon went off on his own and me and Moo went to get some dinner. The only vegetarian stuff we could find was Pad Thai, and I was fine with it because it is one of my favorite dishes to eat here. So we ate and listen to the live band that was playing. After that we walked around and she got a call from her friend that co-owned a pet shop next to the market. So we walked over there and she had a few small and fluffy puppies to play with. They were miniature dogs, with very long hair so it almost seemed they were a moving shag carpet. When one laid down you couldn’t see its face or decipher its legs, it was just this mat of fur. We stayed for about 10 minutes then walked and looked at the shops for a bit until we found the spot were we were going to meet Brandon. After he showed up, we went back the apartment, but dropped Moo off first. By then it was about 10:30 and I got to my room, read some and typed some then went to bed at around 1am.
Tuesday August 24, 2004
I woke up at about 9am, and just putzed around, ate some peanut butter and jelly and some cereal, fruit loops, with a new kind of soy milk. It’s called Nature UP!, doesn’t sound delicious. Actually this kind is a lot better than the first one I got, which was sugar free and just not that tasty. This kind is made from soy, grain, and corn milk and it has some vitamins and calcium added, and it is also sweetened. So it’s pretty good, but it is really too sweet to have with fruit loops. So I read a bit and then headed to class an hour early, so I could talk to the international office. I went there and tried to pay for the trip this weekend that would be going to the floating market and to some caves. The guy I needed to see wasn’t there, so I had to come back later. I went to the canteen and met up with some people in my next class, and after a bit we went up there and low and behold my only class, Art and Archaeology, was cancelled. So I really had nothing to do, I went back down to the canteen, because I figured I might as well get some real lunch at the Vegetarian place, so I did and sat with some people. After that I went back to the international office to pay for the trip and the guy was finally there, so I got my ticket for this weekend. I also had seen a note up in the office that I thought may be for me. It reads: “To Michael, I sent you an email last week. Did you get it? Anyway, I wish to see you sometime, if you’re free. Call me O.K.!!! Fon Punyarat 01-3072926.” So I figured someone might be wanting to meet me, or it could be another Michael. So I decided to take the note with me this time, because I had seen it for the past week hanging up on the board. I grabbed it and went out, I had to drop off some paper for ISEP that had my classes on it so that the coordinator here could sign off on it. I found her office and greeted her and she told me to come back tomorrow because she had to verify the classes. So after that I went to the library a bit to check email and read some. Then I left and headed back to my apt. Brandon would be leaving tomarrow to go back home, so I wanted to see if he was going to hang out and do something before he left. I got back and he wasn’t in his room. So I called Fone to talk to her, the Fon that I had met before not the one from the note, and she wanted to say bye to Brandon too. So I waited to hear from him. I rested a bit, then Fone called me back and said that she talked to Brandon and he was coming back to the apt at around 8pm, so it was about 7 then and me and Jason were hungry. So we decided to go to a restaurant near Thammasat that Jason had been to before, and we took a taxi there. As we were walking to the restaurant Jason stopped at this street vendor that was selling delicious little insects, yes, bugs. He had crispy little critters, meal worms, beetles, cockroaches, and large grasshoppers. Jason got a bag of grasshoppers and the guy sprinkled some seasoning on them and sprayed them with soy sauce, so they looked pretty gross. We continued to this empty restaurant, that had a small stage set up for live music and the lighting was dim also. We sat down at these shakey tables and chairs and Jason tried the Grasshoppers, and said they actually were not bad, just crunchy but pretty good. I looked at the menu to keep from looking at the bag of insects on the table and noticed lack of vegetarian dishes. So I had the usual Khao Pad Puk, any place can make if even if it’s not on the menu. They put a candle on the table to increase the romantic feeling and then a guy and girl went on stage to start playing some music. It was weird because me and Jason were the only ones there, and it was like they were playing just for us. The guy was playing the piano and the girl was singing, it was pretty good but awkward because they were like 20 feet away from us. So after ever song she would say that her English wasn’t that good but asked if we like the song. We said yeah and smiled and waited for our food to come. When I got my plate I noticed that the rice with vegetables was molded in the shape of a heart, so that was also romantic. So we finished and all the while maybe one or two people came in to eat and they continued playing music. The meal was too expensive and not good enough for that price, my dish and a bottle of water were 90B, so I don’t think I’ll go back to that place again. We walked down the street and surprisingly saw two people from the international program, so we said hi and then two other people came walking from the other direction that I knew, one of them was Moo with her buddy Brenden, so it was weird to run into all these people just on the street. We talked for a bit, then me and Jason headed back to meet up with Brandon to see what he was up to. I got to the apt and went to his room and talked to him and bought his cell phone for a 1000B, and he was packing up to leave at 4am on Weds. Fone said she was going to stop by in a bit so I waited down in my room and decided to call the Fon from the Note that I found in the International office. I called not knowing if it was the Fon I knew or not because it was a different number. So some one answered and I said hello and introduced myself and why I was calling. It turned out that she was looking for her buddy named Michael also, but with a different last name. So I was a bit embarrassed and it was a little awkward but she asked if I wanted to meet anyway and I say what they hey, and decided to meet her for lunch at 11am at the international office. She asked if she could bring some of her friends so I said I didn’t care, and so…yeah im going to meet some random girl tomorrow, but I think it will be ok. I then called the other Fone to see where she was and it turned out that she was in the building at someone else’s room. So I she came down to my room and we went up to see Brandon. We talked for a bit and Brandon decided he wanted to go to Khaosaun one last time before he left. Fone had to go back and do some work, so just me and Brandon went, by this time it was about 10:45pm. We walked around and he got some fake Adidas that looked pretty good. For some reason all the shops had to close at 11pm, and the police was there to enforce it, so you couldn’t buy anything off the street past that time. I later found out it was just a temporary ordinance because they were on an electricity shortage or something, I’m not too sure. So I was a bit hungry because that plate of rice I ate with Jason didn’t really fill me up, I stopped by my regular place, 247 Thai, which is right off Khaosaun and they have cheap vegetarian food. I got Pad Thai and Brandon walked around until I finished. After that I walked outside to meet up with Brandon and ran into Dave, Mia, and another Michael that all live at Ruen Indra. So we talked and when we me up with Brandon we all took a taxi back. I said farewell to Brandon and wished him a good trip and a good life. That’s the last I saw of him, and so I went to my room and read some economics and then went to sleep at around 1am.
Wednesday August 25, 2004
So I wake up at about 9:30 and stare for a bit. Jason got up, got ready for class, then headed out at around 10:30. I had to meet the other Fon at 11, so I got ready too and left to go to Thammasat. I took the ferry as usual and was feeling a bit nervous, and wondering what I had gotten myself into. So I go to the international office to see if I can find her, but no luck. So I go upstairs to pick up my form from the ISEP coordinator, then head back down to the International Office, and as I was about to open the door a girl comes out and says “Are you Michael”, yes indeed, that’s me. So I meet her and she said she has some friends I can meet too. So we go around the corner and there are about 15 of her friends waiting there, like it was a surprise party or something. This was a bit overwhelming, I only expected 2 or 3 of her friends to come, but I went down the line and introduced myself while they told me each of their names, which I cant remember but 2 of them. So after that about half of them had to go to class, and just wanted to meet me, and the other half came with us to get lunch by the Prachan Pier, right outside Thammasat. We got to this nice little restaurant, and I think there were about 8 of us. I told them I was vegetarian, and I got the usual “Ohhhhh”, and they talked amongst themselves in Thai for a bit. They helped me find something to order and we just talked about the usual…where I was from, what was I studying back home, do I like it here, and all that stuff. I asked them the same vague questions and it seemed to be going well. It was weird, like I was some celebrity because I was the only white guy, surrounded by 7 Thai girls, and ..yeah so it was a bit weird, but I got over it. So we talked a bit, and Fon was nice and easy to talk to, and also her friend Bo, the only two names I can remember. So we left there about 12, I had class at 12:30, so we departed and I said we could hang out again anytime, if they wanted to do something. I walked over to the canteen because I still had about 20 minutes till class started, and I met up with some people I knew and talked a bit. Then headed up to the class, Society and Economy, and waited for the class before me to get out, because they are always behind schedule and our class usually doesn’t start until 12:40-45. Well we had class, and I learned more about “society and economy” and then I went down with Josie and Anna to get some lunch. I wasn’t too hungry, but I always take advantage of the cheap food there while I can, because once I go back to my apt from school it is hard to find a cheap decent meal within walking distance. So we ate and talked for about an hour, and I walked to the library and did the internet thing, and then went upstairs to meet Fone, for she said she wanted to tutor me in Thai at 4pm. So I waited and called her cell and no answer, so I walked to the soccer field where they were having a game and watched about 15 minutes of it. Then called her again, no answer so I headed back to my apt. Once I got there I got a call from her saying she left her cell phone at home and couldn’t meet me because she wasn’t feeling too well. So that’s cool, not a problem. I got word that some people were meeting down stairs to eat some dinner at 8pm, but I didn’t really know. Moo called me and said she would be coming over, so me and Jason said we would eat with her. When she got here, Fone called and said she was coming over to meet some people to eat in the restaurant underneath our building, so we went downstairs and meet with Fone, but me, Jason and Moo went to a Vegetarian restaurant, The Cozy house of course. We ate there and I had sticky rice for dessert again, and felt a little sick for eating so much throughout the day, but I couldn’t resist the sticky rice. After we were done we went back to Ruen Indra and Moo went home. I had been doing some water color painting of a lotus throughout the day, and I finished that tonight, and then read for a bit and went to bed around 1am again.
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