A Thorned Arsenal

While misery has a weapon to use
I’m not going to launch mine today
And if roses came with a second chance
I would just grow them for another time
What about singing in the rain
It makes me cold when there’s no warm by my side
It makes me cold when there’s no feeling inside

Sleeping Seat Belt

The dark side sees,
The dreams turn to a liquid that slowly leaks out of my ear.
Burning so much that plastic actions can’t retain them.
Only alone in a burnt hallway, locked doors,
Floor made of keys with no holes to put them.
Farther away quick sand lies, maybe they’ll see me,
Maybe I’ll be recognized as different, although all the rust remains the same.
I’m climbing a hill made of mirrors,
It forces my face to fight me,
I’m struggling with my self, struggling to:
Put on piercings through the frontal lobe,
The left half keeps me on my toes as to what purpose is,
The right, of course, distracts me from reappearing in my own dreams,
Birthing triplets make me hope that I may stop the cycle.
Help me find my rain so that I can return it to the sea,
Wherever it may be, It is the slightest sight that slides me away,
Like mud down a mountain, a mountain I will never reach.
The rain continues to drown me; it has been piercing all this time.
A bed of needles to pass the time through dreams that leak as they always have done,
Now, here, fear is a way of life and eternity has stolen my alarm clock.

An Essay on the Use of a Poetic Entropy

The simplest poem can contain one word and still hold every bit of meaning equal to a dissertation of those thoughts that invented it. Such poems can impact to a greater extent because they are not confined to a lesser standard of definition, they are more open, and adaptable to any single individual they may glance upon it. I shall give them the name of entropies, as the scientific term is a collective disorder energy. Such poems can emanate any possibility, and with a single word can come millions of thoughts and questions, and more of a movement than any description of standard poetic appeal could. Such “entropies” might be questionable with its traditional romantic appeal, but these are barriers that must be broken in order to gain a higher plane of thought. Punctual input can also change the perception of such a word; For instance, “Truth” can bear any number of meanings but when a word appears with a minute punctuation, like “Truth!”, this can cause a different path to break away in thought such as that the “truth” is found or a sort of in your face mocking, in which can alter your original structure of “truth”. Furthermore, the question mark and others are endless punctuations which can similarly give an alternate perspective; “Truth?”. The daily form of an entropy poem is graffiti. Common occurrences such as “Love” help spread thought in a place where no thought was previously given. Also, I might add a entropy doesn’t have to be a single word, but a compact statement that contains more than the words themselves. I once saw: “$ this is your god”, strewn across a walkway brick. This is the simplest form of publication, words which are placed in one geographic place, yet travel with the people who read them. Anything that which goes about provoking thoughts opposed to the government issued ones, can be seen as entropy, as they seek to give disorder or a bit of thinking “outside the box”.

Blackout

Blackout,
A little wisdom in my tea.
Unexplainable thoughts climb the highest sequoia tree
I say, it’s higher than being about conceptually.
No more E’s please.
Back on the track of catching these elusive joints,
The meeting of meaning and mania.
Of course, they fly right out of my head.
It's expected, but what I dare to do
What most do not, gain back what has escaped.
I’m being depleted, though most see it as an outlet.
Can’t help eating to fill the hole,
That was once finely outlined with basic tools.
It's all to obtaining the pyramid, to get to the peak
Once the base has been set, so is the highest point one can reach.
As in all things that have a beginning, there must be an end and another beginning.
At least to my empty cup of tea, but how can it be tea if it’s emptied?
Blackout.

Welcome to December. Cold is setting in, here in Richomd. Pleantiful to go around, and we will all get our share...aww I love it.

No Answers

In society you are given the answers, in nature you find the answers.
This is the ultimate in questioning, weather to receive the answers, or to obtain them. What can we do best but to only trust ourselves. Therefore, the answers society gives me is not good enough, collaborated minds may be worth something, but I will not have the proof. It’s a personal battle, that I can only see one defense, which is to shield myself from making my reality that of someone else. Making uninformed decisions as to reality is not reality at all. To gain a perspective on something, is to derive at a conclusion from previously gained knowledge, but where do we get this previous knowledge. Is it taught to us by someone who was taught by someone else, is there an underlying constant that just radiates the truth? The question I am asking here is how do we know what is truth and what is just an educated guess, a hypothesis to what we believe is real. There are answers that can be based on facts, this we call science. But to a student with no relation to these facts or initial observations that revealed these facts, it is meaningless. So for an individual, the knowledge of a particular fact can be gained by a passing along sort of way (i.e. word of mouth), or by direct observation, in which case we use our previous knowledge to asses and make a conclusion involving this particular fact. Then another question arises to where we got this previous knowledge, it all stems to the truth, the roots. In my own opinion nature is the roots. By nature, it can be seen as the direct observation method as I had previously stated to gaining knowledge. This method, I believe, can be the only truth for ourselves, because we personally derive at it. The real truth I am speaking of is not of proven science, what atoms make up this tree, but rather what meaning does this tree have in relation to me. Why is it here now as I look at it, and does it contain truth in itself? Truth about what is real and what isn’t? Now confusion might set in as to why one would question reality. This is only because I am not happy to the answers I have been given, or lack thereof. So the question still lurks, and reality remains undefined to me, although it is clear that society wants to believe it has all the answers, when it doesn’t, while nature is just acting out its course for us to observe, not forcing or subdued, but pure in the way it is meant to be. Maybe the problem is that society has forced me into believing a particular reality, or that any reality exists at all, when in fact there is no division to what is real and what is unknown but said to be real. Or, even more complex, there could be a reality that is not yet even recognized. Even then facts for definition can be useless, for it is how we place meaning on things that define our worlds. Some say clothes are an important cultural aspect, while it is clear that other cultures place less emphasis on this. Which is the truth, or is there any truth in it at all? Some may say that these differences do not matter, but it clear that we make sure to feel that one is better than the other. And if we say these little differences, such as clothes or diets, do not have a right way or wrong way, then who is to say that one belief of reality is right or wrong. So I see it the fault of society that it has closed its collective senses and built up walls, which in return creates a false sense of reality. That is why nature will always be where society is not. For it is not natural for man to be told the truth instead of letting him discover his own.

The Right of No Action

The only thing I can do in life is not do something. This is the only power of choice I am entitled to, non-action. I have the right to not do many things, but yet I can’t do anything I want, the power of choice is, merely, to hold the right to not act. I do not have the right to steal what I want; I don’t have the right to kill; I do not have the right to just do whatever comes to mind; So it is I only have the right use non-action in the situations involving choice. For example if a plate of food is given to me, what are my choices? To not eat what lies on the plate is my only choice, simply because the plate was given to me to eat. To actually eat it was not a choice.
My right doesn’t lie in doing these things; it lies in not doing these things. I am not, by all means, saying that we don’t have choice to act on something; I am simply stating that I have the right to refuse more than I have the right to act. This is the turmoil of personal decisions, but the answer is more easily seen than done. For, if I do not want to pay taxes, I can simply not act to pay them. Do I have this right? Governmentally? No. Personally? Yes. I do have this right, even thought it is not lawfully recognized. However, we do according to the consequences of our actions.
I believe it is more powerful to not act and retain my right of choice, than to give my right away to the things that are really no choice at all. Those that are of no choice are the actions that are done without the recognition of other responses. Some may say that it is a weakness to not act, to choose specifically to not act. As in a fight, if I choose not to defend my self I will surly be injured, though it is my right. It might be seen as an unwise thing to do in a fight, but who has more power then? The one acting upon his emotions and using violence, or the one who simply can choose violence, but doesn’t? Surely, the one who is retaining his choice, retains much more than that.

"Accumulation is deficiency". That which we own, confines us. That which we own, defines us. To accumulate is to build our bars, one by one. There is no other escape but to be rid of the things that let us wander, to feel nothing on our sholders, to have nothing to keep us behind. This is how freedom is won, nothing is wanted nor needed - this realizalization is the enemy of capatalism, of how we are goverened. so let us be inprisoned, for it is to show that some think that having my body phyically confined means that I am also confined. For I would be more free with no choices, than to choose a meesly article of clothing to wear. Today, we have so many choices that it is paralyzing. So i wish to have no choice, and so my mind will not be forced to decide, and, therefore, be freest of these burdons.

what more can i say. limping on time, climbing vines - swing to the next. Faith has all to do with it, but only nature guides. wisdom? who is to say why one can be so far away from the next, without even the thought of sanity. We can not compare, for to judge is to put everything in a box. This is what confines many of this world, we have our own boxes - with no air holes and no views to see outside. this is a fault i am guilty of many times over, but to see it, is to see paradise on the horizon. Just like the sun, when it is visible, it is awaited to warm us.

"Osama and Saddam adopt ape child" - weekly world news

Flicker

The leaves of fall are their own form of precipitation.
A layered potpourri of changing colors,
Scattered so no ground is certain.
It tracks us about, under our feet,
Travels with us, as mud often times had done.
These branches look as if they are weeping golden tears,
They know soon they will be naked.
Some try to contain the sheddings,
Stack them in neat little piles, push them out from under their guardians.
However, it is in where the leaf chooses to fall, that I find the most beauty,
When these colored artifacts choose to adorn us,
From the time a single droplet wills its way off from home,
To let the wind decide its destination.
For in a single moment’s flicker, it is evident that each has a story to tell.
And, each has a profound effect,
On the way I perceive this world.

Head – Toes; No middle.

Once, a time yesterday, I glanced behind me.
I’ve never been dancing.
Epilepsy lights
Shared fluids
Movements embarrassed
I’ve never been in a fight.
Unnecessary rising
Egotistical cake
Unresolved endings
I’ve never been sailing.
Currency floating
Burning time
Worthless conversation
I’ve never fully rested, been naked, been alive.
What is human, but to be at fault, to contradict intellectual thoughts without thinking, being animal without being human, being human without knowing a difference in what is described as definitions. Always wanting, never satisfied.
Consumerism’s web. Nonchalant’s acceptance of incompleteness in order to be fulfilled, accept imperfections to be whole,
to be really real. The tree that is stands the tallest, is the first to be cut down. So quick to kill, so quick to use, so quick to
beat the competitor that we pay no attention to where we put the keys, or when we had to speak, when we had a meeting
with that picture in the mirror. Lost, track of time: regret accomplished. Acceptance still questioning actions, while leaving
concrete footprints in the form of sliced skin. Buy me, buy it, forget it, forget me.

Ownership does not lie in objects, instead it lies to ourselves.

The sun explains

It’s beautiful, isn’t it, the sun?
Stepped out from the shadows
To be warmed by simplicity
To go from learning, to the feeling of nothing at all
It really is mind numbing
To not think about anything, and just feel
To take back all that’s been leaking out
These rays have experience, and the power to fill
For it is exactly all the knowledge we’ve been looking for
To be taught by nothing,
Teaches more than chalked ideas by chalked people ever could explain
There is wisdom when the sun explodes unto us
And those who have been empty of it,
Instantly ignite with the brutal touch of warmth
A warmth, that has been forgotten by the paradigms of our culture,
But this skin remembers that warmth as the savior.

things that ive noticed about this richmond. the people are deffinately distinct. there are pleanty of homeless people to go around, and because i have taken note to observe these wanderers, i have obtained an ability to tell if a begger is acutally homeless and in need of a donation. See, there is a difference. There are people, that i have noticed, that seem to not be in diar need of the money they ask of me. Now i have this fack begger radar, i can just tell when someone's suitation doesn't actually cause for them to ask for spare change. you see, it is widely known around here that people often ask for spare change, for what i don't know, but it is a common occurance. So there are also people who take advantage of this, that just ask for the hell of it, "do you got any change on ya"...or... "i just need 25 cents" and the like. These people just plain dont have anything else to do but gain a few cents here and there, when in fact, they are putting a bad name towards beggars, and might i add, they are taking away from those who are in more need. Now I have recently stoped carrying my wallet around so that i can be completely honest when i say i dont have any change for these people, even though i suspect they dont necessarily need it any more than i do. we all feel bad for these people, but then it just gets annoying that there are these fake beggars and that just spoils the act of giving to any beggar at all. You can just see it in their eyes. I have also noted some techniques that allow you to deter the questioning of beggars of all type. One that i have noticed is that if you make eye contact with this lonely beggar, then they will feel some comfort in you and try to milk it for all its worth. Now i suggest, in order for them to not ask you for change, to not look at them and walk by staring at your feet or on the path ahead. For me though, it is tough not to say a hello or hows it goin, which always returns with the question i was trying to aviod. Another way i have found that works for some, is if you walk with a fast pace, like your going somewhere important, and you can also mumble something impatient or about being late. Another walk that works is a sort of swagger, mimicking the way a homeless person would walk. You see, it is sort of like a code, an unspoken rule or something. If you walk like they do, stumbeling every so often, in a pietous sort of way, then they will leave you to your problems, or imaginary problems, they understand how you feel. Another walk is a good one, short and sweet, just walk with your pant pockets hanging out so it is obvious that you are dead broke, and continue on by the begger. And if you really want to be bold, to make sure they know your broke, you can ask them for any change. I have often thought about doing this, but really i feel it could be taken as a slap in the face, so i would observe caution when using this technique. Those are some good ways that have come to my mind, and there are others which i cant think of right now. Well, now that you know the ways to avoid the begger, you must also try to put yourself in their situation. I just cant help thinking about how i can help anyone in need, and i do feel quite helpless when someone asks for change. I would always want to reply with wanting to buy them lunch asking what it is they need, but they seem to always want money. Seems to me that if i was in that position i would accept anything that will help me to survive, but i have noticed some who will reject food and actually get mad if you offer to buy them. Now there are always people who are happy with anything you can give and i suggest that we just dont walk buy a beggar or anyone in need, at the very least, you can give a smile if there is nothing else you can give.

same is insane

I take a look in the mirror
I wonder if its mocking me
Or is it a threat that I see
I wonder if it lies
Or does it proclaim miraculously
It’s up to you to decide
Woah, you got to figure out
If you’re dying inside
(And)
If it’s the thoughts that create who you think you really are
Even if you say you don’t know
You’re provided with some granted satisfactions
Compared to those who say they know
(But really don’t know)
It all seems like a foolish game
Oh how I wonder
Why people today
Makes themselves out to be
Someone I’ve already met
And all these people have names
They enjoy all these letters
(even if)
All the letters are the same
They say they are themselves
We claim we are all different
And I agree
But we all keep our differences the same
Oh I wonder why, the bathroom signs separate nothing at all
I know you and me, we’re made of the same things
Carbon and nitrogen, oxygen and hydrogen
But what does this all mean
What does this all mean
When I look at you, are you all that I see
(I doubt it)
Cause when I look at me, I’m not all that I see
What does this all mean
Now I must look at the world this way
So when I look at a tree
It must not all be what I see
What is this wooden chair
Whose origins are from that tree
What does this all mean
Why do we all keep our differences the same
The world disguises, but really its all the same
Made from such that we are all multiple names
I hope my mind isn’t matter, for it will all be the same
But what does this all mean
(What does this mean?)

Moon Raking

Baby baby come and rest on my sholder now
Your gonna be part of something we already know
Baby baby come and see what you found
Its where all your sadness and your fears are drowned
Come and rest on my sholder now

The worst is gone and we can only hope for

Up, up, I know we’re at sides
Up, up, I cant stop thinking
Im gonna take ya rake ya make you mine again
Fill you up and make you never mad again
Im gonna see you smile and take you back to the moon
I hope you understand all the things that I do

Baby baby come and rest on my sholder now
Your gonna be part of something we already know
Baby baby come and see what you found
Its where all your sadness and your fears are drowned
Come and rest on my sholder now

Oh, no definitions will define us as

Down, down, it’s like a slippery slide
Down, down, pivot and fall no more
Im gonna weigh you, lay you, and sweep you away
Packed youth for a picnic today
I’m gonna flutter a lash while I wink and tame the moon
Sometimes it’s invisible all the tings that I do

Humanity Impeading

I saw the shoreline one time
It was up above where I wanted to come down
But of course the bars of this world wouldn’t allow me
Said I have to spend my time in reality
But this place sometimes is of creepy little creatures
Stand in line to understand regression
And if you get in the back
There’s no doubt you’ve felt depression
Now what I say is the object of my affection
Keeping the landscape in reality
Letting it slowly become me
What I idle at is none of your business
Keeping the beat rhythmically to the sound of my feet
Now I didn’t say I was a drummer
But some will compare this sound to individuality
Yeah, it’s a great new discovery
That time is starting-to-fail
If you let your mind think it so
I’m sure we can all throw principles out the window
Seeing the eyes of a unfamiliar victim
You shake my hand with out a feeling in your head
I know you walk away without thinking about humanity’s touch
It’s all sad in this world
When the things we create take over us
The object of my affection is not what most desire
It’s just the understanding of things that no one has contemplated
That makes me blush inside
Yeah, I see the shoreline from time to time

Meaghan Is The LOVELY!


Reluctant Greetings on any Random Day
How do you do Mr. Skulland Bones
How do you do
I want to meet you, greet you,
and shake your hand
So I can be familiar with you
When you come in the end
Pleased to meet you Dark Farmer
Pleased to meet you
Come show me the ways of harvest
and why you reap the things that are dear
All throughout the year
Good Morning Brother Death
Good Morning
Teach me to serve so that I may learn
the reasons why we get
What no one ever deserves
Happy Holiday Grim Salesman
Happy Holiday
Nothing will keep you away from my door
Let me buy all the stock you have
So that no one else can feel this poor
Good day Sir Black Suit
Gooo day
Farewell for you have out welcomed your stay
Consumed my world in a single day
In all that I learned
There is no stopping your return
But at least I can say good day!

Wandering Jew

I think I’ll plant something today
But what is it the first thing I must do
I must obtain a seed, just imagine the life force in this thing
So I plant it and treat it right
Cause I know it will provide me of all the fruit I need
So I water it every day
Watch it grow under the sun
Its just like having a child of my own
When it grows up I will be so proud
To show and share all the fruit I found
Just to think a tiny little seed
Can provide me of all the things that I need
So I know how much dirt can provide
So I know how much bigger this world is
It’s so complicated yet, I planted this seed today
And its so right in all the things that I need
But we all got to find our own way and something to lead
Give sunlight to all things that need to grow
And it will show us all the things we need to know
Just like a wandering jew, follow the light where ever it goes
North south east or west, I will follow
Just like a wandering jew

I got an idea for a automatic cheese making machine. Heres how it works. Buy one gallon of milk (preferablly whole milk). Place in refridgerator. Unplug refridgerator for a week. Check milk and breath deeply the lovely smell of home made cheese. It worked for me.


Kingdom Come
I’m going back to my head
Going to re-wander through the memory-hills and the hope-valleys
I’m searching for the oxen and the force that cracks my whip
What drives them aimlessly, as water knows more to its direction
If I want to fight the river I must not walk up stream, but just stand
All these things combine against me in the nature of my land
This world is unplotted, dis-geographed and inexplicable with modernization
I have found whole civilization of a disassembled caste system buzzing with noise
In the distance there is a slate statue in salute, to which pollutants have taken hold
Eyes are thrown at the foreigner like stones to a sinner
It is hard for me to digest this town, I’m lost in their tongue
I stumble and bump into traffic, mules and carts, tall men and cold iron
Walking down the previously burrowed paths I am verbal-motionally attacked
Even the beggars spit arrows at my ears, my heart being hacked at
Making my way to the one thing that I have kept my eye on, the one in salute
The slate seems warmer than any soul in this town
So I follow upon a narrow path that narrows
Until I reach the statue that resembles a once reverend man
A king of some sort, with a scroll of unfamiliar inscriptions lain at the feet
My glance is drawn up with the ever increasing evidence of winged fowl visitations
Upon looking at the carved face, I am drawn back
Surprised, flustered, discussed at what I am.
My face is the same at that man
Once a revered figure of this land, my person is no longer welcome
What is it that I was or would have done?
Who am I now that I am no one?
My thoughts shoot back to the etched words in stone
I can now strangely read what has been set in decades ago
“We were his ideas. We were his hopes. We were his passions. We were his lovers. This man left all he had in search of more, when all he needed was to ask right next door.”
How foolish of me, what is it that I have left for all that had loved me?
I have let down these people as I have let myself decay
I forgot what I was searching for and have been wandering
Stripped of my knowledge, of what I know and what I knew
I start of in search of what I was searching for.

sorry for the change in my blog...i messed up with grave proportions....im trying to figure out what is goin on here..so give me a few.

Who Do
At the back of my mind down at the sea
Delicious little girls throwing candy at me
Sayin who do you say and who would have quit
I don’t need you to tell me what’s legit
Singin’
I’m the only one
Loving the world and the world is loving me
Said the only one
Loving the world as the world is loving me
Singin one to the people
And one to the world
One to my love
And one to the world
Followed the bridges out to the sea
Suspicious ideas are coming through me
Sayin who do you know and who’s in the ground
Music is all the love that I found
Keep singin’ now
I’m the only one
Loving the world and the world is loving me
Said the only one
Loving the world as the world is loving me
Singin one to the people
And one to the world
One to my love
And one to the world
I finally realized all that I need
Give away everything that’s been given to me
Sayin who do you buy and who’s always concerned
Take a look and wonder what is learned
Never stop now.

Oh Boy
It’s a sun-shown Saturday
A sun-shown Saturday
The bright will help me find
My love today
It’s a sun-shown Saturday
As-bold-as-I am, I will not go
I know I need, I need to know
Today
It’s a sky-ward Saturday
A sky-ward Saturday
I realize I cant fight
I’ve lost my right today
It’s everything in my head that came true
Cause truth is what I know so it must be true
Followed evening stars to evening trips
Followed every word from topless lips
As I grow to wrinkles, I want to grow
I want my brain to get rid of its mold
I want to name everyday Saturday
So Saturday can be everyday
And everyday is always today

Say NO to ING'S
Speaking of ing’s
What about…POINT Blankers
truly topped hypothetical bulges
Finally non-regurgitated substance to take heed
Whining?…CEASE all ing’s
Worded to conceive the believable
Who wears caution tape on their forehead?
Thoughts trip on uneven sidewalk without a leash
Shot, shot, shot, shot
When uneducated men congregate
They create and define what it means to fabricate
Whatever system they need to find ownership
Of the things they don’t own
Carbonless copies, if you will.
Now that heeding has taken place, Polaroid and Recycle.

Rewrite the Ending
Where is the one thing that will soothe the world’s soul
Will death come to us all, young and more
Personified by callused feet, blooming by an orange sky
How many men will be fertilized
How many stalks can be reaped
The cause of it all can’t be changed by man
Because it is man
Everyday sunshine withdrawals the truth from within us
Blows it by our eyes
It is the empty stomach we feel and the sadness writing poetry that reveals
What everything was trying to say
Still, we are oblivious to the nature within
Don’t let discrete eyes of truth pass
With speech that reveals a blink
You want to know about a creator
A constant
Just look us in the eye

The following phone conversation took place on Friday September 12, 2003 at approximately 9:40 in the a.m. The man’s voice was unfamiliar, with a deep Brooklyn NY accent. Something in his voice seemed angry, troubled, or irritated.
Conversation Commenced:
Me: Hello?
Guy: I almost got caught last night.
Me: O.k.…?
Guy: Yeah, is this Mr. Knotts?
Me: No.
Guy: Is Mr. Knotts there?
Me: No.
Guy: Is this the Knotts residence?
Me: Uh no, you have the wrong number.
Guy: Well why didn’t you say so, you MORON!
Me: I did, you called here … (silence)…so thanks.
End of Conversation

hey, i got the web address www.save-the-humans.com
so go there to check out my blogger..cause i linked them.
i will be putting my new site with that address when i get it done.
so im on my way to somewhere...at least farther along to getting a somewhat worthy site up.

cell-phones cause cigerettes to double your death
When I need somebody, I’m alone
And when I need to be alone
I am congested,
By all you systematic fools
All you hypercritic tools
With your hundred cell phone tones
I am heart broken when I see
A beautiful soul smoking
Ask me why I care
All the world’s beauty is going to fade
I feel the pain your lungs feel every day
Shot in the heart at a glance
25 souls a minute more and more
I feel their unfelt pain
What I see is in reverse
Someone getting smoked
While smoking themselves
Quiet
I don’t want to waste my thoughts
If you don’t care yourself
My sympathy has something better
To waste its time on

Boink
In an instant my eyes were polka doted
And tears were gleaming down here
I can say cause I was there
I apologize for the way I describe it to you
It must have been the air, quite visible
Even though I couldn’t see I knew what was there
All was clear
I must say
Everything was belittled and I knew
Nothing small was there
Overwhelming clear
I couldn’t avoid down there by my side
Smashed into my head a falling star
Biting below the belt
As before,
I apologize for the way I describe
Windex couldn’t keep up
Glass eyes were clearer
Every bit of light shown in
On my head lay bricks and a bump
Easily
Sweet easily

Duty
In order to have peace
You first must have war
At least that’s what they tell me
On the streets
Where the people are in charge of people
And greed persuades them

This is to show the way
Way we call livin’
Livin’ in humanity
Humanity with a society

It seems to contradict
Up levies and down to the plains
Face to face people who say
“I live this way” but state the obvious
In perspective and close eye
We don’t live like we say

This is to show the way
Way we call livin’
Livin’ in humanity
Humanity with a society

War is to show who is better
But trust in war to decide
And every man becomes faceless
No art can define a thousand years
Blank minds with no cause
We have come so far
With everything to show
But knowledge is a baby born
Doesn’t know about the past
So to condense a lifetime
Continue on
Starting over
Blank begins..
Con-
Tin-
Ue.

being born as we have, we now face death. Go about looking at everyone as dying people, because that is the truth. The buddhists have a saying "Which will come first, tommarrow or the next life... who is to know?" . Espically today when there are so many ways to die, it is possible we will not make it to the next day.

oh..by the way. Im also trying to get a newer website going with the help of my wiz brother. hopefully it will keep you on one site and not following all these crazy links I have...well dont hold your breath because im no genius.

zoom zoom. Im alive once again. Im trying to get back into the swing of things...even though i dont know exactly where that place is. Well i hope someone has missed me...or wondered where my passion has vacationed..because..it's back.

It's quite right that it's white, because I know black and blue ain't far behind
This must be a case for the coconut spy
Running down my ear like a vanilla lie
It's quite right that it's white, becuse I know others ain't far behind
Feeling canned
Bottled up
Shrinked wrapped and ready to be sold
What are these explosions in my head
It must be something that was not said
Im always waiting to get out, waiting to get out
These thoughts always stir
Diagnosed with the syndrome of restless words
Dont need to be medicated
Just need my fruit to be loose like a parachute
Its just quite right.

ok im done for the summer and i got nothing to do, no where to go, i got to be sadated.

OK, here's the deal. This passage is me sitting out side taking sentences from peoples conversations as they walk past me. So I wrote random sentences down, and then it sounded like one big conversation...u follow? As you will read the first sentence is what inspired me because it was completely random. Each sentence is from a different conversation...and the things in parentheses are a description of things I saw.

Conversation: Outside Johnson Hall
I got alot of dead cats
Rub it in my face, Im leaving
Thanks man
Your good, ok stop
Its not fair, that was so close to victory
Its all about how you present yourself to be
Lets go your short way
Well cause I cant, I dont know why
So whats the poison for?
(cough) (written on a shirt: practice sucks, but i love the shoes)
Your falling behind here
Hey, are you leaving tonight?
What?! you dont think i wouldn't have any money
I counted it up, you can miss 28 questions
That sucks, well, call me before you leave or something
(some guys walk by carring someone tied up at the ankles, wrists, and a blind fold on. They are laughing and struggling to carry him)
Create a baracade so no one sees him
(The street lights come on)
Holla!!
I have to pee oh my god
I just want to grab a waffel in the morning except i dont want to wake you up
ARRG, 4 hit combo
Well this should be a good experience for you then
I got it professionally spray painted
ok peace

end of conversation

We just had a near life experience.

eeegggg....finals.i have pleanty of time, but i know i should be studying...eh. i dont really care, i'll just tell it how it is, if i learned stuff the i learned it. if not then theres no bother trying for just a grade..man i cant believe that its come down to this, a master race of bubble fillers, scantron kings, where letters and numbers tell me how much im worth and how smart i am. well i better go before im labeled as a failure just because i cant apply my learning through filling in circles with my pencil, my number 2 pencil because the machine that tells me how smart i am cant understand me if i use a pen.

so simple yet so true
its the afternoon sun glistening on skin that wishes to be devoured
if bliss had siblings they could hold everyones hand
alas, it turns me to see it not so, reality wears no mask
and yet it is the faces, of grim posture and degraded faith, that deliver me
at no extra charge i carry them in my pocket, to add wealth to my purse
thine eyes inspire, teach, and corrode my spirit like a father to his ill advised son
and whence set on a task, the child without walls first stumbles, then walks
learning from a stubbed toe, but at least to say there will be no more stubbed toes
it is of these men that I collectivley mold my dreams
using only the best of beards to filter wisdom
sticking quarters into slots of carbord signs designed to provoke at least some reaction
some reaction, i know not what others take, for my reaction has been a movement
the movement of wild birds to the south, for it tis not instinct that we cast our eyes south
by these who stutter, on willingness to please or hestitant for greetings,
make them the full bodied model that has eroused retinas
tis years of knowlege and pain and toothless smiles that sit not to be judged
for it is one of the simplest pleasures that we all have yet to discover
the luxury of time and watching fools hurry by pretending to be important
for i wish i were bold enough to take on the task to observe
my courage dwindles at their giving to us in need, blessings
tis so simple yet i know nothing more true
bliss sits on the corner blowing kisses only to acknowlegment

hey, my cat had her kittens!!! wicca pushed 3 of em out. Me and meaghan stayed up most of the night on friday watching Wicca, making sure she was doing alright. She had been acting funny all day, and we figured that she would have them anytime soon, she was licking herself alot and.. .um some fluid was visable. so we figured it was soon. Eventually she started going into labor Saturday morning at like 6am. She went over to her litter box and squated like she was goin poo, but her stomach was convulsing, so i picked her up and put her in the crafty box meaghan made, with a blanket and all. Well i guess wicca didnt understand what was goin on cause she kept going back to the box and we didnt want her to have the babies there. I put the litter box up on top of this counter. I then went to get some towels, and when i came back meaghan was yellin at me cause a kitten was popping out. Wicca was in the middle of the floor squezing the first kitten out. It made it out and wicca turned around and looked at it, and was startled or something cause she ran to her little box with the kitten attached by the cord..so it kinda draged and ploped into the box with her. So then wicca started licking it and then the plecenta came out with it attaching with the cord. She ate that up and bit the cord, which they are supposed to do, but it was gross..it looked like she was eating a kitten that was turned inside out. So the first kitten was the one that is all different stripes and colors. So she kept licking and like 5 mins later she started having the second one, which came out slow but good enough. So then she repeated the same with this kitten, which was all black and fat faced. This one was the loudest and kept squeeling, sounded like a bird and pig mixed together. So she licked it and bit the cord and all. After another 5 or 10 mins she started having another one, which wicca didnt even get up for. she looked tired and this one kinda slid out slowly, and she didnt pay too much attention to it...maybe she didnt even know it was there. eventually we pointed it out to her and she did her thing. this one was all grey and the only boy of the bunch. After they were all out , we took them and rubbed them with the towels and gave them back to the mommie. they drank her milk and wicca slept. they are so small and fit into the palm of your hand. their eyes dont open for about a week and they all are different colors.

"When we are a child, we are like a camel. the camel gets down on its knees, and baggage and many things are placed on its back. once it has as much as it can carry, the camel ventures out into the desert. Then it is the desert that turns the camel into a lion, and the more the camel carried the stronger the lion is. The lion then goes and fights the dragon, and "thou shall" is written on every scale of the dragon. The strong lion defeats the dragon, and ventures off to be the child again. free spirited, out on its own"
-some ancient proverb...its about life and socitey burdoning a person. Let me know what you fell it means..





A Generic Magazine Shop
Life needs to be turned on and my face is the switch plate
Is it revoultionary to be me without getting a handshake
All I see is you passing fears at the dinner table
Please pass the salt as air has had a better taste
Now, to wonder why we changed the style of fashion
I can't keep up with rules that run faster with pumped up shoes
I dont want to see my self in a magazine with someone who looks just like me
I was uneducated, cold bold faces attacked me like the day I was born
Now I know because of easily accessed words
Words that are repeated without my brain interfering
Really, it's not true, my secret path has been paved over
Im collecting the toll for a four lane highway
I'll allow you all to come in but my face wont budge
Ive stopped the electricty to my smile because my brain couldnt pay the bill
Tissue was writing checks that blood couldn't cash
Oxogyen pays the bills around here, and it was sent for a checkup
Spent all its cash on back alley plastic sergeons who told it what to be
The token brain was in the waiting room reading up on the latest type of cleavage
All while his thoughts were plotting a riot hoping for knowlege to go on vacation
Man has been blemished from the end of four feet - to four feet taller on two feet
Though it has always been said a beautiful berry is bad to eat
Why do we let our eyes be the landlord, how do they know when they don't see inside
Its time to be turned inside out, like a bad episode of star trek
Pinning my heart to my forehead would be less bloody than emotion starting a civil war
I just have to realize there is more to loose on the inside
So why does green sooth us so, so much so that fingers take on mind of their own
---or maybe its the mind taking on fingers of its own---

A midsummer's snow shower is always alone
For 7 days and 4 weeks and 9 months
Time is described as numbers without life
Just a visual aesthetic and the makings of a cage
4 letter words describe graffiti over graffiti
4 stall walls don't quite reach the ground
Dangled dust from falling trees dresses the cement
And all this shows more than one number intends
A year passes by like cancelled days on a calendar
Looking and hoping for the future to come
But it's stuck in traffic during rush hour going into the sun
And you're waiting at the door with lit candles on the table and roses
5 minutes late, 20 minutes late, an hour late
Late like the first time blood was missing
A feeling of number control, it has confined you with too many to count
Bubbles have a longer life expectancy when you don’t watch them
Just like a butterfly clock with red spotted wings
Beauty distracts and slips away with the color of leaves
Don't delay that run, skip, or jump for there may not be another chance
Verbs in a basket make a picnic to eat with fingers
Disbelief of the future leads you to the fountain of youth
So make haste and recycle metal on your wrist
The road to reality is not the next left at the oak tree; it's under your feet.

feeling this pressure
wanting to lay down and melt
feel everything around me
becoming the ground
blend in with the sand
skin turing to grains
dont want to be seen
but i feel everything
i want to become apart
laying down thinking of nothing
ignorant shall i read
to become so small
that nothing cares
about being blown with the wind
spread across the world
all different pieces
distanced so far
i want the feeling of one
becomming one by falling apart
strung in with this world
so common
no one sees
im ashamed to be named
in the same catagory
wanting the feeling of dirt
dust kicked about
moving on to where no one cares
becomming apart
now i just lie
extremedies spread
creating a kite
shutting my eyes
knowing im not here
im going somewhere
blending in with surrounding
thinking im no one
thinking im not even there
molecules connected
becomming apart

Eh, im trying to keep up with it all. I want to do so much but I never seem to get around to it. Dont worry, my spirt is still alive. As of right now, i am weighed down with alot of work. I finished reading Tristian and Issult (roman romance novel) and i have to finish Ovid's The art of love and write a paper on that by this wed. arrg. im used to being lazy and having time to think. Well I will leave you with a quote from Ovid relating to recent events with the war, of course love and war can be seen as the same:

Always, O race of man, your wit has been your disaster,
Cleverness, bent on gain, proved a calamitous loss.
What was the use of surrounding cities with turreted ramparts,
Arming your hands for war - what in the world was the use?
What was the ocean to you? The land should suffice for contentment.
Why not covet the sky, greedy for triple domain?

Now I’m going to say what you want to hear
And then I’m going to get on top and say s**t you can’t bear
Telling the truth about all the hypocrisies
And your life and what is really there
Stop hiding, lying, your only digging so deep until you find
That your feet have got your life turned into quicksand
It will slap you harder than your wife when she finds there’s no band on your hand
It’s all just to help no matter if you’re ready or not
No matter if you’re caught with a damn waste of pot you bought
Why are you waiting for life to make you old
Waiting for someone to put you into a choke hold
A little force just like everything you know and say is your life
It’s not yours, its all open doors but don’t forget to speak softly and carry a knife
Now all I’m saying is not to fight back the same ways
Just like following all the failures in your life, and getting lost in their haze
It’s an example of what you will become so stay clear of that road
Feel like being locked in a room with a tv and a couch with cigarette holes
You lost the key and all that liquor is building up to pee
Now that feeling of self contain, you can’t even get out of your brain
You hear them say knock knock, you don’t care who’s f***ing there
You just want to get out of this and breathe new air
The walls are throbbing with the pills you’ve been popping
All the while the tv has been getting louder and louder
The screen has turned into a mirror and all you see is your life in black and white
You say how can this be when all I did was sit on this couch and watch tv
Maybe that’s what it's gonna take for you to realize
It’s not the size of your brain or how many pockets you got
It’s not all the people you know or how many words you got
You say you have dreams, you got visions
But it’s all a repeat of what you’ve seen on television
Panic and sweat are met with a hand shake only hoping
That the rest of society will relate with the same time and date
Maybe you can find a spot in your busy schedule
Maybe you can stop the squeaky headboard
But it’s all just to keep your mind from wandering off
Keep it from knowing the prison bars are not far off
But why do I care what you see when you don’t even see me
I know there’s no way no one can understand what I got to say
I see things beyond getting up and ready for today
Trying to help you when you toss away a weeks pay just to get laid
Picking up your trail of empty bottles and boxes and bad habits
But maybe you don’t know and will never get it
And maybe you know and go lower and choose to forget it
What ever the case, what ever your truth is
Just know a man is measured by how he measures other men
Is judged by his own judging and by his own hand
So forget every thing that I’ve ever said
Weather its something you’ve read or something you took from what I said
Because you were born knowing the truth and it’s not out there somewhere
Not where you can read it or out where people preach and believe it
Inside lies the greatest treasure, even unlocked and no key to lock it
Now be willing and knowing that you already know
Don’t hold your breath just be ready to know
There’s nothing crazy about thinking out of the lines, not following the signs
You don’t have to believe me but you do have to hear me
Some might wonder how to take the first step to make the last lap
Wonder what’s wrong with my hat but there’s no place you can buy my thinking cap
It’s all inside where yours and your own rules are the only ones you abide by
So stop taking other people and making them something else in your mind
Stop buying and trying to stall time
Its not up to you to make the world better in your view
Its only up to you to be you

No Seperation

Rich people wouldn’t be rich if it wasn’t for the poor people paying them to be rich
So stand aside society
Stand aside ready for change
And not the kind that you find hitting the streets
Making your heart move faster than your feet
But the kind that beats you when you think your on top
You know we’re not ready for such
But it’s begging to get out
Begging to be free
It just takes one touch to change society
-:-All time ever does is grow things-:-

New Way To Heaven

There’s another way to heaven
Another way to heaven
There’s got to be another
Way to heaven
But what you didn’t know
Is that you got to go through hell
Surfing on this array of light
Searching words to explain
But I don’t mind that I am restless all the time
Cause I need to know, I need to know
If what I’m seeing is true
And I’ve felt this way, for ever so long
I just need to be untied
Well I couldn’t believe the sight
The sight that captured me last night
Everything disappeared and there is was so clear
A figure stood, about the size of a cross
And suddenly, a lasso was upon me
Pulling me in for the kill
Pulling me with all my skin
But it will all be gone soon
Still I wish I never kissed, that dark shadow in the night
I know there’s got to be
Another way to heaven
Another way to heaven
There’s another way to heaven
But what you didn’t know
Is that you got to go though hell

Taking it Old

Well I've been riding fifteen, in my car
Waiting for the answers to fall into my sunroof
And after I've drove this far
I’ve realized you have to reach out there and grab
So go on, go on, go on and get out
So just know no one is going to tell - you the answers
You got to open your palms, open your palms
Open your eyes, reach out and grab

The world is out there
For your taking
If you want you can hug every tree
Spend all day eating ice cream
But as long as you know
You're not doing it for anybody - else
You are really going to be where you ought to be
Driving 15 – below just to feel
With all your windows down, while its snowing
Now what would be, the point of talking
All we got is all we got, silence explains it all

Sitting behind the wheel on four wheels
Now how can I think I'm not going anywhere
The scenery pushes, over the hills
And -just-to-think-that-its-all-mine
Slowing the fifteen - pull over
Time after time, running out of gas
But its ok, there’s no one to blame
It’s a new day - new life for everything
And who's to say - I won't see what-you-never-will
At least I'll never take it for granted again
Now that I know, my feet also have places to go
You just have to be - willing to give in to control
Forget about what's new - forget about it, go back to the old

Flooded Heart
At least I got this feeling one time
Over and over
Flipped up and sober
Wished the magical string
Was not so taught
At least we know the light of day
Bright and brighter
Blinded and lighter
Now we have something to compare
Suspended in thin air
For the first time we see
A miracle in everything
These floating petals
Give the wind something to dance about
Tumble and tumble
Dirt turns humble
Looking for footprints to walk in
Stop waiting for this road to be built
Standing on tippy toes to peer over the hill
Where to nowhere
No one to share
Staring down at forever settled dust
Taking that first bear footed step
Rushing through your brain, blood, and body
Feelings to feel
Belief in unreal
With every step, a mother gives birth
With every stumble, death occurs
Now climbing up slope and sliding slantways
Your heart has been set in motion
You brain will follow
Your feet will make the dust want to catch up
While off your head a stream of flowing hair will forever smile

trees. i really like trees. they are so calming and inspiring to me. when i look at any tree, i see perfectness. to me it is in complete random branching and they way each one is different that makes them perfect. it is difficult to capture the feeling swaying brances give me, it is just the feeling of life all around me. to be standing in the wind without any troubles, just to be apart of whats around you. to be born from a tiny seed, growing and branching outward, with a co-dependace with the world around you. Everything in the world is like this, we all have relationships with eachother, with trees, with dirt. most people dont choose to see it, it is a realization that most dont even recognize to exist. but we all feel it inside, the feelings we get when looking into the eyes of another, or playing in the snow. just looking outside and staring, just being in the moment and forgetting about everything brings about this extraordinary sense of being alive and playing such a small part of things around you. well thats what we need to do, just sit and forget and stare. like nothing is there and you dont have to go anywhere and you dont have to think about anyting because you are just a tree, rooted to the ground being moved by the passing wind. the flow of life around you while you flow through other things. some people look and because they dont understand they misjudge, as if your crazy, like you have no life. they may look at you and ask whats wrong or what are you doing, but you dont remember, you dont know anything except that you have been alive more than they will ever be. we have to be careful to not disturb life around us, the passing ants and the branching trees, even if they do get in "our" way. well its not our way, its just the way, no ones to claim. everything is existing in the way it was ment to be, so when we change this, we scar ourselves, we stop ourselves from being alive in true life. why create your own world if it is not real, why belive that one thing is better than another, that one way is better. it is all right, and if it happens then it is ment be that way, why change it. changing our world just puts us farther and farther into a cave, keeps us blind from the real world and what life is really about.

dropped copper

when i reach for the stars and come back with a handfull of
not tall enough
im not afraid of the things i know nothing about
to embrace them is stepping in front of the
ask for spare change
so we go to sleep and wake up and repeat
read the next step on the list of
never going to make it
in what mold do we shape ourselves
believing moving pictures at the
stealing bread
always left wondering how we got to this point
grey brissley beards left seeds to grow out of
never smart enough
so it is, time has come and wraped along your leg
pulling down and falling while grasping the
picking up dropped copper
i know when you dont fit into the puzzle
you get thrown and forgotten with the rest of
not tall enough

Tree Tied
I am tied here to this tree by a leash
The tree is tied by its growing roots
The roots are dug into moist ground
The ground is wraped in miles around
All around is lifed tied to the earth
So the earth is what I am holding down
Tied it back with my selfish leash
Then my disturbance in peacefullness
Will scar the mother more than I can know
Nothing will be left to cherish
And I am worried about being tied to a tree?

Taking it like a champ, believing im going to end up drinking the cool water holding the belt. But reality is my enemy finding new ways to beat me. The kicking while im down marks the outside, but the looks and feelings explode my inside. It would be nice if the sun shone just for one day, and in that day i could do everything a normal fighter does, not stopping to obey the rules, not thinking I'm a fool. Just being what I do best, crave the existiance that gives to the hands that feed the monster. Raping is his discharge, leaving me to scrabble for my energy, changing me from within. Meeting a chance to fight with my old personaliy only to begin the cycle again. Who are these people that know me, to say my type and what my goal is. Should I believe them if I dont know the answer?

I had an idea to make a vw beetle look like a ninja turtle..get the paint job to look like a ninja turtle...i copywrite that idea. im a fat dorkus.

Fate is not far behind
Why do my shut eyes weep?
It is evident in the way I walk
Wanting to be walking somewhere else
Flashes of faces and the one
The one that stalks me
I can hear you looking
When my back was turned
I could feel that I was admired
But my reality is mine
I’m having it hard enough
Realizing that it stops at my eyes
My ears and brain know otherwise
I can’t stop it, cause it hasn’t started
But I beg for your beauty
So I lie waiting and walking by
Some day it will grasp me
And shake me about
Being slapped awkwardly
The churning and mining
The last gasp and last beat
Happens every moment and every picture
When all I look for is crescent lips
Thrown in my direction, I’m faulted
I can’t break out of this body made of stone
Waiting for my sculptor, chisel in hand
Make me your prize, worthy of attention
I just want someone to say I’m priceless
But in my self the praise belongs to the gentle hand
The mind that pulled me out of the boundaries
I just assume not think about it

umm yes... fairly bored here. i cant think of anything to write. it snowed and sleeted alot here, but i was hoping for no school today.ehh oh well. all the snow is turnning into quick sand and when you walk through it you get sucked in. so i dont know why they didnt cancel classes, i have to carry a walking stick where ever i go. im wating on more homeless encounters so that i can share them..but nothing new. ive gotten word from omar that i can come up to see him in greece during spring break. all i have to do is get my parents to pay for it...umm i dont think im that convincing. well i hope im able to go. im too lazy to go out to get food, all ive got is two stale doughnuts from this weekend, that meaghan bought cause we were hungry at 1 in the morning. maybe if i put them in the microwave they will soften up...or else they can be used as a paper weight or a potential wepon..i mean they are hard as a rock. well im goin back to plain my guitar

valentines day? a cathloic started holiday in celebration of st. valentine. there is not much know about st. valentine, in fact, there are three saints, st. valentines or valentinus, that this holiday could be named after. one legend contends that st.valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. So why do we celebrate Valentine's day on Feburary 14? Well of course it's the cathloics that decide to put it on day to contend with other religons. Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.

(information provided by www.historychannel.com)

i got alot of ideas. i think im going to write a book or movie. i want to be able to effect people in a positve way and help view things in a different light. im reading plato's writings about socrates, it helped me. socrates was sentenced to death because he was said to be corupting the youth of athens. people always have negative feelings to those who are different or those who think differently. many people punish and outcast those who are different in society, just because its not normal or accepted. socrates was said to be wise, but he never thought himself to be wise. he loved to talk and think and ask questions, this is something that we all should do. why should we cast out those who truly make a difference, those who do not belong, for it is in them that we are able to be who we are, individuals. why does society murder all those who tell the truth, we want to make a world in a place that doesnt belong to us in the first place. i think that if we accept the world as it truly is, accept people and what they have to say, then cilvilization would be in better harmony, and peace. we have yet to accept the fact that we cant own everything, life is not for sale.

Here is another web site that gets my intrest. It goes along with what i had to say about christmas. i believe some of what this site proclaims, but dont here it from me check the site out and figure out your own way. Christmas Resistance

Ive stumbled upon something interesting, click the link {>} squirrel Fishing.

my head hurts
i want to go to sleep
im drinking tea
i want it to snow or sleet
or something
cannibalism is gross
my sugar packet fell into my tea
it is globuled with the paper
i want to go to sleep
my head still hurts
like it used to
i want to go somewhere
where my ideas come true
where i can live
instead of planning
i cant count on the future
i dont want to count on the future
what about now
my head hurts now
but im just planning on going to sleep
planning on time to waste away
time to take me away
i know what i have to do
or shold do
i do what im supposed to do
not what i know i have to do
but im wating on
somthing easier to come
and do it for me, i know
i know in order for me
to be alive now i have to
do what makes my head
hurt go away

Commercial Break

All we do is spend time watching TV
We never go outside because its all on TV
Now what is it with this world today
When reality is defined by a picture screen
Now we all have forgotton about open skies
When our lives are defined by a picture screen

All it takes is one in a crowd to spread a diease
So why not take one to spread the word
The truth is not what you see but what you feel inside and know to be
Dont close your ears, only your eyes
There's people out there that would like you to be blind
So I hope you realize that there is a world you don't know
A world not given to you so easily through the TV

Bathroom thought: Can you smell your own boogers?

I don’t want to wake up in the morning
I just want to stay asleep
And maybe I’d keep on dreaming
Of all the things I want to be

Easier this way to be me
One in a crowd of faces
I want to be the one looking
Looking in the other way

What I see now is nothing
Shapes and lines are for you
I wish i could see the truth
Take away the chains from my brain

"Art is a lie realizing the truth"
"History is truth becomming falshood, myth is falshood becomming truth"
all truths lie, even words can be picked apart to find discrepency, but just have that holy moment and be where you are, stare and dont think, let your body know the truth and your brain will follow.

i went pee in a urinal today. directly in eye distance was some grafiti written on the wall "This is not the joke. The joke is down there". Of couse i chuckled a bit, but then realized there were two guys next to me. I felt slightly embarassed looking down and laughing at my self.

hello! save the humans. Ive thought of some new ideas. Ive changed my picture page a bit, but I added some save the humans logos i made, they are on my pic page so check them out and let me know what you think. i want to make stickers out of them and stick them to things. i guess thats what you do with stickers. well my empire is just a little bit bigger, hopefully with your support my cause will be greater and stronger, but first i have to come up with a cause....humm...save the humans, a anti-war campaign? Help the homeless? protect the enviroment? stop discrimination against all people?........let me know what you are thinking

So I've decided to get a new engine for my beelte, well a used one, and get it running again. Hopefully it will work. I am putting it up for sale but i think it will be a while until i sell it. I make a link to my beetle picture on the left.

Another homeless sighting:
Willy, A.K.A. High As A Butterfly
So I was on my way to a thrift store, skating along, when i came to a bad section of the side walk. I couldnt skate on it so i go off my board and started walking with it. It wasnt long before i heard some hootin and hollerin' from my right. Now i tried not to look, because i knew that this uncomfortable noise was directed towards me. So i kept walking....not looking...trying not to look..."Yomon!"..."Yomon!" darnet i looked. This scraggly homeless negro was staggering towards me trying to get my attention. Well, he wasnt so scragly, in fact you could say he was kind of spiffed up for a homeless guy. His attire consisted of (in order that they got my attention): 1)BRIGHTLY colored tie-dye t-shirt. 2)Black beanie with rainbow stripes on the brow. 3) Black belt, with metal holes in it (lookes like the kind girls wear).
4)dirt coverd jeans, with holes and the like. 5)black sweat pants underneath. 6)grey sweat shirt underneath his tie-dye shirt. 7)Sunglasses, the cheap jogging kind. Like a purple reflective lense, where i couldnt see his eyes. Thats what i can remember....also let me mention he had dreads too. His speach pattern was off, like most homeless people he spoke very relaxed, combineing words and not prouncing them fully.
"Yomon whatis dat?(pointing at my skateboard)" "Aoh yagot dreadsdoo" translation: "good day sir, what is that thing you are carrying? and oh, you have dreads too."
I said "yeah i have dreads, this is my skate board".
"Ohiss a..skatbood, mandis alonskatbood." translation: "Oh, i see, a skate board. Man, this is a long skateboard"
"yeah it is"
"Ah andur dreaz, yagot dreads" he said with excitement. translation: "and your dreads, you have dreads"
at this point he stuck out his arms, as if to give me a hug. I really didnt know what he wanted me to do, so i got close and attemped a hug of some sort. Now i feel like i belong to some club or gang, people walking by think we are long lost friends or something. Im starting to itch too?!
"Telmemon, whyyawant dreds, imaight wit whiteman havin dredzandall, noprobem, but whiedya getdredz" translation:"Tell me sir, why did you want dreads? I mean, i am alright with a white man havinig dreads, not a problem, buy why did you get them?"
"I just wanted to, I like them"
"Rhitlysomon, dreadsargood. heymon whaisurname?" translation:"Rightly so sir, your dreads look good. Pardon me, perhaps could you tell me what your name is?
"My name is Mike"
"Aho Mik, minamis Willy, butpeople ca-me ..hiasa buterfly", sticking out his hand and doing some handshake with me. translation:"Please to meet you Mike. My name is Willy, but people call me High As A Butterfly"
"ok(chuckling a bit)"
"aightmon, jabodich mino bla bla bla" translation: "alright sir, (jibberish)" i didnt know what he was really saying at this point, your guess is as good as mine.
"yeah, well, i got to head home now"
"okmon, kepdadreads..okmon" translation:"ok, have a nice day and keep the dreads"
And at that my encounter was at its end. We walked in our seperate directions, leaving me speachless and thoughtless and just wanting to take a shower.

Ready...Im trying here people. Its just that its hard for me to be inspired staring at this, box. my computer. the screen. I get alot of ideas, really, but not right now. I remember alot of things i want to write down, they come to me when i am lying in bed. it seems that it is then where my thoghts are clearest, and even more persistant. It is kind of ironic, the moment where i want peace and to stop thinking, i think the most. I just sit in bed for hours, with tons of ideas and thoughts and feelings, everything seems to be at its peek. i would write them all down, but im lazy. I really had some good thoughts too, and i would like to have shared them with you guys, but i cant think of them now. I wish i had written them down, or there was something to record what i was thinking. it would also be easier if i didnt have a roomate, because then i could get up and play my guitar when a good tune comes into my head, or turn on the light to write it down. but no, i lose all the good stuff. all the passion is gone, and i continually regret not writing things down when they come to mind. i guess i should start.....i'll get back to you with some brilliant stuff, i mean, borderline mind blowing stuff....take a seat....

every one knows
the feeling told
a dot, contained
an arrow, flat
lines and beyond
beautiful is forgotten
words are forgotten
circle to circle
center red is struck
blink, but stare
sprouted feathers explode
with ground falling
air and more air
tis what we owe
pleasure of first shot
in season blossoming
come yee
carrier and archer
let me feel
so that i know
what is real
a burning heart
with winged angel
it proclaims :
"for a time
your eyes may be
unblind, this i give
the power of chance
vison of true
a mind, unwritten
some take with pain
some leave bear
only the wise
shut thou eyes
to reveal what
is truly there"

We can't think witout words
this is what a professor just said to my class. its a confusing statement to me at least, because i'd hope that my thinking wasn't confined to words, so i thought it was true. Then i asked to myself: "isnt a picutre worth a thousand words"? so dreams and pictures in my mind would void this statement because they could be a type of thinking too, right? who cares anyway, that guy is dumb for even getting me started

ok well..due to popular demand, and by popular demand i mean ...well it just sounds cool, i will get back into the habit of writing stuff. so how was ur break..i cant really say christmas break because not everyone celebrates christmas, and not everyone celebrates christmas for the right reasons. It is supposed to be a chirstain holiday, but people who belive in the tooth fairy more than they believe in jesus, or god, celebrate christmas. so it has become that the 25 of december has been degraded from jesus' birthday to a day of exchanging gifts and extreme glutony, fitting our materialistic world perfectly. another thing that bothers me is that jesus wasn't even born in december. according to ancient records jesus was born in april, or so i've heard from the discovery channel, and the catholic/christian church moved it to december to compete with the jewish holidy of chaunaka (how ever you spell it). In the month of april is also easter, and we can't have two major holidays so close to each other. So it just that in it's self changes the meaning of the Christmas, i mean if anyone could choose to celeberate their birthday on any other day...it wouldnt really be their birthday...well from now on im changing my birthday from october 23 to ...say july 4, its just sounds cool...ok anyway. Im just sayin that christmas is a confusing holiday, i just feel that people try to put all this meaning behind it that they dont even fully believe or support. the holiday is not really what we think it to be, its just all dressed up with lights and nice wrapping paper that we just get so carried away with all the phyical, material things that what we really want it to be about doenst happen. Instead it turns into a month where parents can make their kids behave and act all sweet to each other just so they can get their barbie dream house or paint ball gun the've always wanted. there is really nothing wrong with giving and being nice once in a while, it just bothers me that its connected to religion and faith, very weakly might i add, because its just doenst make sense to me. over the years i've noticed my intrest in christmas decline, its just not really about what i thought it was, but there is nothing i can really do about it but gritt my teeth and spend all my money, then be broke and feeling even more frustrated when valentine's day comes around. now just dont get me started on that wack holiday.

whats up everyone, I haven't written in a while...i will write later tonight. Just letting you know I didn't get run over by reindeer, im still alive.