Taking it like a champ, believing im going to end up drinking the cool water holding the belt. But reality is my enemy finding new ways to beat me. The kicking while im down marks the outside, but the looks and feelings explode my inside. It would be nice if the sun shone just for one day, and in that day i could do everything a normal fighter does, not stopping to obey the rules, not thinking I'm a fool. Just being what I do best, crave the existiance that gives to the hands that feed the monster. Raping is his discharge, leaving me to scrabble for my energy, changing me from within. Meeting a chance to fight with my old personaliy only to begin the cycle again. Who are these people that know me, to say my type and what my goal is. Should I believe them if I dont know the answer?