eeegggg....finals.i have pleanty of time, but i know i should be studying...eh. i dont really care, i'll just tell it how it is, if i learned stuff the i learned it. if not then theres no bother trying for just a grade..man i cant believe that its come down to this, a master race of bubble fillers, scantron kings, where letters and numbers tell me how much im worth and how smart i am. well i better go before im labeled as a failure just because i cant apply my learning through filling in circles with my pencil, my number 2 pencil because the machine that tells me how smart i am cant understand me if i use a pen.

so simple yet so true
its the afternoon sun glistening on skin that wishes to be devoured
if bliss had siblings they could hold everyones hand
alas, it turns me to see it not so, reality wears no mask
and yet it is the faces, of grim posture and degraded faith, that deliver me
at no extra charge i carry them in my pocket, to add wealth to my purse
thine eyes inspire, teach, and corrode my spirit like a father to his ill advised son
and whence set on a task, the child without walls first stumbles, then walks
learning from a stubbed toe, but at least to say there will be no more stubbed toes
it is of these men that I collectivley mold my dreams
using only the best of beards to filter wisdom
sticking quarters into slots of carbord signs designed to provoke at least some reaction
some reaction, i know not what others take, for my reaction has been a movement
the movement of wild birds to the south, for it tis not instinct that we cast our eyes south
by these who stutter, on willingness to please or hestitant for greetings,
make them the full bodied model that has eroused retinas
tis years of knowlege and pain and toothless smiles that sit not to be judged
for it is one of the simplest pleasures that we all have yet to discover
the luxury of time and watching fools hurry by pretending to be important
for i wish i were bold enough to take on the task to observe
my courage dwindles at their giving to us in need, blessings
tis so simple yet i know nothing more true
bliss sits on the corner blowing kisses only to acknowlegment

hey, my cat had her kittens!!! wicca pushed 3 of em out. Me and meaghan stayed up most of the night on friday watching Wicca, making sure she was doing alright. She had been acting funny all day, and we figured that she would have them anytime soon, she was licking herself alot and.. .um some fluid was visable. so we figured it was soon. Eventually she started going into labor Saturday morning at like 6am. She went over to her litter box and squated like she was goin poo, but her stomach was convulsing, so i picked her up and put her in the crafty box meaghan made, with a blanket and all. Well i guess wicca didnt understand what was goin on cause she kept going back to the box and we didnt want her to have the babies there. I put the litter box up on top of this counter. I then went to get some towels, and when i came back meaghan was yellin at me cause a kitten was popping out. Wicca was in the middle of the floor squezing the first kitten out. It made it out and wicca turned around and looked at it, and was startled or something cause she ran to her little box with the kitten attached by the cord..so it kinda draged and ploped into the box with her. So then wicca started licking it and then the plecenta came out with it attaching with the cord. She ate that up and bit the cord, which they are supposed to do, but it was gross..it looked like she was eating a kitten that was turned inside out. So the first kitten was the one that is all different stripes and colors. So she kept licking and like 5 mins later she started having the second one, which came out slow but good enough. So then she repeated the same with this kitten, which was all black and fat faced. This one was the loudest and kept squeeling, sounded like a bird and pig mixed together. So she licked it and bit the cord and all. After another 5 or 10 mins she started having another one, which wicca didnt even get up for. she looked tired and this one kinda slid out slowly, and she didnt pay too much attention to it...maybe she didnt even know it was there. eventually we pointed it out to her and she did her thing. this one was all grey and the only boy of the bunch. After they were all out , we took them and rubbed them with the towels and gave them back to the mommie. they drank her milk and wicca slept. they are so small and fit into the palm of your hand. their eyes dont open for about a week and they all are different colors.

"When we are a child, we are like a camel. the camel gets down on its knees, and baggage and many things are placed on its back. once it has as much as it can carry, the camel ventures out into the desert. Then it is the desert that turns the camel into a lion, and the more the camel carried the stronger the lion is. The lion then goes and fights the dragon, and "thou shall" is written on every scale of the dragon. The strong lion defeats the dragon, and ventures off to be the child again. free spirited, out on its own"
-some ancient proverb...its about life and socitey burdoning a person. Let me know what you fell it means..





A Generic Magazine Shop
Life needs to be turned on and my face is the switch plate
Is it revoultionary to be me without getting a handshake
All I see is you passing fears at the dinner table
Please pass the salt as air has had a better taste
Now, to wonder why we changed the style of fashion
I can't keep up with rules that run faster with pumped up shoes
I dont want to see my self in a magazine with someone who looks just like me
I was uneducated, cold bold faces attacked me like the day I was born
Now I know because of easily accessed words
Words that are repeated without my brain interfering
Really, it's not true, my secret path has been paved over
Im collecting the toll for a four lane highway
I'll allow you all to come in but my face wont budge
Ive stopped the electricty to my smile because my brain couldnt pay the bill
Tissue was writing checks that blood couldn't cash
Oxogyen pays the bills around here, and it was sent for a checkup
Spent all its cash on back alley plastic sergeons who told it what to be
The token brain was in the waiting room reading up on the latest type of cleavage
All while his thoughts were plotting a riot hoping for knowlege to go on vacation
Man has been blemished from the end of four feet - to four feet taller on two feet
Though it has always been said a beautiful berry is bad to eat
Why do we let our eyes be the landlord, how do they know when they don't see inside
Its time to be turned inside out, like a bad episode of star trek
Pinning my heart to my forehead would be less bloody than emotion starting a civil war
I just have to realize there is more to loose on the inside
So why does green sooth us so, so much so that fingers take on mind of their own
---or maybe its the mind taking on fingers of its own---

A midsummer's snow shower is always alone
For 7 days and 4 weeks and 9 months
Time is described as numbers without life
Just a visual aesthetic and the makings of a cage
4 letter words describe graffiti over graffiti
4 stall walls don't quite reach the ground
Dangled dust from falling trees dresses the cement
And all this shows more than one number intends
A year passes by like cancelled days on a calendar
Looking and hoping for the future to come
But it's stuck in traffic during rush hour going into the sun
And you're waiting at the door with lit candles on the table and roses
5 minutes late, 20 minutes late, an hour late
Late like the first time blood was missing
A feeling of number control, it has confined you with too many to count
Bubbles have a longer life expectancy when you don’t watch them
Just like a butterfly clock with red spotted wings
Beauty distracts and slips away with the color of leaves
Don't delay that run, skip, or jump for there may not be another chance
Verbs in a basket make a picnic to eat with fingers
Disbelief of the future leads you to the fountain of youth
So make haste and recycle metal on your wrist
The road to reality is not the next left at the oak tree; it's under your feet.

feeling this pressure
wanting to lay down and melt
feel everything around me
becoming the ground
blend in with the sand
skin turing to grains
dont want to be seen
but i feel everything
i want to become apart
laying down thinking of nothing
ignorant shall i read
to become so small
that nothing cares
about being blown with the wind
spread across the world
all different pieces
distanced so far
i want the feeling of one
becomming one by falling apart
strung in with this world
so common
no one sees
im ashamed to be named
in the same catagory
wanting the feeling of dirt
dust kicked about
moving on to where no one cares
becomming apart
now i just lie
extremedies spread
creating a kite
shutting my eyes
knowing im not here
im going somewhere
blending in with surrounding
thinking im no one
thinking im not even there
molecules connected
becomming apart