Flooded Heart
At least I got this feeling one time
Over and over
Flipped up and sober
Wished the magical string
Was not so taught
At least we know the light of day
Bright and brighter
Blinded and lighter
Now we have something to compare
Suspended in thin air
For the first time we see
A miracle in everything
These floating petals
Give the wind something to dance about
Tumble and tumble
Dirt turns humble
Looking for footprints to walk in
Stop waiting for this road to be built
Standing on tippy toes to peer over the hill
Where to nowhere
No one to share
Staring down at forever settled dust
Taking that first bear footed step
Rushing through your brain, blood, and body
Feelings to feel
Belief in unreal
With every step, a mother gives birth
With every stumble, death occurs
Now climbing up slope and sliding slantways
Your heart has been set in motion
You brain will follow
Your feet will make the dust want to catch up
While off your head a stream of flowing hair will forever smile

trees. i really like trees. they are so calming and inspiring to me. when i look at any tree, i see perfectness. to me it is in complete random branching and they way each one is different that makes them perfect. it is difficult to capture the feeling swaying brances give me, it is just the feeling of life all around me. to be standing in the wind without any troubles, just to be apart of whats around you. to be born from a tiny seed, growing and branching outward, with a co-dependace with the world around you. Everything in the world is like this, we all have relationships with eachother, with trees, with dirt. most people dont choose to see it, it is a realization that most dont even recognize to exist. but we all feel it inside, the feelings we get when looking into the eyes of another, or playing in the snow. just looking outside and staring, just being in the moment and forgetting about everything brings about this extraordinary sense of being alive and playing such a small part of things around you. well thats what we need to do, just sit and forget and stare. like nothing is there and you dont have to go anywhere and you dont have to think about anyting because you are just a tree, rooted to the ground being moved by the passing wind. the flow of life around you while you flow through other things. some people look and because they dont understand they misjudge, as if your crazy, like you have no life. they may look at you and ask whats wrong or what are you doing, but you dont remember, you dont know anything except that you have been alive more than they will ever be. we have to be careful to not disturb life around us, the passing ants and the branching trees, even if they do get in "our" way. well its not our way, its just the way, no ones to claim. everything is existing in the way it was ment to be, so when we change this, we scar ourselves, we stop ourselves from being alive in true life. why create your own world if it is not real, why belive that one thing is better than another, that one way is better. it is all right, and if it happens then it is ment be that way, why change it. changing our world just puts us farther and farther into a cave, keeps us blind from the real world and what life is really about.

dropped copper

when i reach for the stars and come back with a handfull of
not tall enough
im not afraid of the things i know nothing about
to embrace them is stepping in front of the
ask for spare change
so we go to sleep and wake up and repeat
read the next step on the list of
never going to make it
in what mold do we shape ourselves
believing moving pictures at the
stealing bread
always left wondering how we got to this point
grey brissley beards left seeds to grow out of
never smart enough
so it is, time has come and wraped along your leg
pulling down and falling while grasping the
picking up dropped copper
i know when you dont fit into the puzzle
you get thrown and forgotten with the rest of
not tall enough

Tree Tied
I am tied here to this tree by a leash
The tree is tied by its growing roots
The roots are dug into moist ground
The ground is wraped in miles around
All around is lifed tied to the earth
So the earth is what I am holding down
Tied it back with my selfish leash
Then my disturbance in peacefullness
Will scar the mother more than I can know
Nothing will be left to cherish
And I am worried about being tied to a tree?

Taking it like a champ, believing im going to end up drinking the cool water holding the belt. But reality is my enemy finding new ways to beat me. The kicking while im down marks the outside, but the looks and feelings explode my inside. It would be nice if the sun shone just for one day, and in that day i could do everything a normal fighter does, not stopping to obey the rules, not thinking I'm a fool. Just being what I do best, crave the existiance that gives to the hands that feed the monster. Raping is his discharge, leaving me to scrabble for my energy, changing me from within. Meeting a chance to fight with my old personaliy only to begin the cycle again. Who are these people that know me, to say my type and what my goal is. Should I believe them if I dont know the answer?

I had an idea to make a vw beetle look like a ninja turtle..get the paint job to look like a ninja turtle...i copywrite that idea. im a fat dorkus.

Fate is not far behind
Why do my shut eyes weep?
It is evident in the way I walk
Wanting to be walking somewhere else
Flashes of faces and the one
The one that stalks me
I can hear you looking
When my back was turned
I could feel that I was admired
But my reality is mine
I’m having it hard enough
Realizing that it stops at my eyes
My ears and brain know otherwise
I can’t stop it, cause it hasn’t started
But I beg for your beauty
So I lie waiting and walking by
Some day it will grasp me
And shake me about
Being slapped awkwardly
The churning and mining
The last gasp and last beat
Happens every moment and every picture
When all I look for is crescent lips
Thrown in my direction, I’m faulted
I can’t break out of this body made of stone
Waiting for my sculptor, chisel in hand
Make me your prize, worthy of attention
I just want someone to say I’m priceless
But in my self the praise belongs to the gentle hand
The mind that pulled me out of the boundaries
I just assume not think about it

umm yes... fairly bored here. i cant think of anything to write. it snowed and sleeted alot here, but i was hoping for no school today.ehh oh well. all the snow is turnning into quick sand and when you walk through it you get sucked in. so i dont know why they didnt cancel classes, i have to carry a walking stick where ever i go. im wating on more homeless encounters so that i can share them..but nothing new. ive gotten word from omar that i can come up to see him in greece during spring break. all i have to do is get my parents to pay for it...umm i dont think im that convincing. well i hope im able to go. im too lazy to go out to get food, all ive got is two stale doughnuts from this weekend, that meaghan bought cause we were hungry at 1 in the morning. maybe if i put them in the microwave they will soften up...or else they can be used as a paper weight or a potential wepon..i mean they are hard as a rock. well im goin back to plain my guitar

valentines day? a cathloic started holiday in celebration of st. valentine. there is not much know about st. valentine, in fact, there are three saints, st. valentines or valentinus, that this holiday could be named after. one legend contends that st.valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. So why do we celebrate Valentine's day on Feburary 14? Well of course it's the cathloics that decide to put it on day to contend with other religons. Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.

(information provided by www.historychannel.com)

i got alot of ideas. i think im going to write a book or movie. i want to be able to effect people in a positve way and help view things in a different light. im reading plato's writings about socrates, it helped me. socrates was sentenced to death because he was said to be corupting the youth of athens. people always have negative feelings to those who are different or those who think differently. many people punish and outcast those who are different in society, just because its not normal or accepted. socrates was said to be wise, but he never thought himself to be wise. he loved to talk and think and ask questions, this is something that we all should do. why should we cast out those who truly make a difference, those who do not belong, for it is in them that we are able to be who we are, individuals. why does society murder all those who tell the truth, we want to make a world in a place that doesnt belong to us in the first place. i think that if we accept the world as it truly is, accept people and what they have to say, then cilvilization would be in better harmony, and peace. we have yet to accept the fact that we cant own everything, life is not for sale.

Here is another web site that gets my intrest. It goes along with what i had to say about christmas. i believe some of what this site proclaims, but dont here it from me check the site out and figure out your own way. Christmas Resistance

Ive stumbled upon something interesting, click the link {>} squirrel Fishing.

my head hurts
i want to go to sleep
im drinking tea
i want it to snow or sleet
or something
cannibalism is gross
my sugar packet fell into my tea
it is globuled with the paper
i want to go to sleep
my head still hurts
like it used to
i want to go somewhere
where my ideas come true
where i can live
instead of planning
i cant count on the future
i dont want to count on the future
what about now
my head hurts now
but im just planning on going to sleep
planning on time to waste away
time to take me away
i know what i have to do
or shold do
i do what im supposed to do
not what i know i have to do
but im wating on
somthing easier to come
and do it for me, i know
i know in order for me
to be alive now i have to
do what makes my head
hurt go away

Commercial Break

All we do is spend time watching TV
We never go outside because its all on TV
Now what is it with this world today
When reality is defined by a picture screen
Now we all have forgotton about open skies
When our lives are defined by a picture screen

All it takes is one in a crowd to spread a diease
So why not take one to spread the word
The truth is not what you see but what you feel inside and know to be
Dont close your ears, only your eyes
There's people out there that would like you to be blind
So I hope you realize that there is a world you don't know
A world not given to you so easily through the TV

Bathroom thought: Can you smell your own boogers?

I don’t want to wake up in the morning
I just want to stay asleep
And maybe I’d keep on dreaming
Of all the things I want to be

Easier this way to be me
One in a crowd of faces
I want to be the one looking
Looking in the other way

What I see now is nothing
Shapes and lines are for you
I wish i could see the truth
Take away the chains from my brain

"Art is a lie realizing the truth"
"History is truth becomming falshood, myth is falshood becomming truth"
all truths lie, even words can be picked apart to find discrepency, but just have that holy moment and be where you are, stare and dont think, let your body know the truth and your brain will follow.

i went pee in a urinal today. directly in eye distance was some grafiti written on the wall "This is not the joke. The joke is down there". Of couse i chuckled a bit, but then realized there were two guys next to me. I felt slightly embarassed looking down and laughing at my self.

hello! save the humans. Ive thought of some new ideas. Ive changed my picture page a bit, but I added some save the humans logos i made, they are on my pic page so check them out and let me know what you think. i want to make stickers out of them and stick them to things. i guess thats what you do with stickers. well my empire is just a little bit bigger, hopefully with your support my cause will be greater and stronger, but first i have to come up with a cause....humm...save the humans, a anti-war campaign? Help the homeless? protect the enviroment? stop discrimination against all people?........let me know what you are thinking